Blood on My Hands

CHAPTER 24

Monday 6:17 P.M.

WE STAND IN the muddy, cold shadows of the reeds. The cheers are still coming from the soccer field.
“What were you doing there?” he asks.
“I just … I don’t know.… They spotted me in town and I had to run. Then I felt so scared and alone, and so tired of hiding. I just wanted to be near people. And then I saw you.”
He looks at my face, clearly puzzled. “Are those real?”
For a second I don’t know what he’s talking about. Then I pull the ring off my lip and he smiles as if he’s relieved, then shakes his head. “Did you have to cut off your hair?”
“Yes.”
“What happened last night? You disappeared in the middle of our conversation.” It sounds like he really cares, like he was worried about me. Just knowing that is like breathing in pure oxygen. It makes me feel hopeful and reenergized.
“I couldn’t stay on,” I tell him. “The police were coming. They must be tracing my phone. But I have to tell you what I’ve learned.” I tell him about Griffen Clemment. “He thinks Dakota sent those text threats. So you see, Slade? She did have a motive for killing Katherine.”
He draws in a breath and for a moment I wonder if he’s going to argue that girls don’t go around killing their friends just because one stole another’s boyfriend. But he doesn’t know Dakota. Then again, a week ago I might have argued the same thing, and I do know her. It’s just that you learn things and start to put together the pieces and that’s when the seemingly impossible begins to look possible.
“Listen …,” he begins.
“I know what you’re going to say, Slade,” I say, cutting him short. “And—”
“No, you don’t.” He cuts me short. “The police came to my house. They interviewed me for a long time. I had to tell them we talked, Cal.”
It’s another unexpected jolt, but I know immediately that I shouldn’t be surprised.
“They interviewed you about me?”
“Not just you. Everything.” He looks down at our muddy feet. “Almost made me feel like they thought I was a suspect.”
“You think they do that just to make sure you’re telling the truth?” I ask.
He shrugs and shakes his head. My mood begins to plummet again. They were bound to get to him sooner or later. It feels like the police are getting closer and closer. I must be crazy to think I can skulk around this town, trying to prove that Dakota killed Katherine, when everyone’s looking for me.
*  *  *

I’d never hung up on Slade before. I sat there, feeling a crazy storm of emotions rage inside me. Anger, relief, guilt, resentment. Was I facing a choice? Tedium with Slade or fun with Katherine? Security or uncertainty?
The phone rang again. “Hi,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You’re right. It’s not fair to dump all this on you.”
“I shouldn’t have hung up on you,” I said.
“I love you, Cal.”
“I love you, Slade.” I believed it in my head, but it wasn’t what I was feeling in my heart.