surgery.”
I started to do the math in my head. He would miss track
in the spring. Football next year was questionable. So much
of his identity rode on his being on a team. At least he should
be okay for his last year of track.
We walked into the kitchen and saw Mrs. Rodgers sitting
with Keith and Tim at the table. Keith smiled at me, then
froze when he saw my dad.
“Hey, guys,” I said to relieve the tension.
Dad stood silently next to me. “It’s okay,” I whispered to
him. It was already pretty obvious that I knew how to handle
myself around Keith. If anybody should be worried, it should
be him.
Keith stood up uncomfortably. “It was pretty bad,” he said.
Tim nodded in agreement. “And I swear, Macallan, it wasn’t
my fault.”
229
“Why would I think it was your fault?” I said. Although
the thought had crossed my mind.
He let out a slight grunt. “Um, it’s pretty clear you don’t
like me.”
“Whatever would’ve given you that impression?” I asked
dryly.
“Macallan,” Levi’s dad interrupted. “He’s upstairs and
ready to see you.”
I walked up the stairs slowly, unsure of what was waiting for me in Levi’s room. Even though the door was open, I
knocked on it anyway.
He was sitting up in bed, his right leg wrapped up, ele—
vated, and with a pack of ice on it.
“How you feeling?” I asked, even though his face gave
away his misery.
“I can’t believe how much I messed this up.” He leaned his
head back and closed his eyes.
“It’s going to be okay.” I grabbed his desk chair and brought
it over to his bedside. “You’ll get stronger from this.”
“Six months. At least.” His voice revealed that he could
hardly believe it himself. His eyes darted to my side. “What
is that?” He gestured at the bag of brownies I had forgotten
all about. I was gripping it as if my life depended on it.
“Oh, um, do you want some brownies? They still need to
thaw.” I had never felt like a bigger idiot in my life.
He laughed. “It’s good to know that some things never
change.” He winced slightly and I bolted up.
“Are you okay? Do you need something?” I was so worried
that he was going to break on my watch.
230
“No.” He looked down at his leg. “Well, I do need a lot. You
wouldn’t happen to have a spare ACL lying around, by any
chance?”
I was relieved he was making a joke. Not that I found any
of this funny, but it was nice he wasn’t so far gone that his
sense of humor had disappeared.
We both sat in silence for a few minutes. I really didn’t
know what to say to him. To be honest, I’d been waiting for
him to apologize to me for months. And I almost told him
right then and there that all he needed to do was say he was
sorry and mean it. But I knew it wasn’t the right time.
I saw it was getting late, and more as an excuse to break
the silence, I got up. “I figure you need some —”
He grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry, Macallan.”
In my head, I’d planned to list all the reasons he should be
sorry and remind him of all the times I had been there for
him. Of how hurtful his actions and words had been. Of
how much pain he’d caused me. But I didn’t need to say any
of that.
Because he already knew.
Instead, I said what we both needed to hear.
“It’s okay.” I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.
“It’s not,” he said. “What I did —”
I stopped him. “I know, and you’ve apologized. And I’m
sorry, too. What I think we both need is to get back to where
we used to be.”
“That’s all I want.” He smiled at me. That familiar smile
I hadn’t seen on his face in months. “You know I don’t
deserve you.”
231
“Oh, I do know.” I winked at him, then turned and walked
downstairs. I had a feeling that things were going to be okay
between us.
We had both made mistakes and been admittedly stubborn,
but we needed to move on with, not away from, each other.
“Hey!” Dad lit up when he saw me. “You’re smiling. I take
it everything’s okay up there.”
I knew, given the circumstances, my joy should’ve been
more contained, but I couldn’t help it.
Levi was in my life again.
The weeks leading up to Christmas were busier than usual.
On top of studying for exams, Christmas shopping, and
booking extra babysitting gigs to pay for said shopping, I also
had to be Levi’s caretaker at school. I was given keys to his
car so I could help his mom transport him to and from school.
I also helped him with his bags, which really annoyed him
more than the crutches he had to use until his surgery, which
was scheduled for two days after New Year’s.
Keith, Tim, and the other guys on the team were helpful
for the first few days, but either their guilt had subsided or