“Nothing, real y.” She glanced at her watch. “I don’t have to worry about anything for at least thirty minutes.”
“Do you want me to be on turkey duty?” Mom offered.
“Turkey’s done. I cooked it yesterday.” Macal an popped a bacon
rol -up into her mouth. “I did the fancy turkey last time. This year I wanted to do my aunt Janet’s recipe. Cooked the turkey yesterday, then marinated it overnight in gravy.”
“It’s so good,” Adam said as he took the knife away from me to
help himself to more cheese bal .
“Don’t eat the entire cheese bal ! You know I’ve got a ton of food for dinner: stuffing, wild rice, macaroni and cheese, sweet potato casserole, glazed carrots. . . . I think there’s a green vegetable somewhere in there. I’m not sure, it’s a holiday!”
“It all sounds fabulous.” Mom rubbed Macal an’s arm. “You look
gorgeous, sweetie.” She real y did. She had this green dress on that accentuated her red hair. “We’ve real y missed you. All we keep hearing from Levi is how busy you’ve been.”
The cheese ball got caught in my throat. I didn’t want the day to begin with me getting caught in a lie. I wanted this to be a fun meal like we always had together, even though I knew my mere presence was enough to prevent that from happening.
I studied Macal an’s face to see if she was going to give away
the fact that I’d been using excuse after excuse for reasons why Macal an wasn’t around. Why we couldn’t do Sunday dinners anymore. I kept saying Macal an had this cooking thing or that academic event.
But the real reason was that I was being selfish. I didn’t want anything to take away from my time with my guys. I didn’t want to be attached to Macal an. Like she was some sort of tether weighing me 217
down. But it was my ego, my insecurity about where I fit in that was responsible for my stupidity.
Macal an smiled. “Yeah, it’s been a crazy few months.” She took
a handful of pecans and headed into the kitchen.
“Ah, I’m going to see if she needs any help,” I said as I got up. I ignored the sarcastic comments from my dad, as it was pretty clear that the only help I could give anybody in the kitchen would be to exit immediately.
Macal an was washing a pot. Her back was to me. I couldn’t tell if she was angry.
“Do you need help?” I offered.
Her shoulders tensed up. “No, I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” I approached the side of the sink and picked up
a towel.
“Suit yourself.” She handed me the dripping dish.
Macal an jumped up to sit on the kitchen island as I began to dry off the pot.
“Did you invite Stacey for dessert?” she asked.
When Mom had talked to Macal an to see what we could bring,
Macal an had invited Stacey to join us later when she was done with her family.
“Nah. I thought it would be good to be only family.” I hesitated. “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be together.”
Which was true. Stacey was a cool girl, but I was with her because I thought I should be with a cheerleader. That was what most of the varsity athletes did. That was what Keith did. Plus, I thought it would be easier to have a girlfriend to keep my feelings for Macal an in check. And that wasn’t fair to Stacey. Or to me.
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“That’s too bad,” Macal an replied. There was absolutely no emotion on her face. I couldn’t tell if she real y thought this was bad news or if she was being sarcastic. Usual y, it was pretty clear when she was being sarcastic, mostly at my expense.
A smile started to slowly spread across my lips as I thought back on some of our epic bantering sessions. Guys think they can talk crap, but they’ve got nothing on Macal an in terms of wit and a rapid-fire reflex.
She looked confused. “You’re smiling over your relationship
ending?”
“No, no.” I didn’t need her to think of me worse than she probably already did. “I was thinking about the time we went to that
Brewers game —”
“And you dropped your hot dog,” she finished for me.
“Yes! And you would not let me forget it because I —”
“Still ate it!”
“Yeah!” I said a little louder than I intended, mostly because I was excited to remind her about a fun time we’d had. “But!”
“There’s no buts about it. It was disgusting.”
“It was only —”
“ ‘On the floor for five seconds.’ ” She repeated what I kept saying to her that day in a low voice, the one she always used when she imitated me. Usual y, it annoyed me when she did that. I was ecstatic to hear it from her now.
“Remember, I hadn’t put anything on it yet.”
“Which would’ve been better because then you could’ve at least
wiped the dirty ketchup off.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t stop teasing me about it.”
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“Because it was disgusting.” She said this slowly, like she was