Before You Go

FORTY-ONE

Noah doesn’t try to catch up with me after class. I don’t wait for him either, I’m not sure he’d want me to. It’s obvious he cares about me, but maybe it’s just in a protective big brother sort of way.

Instead of making myself crazy with wonder and worry, I go to the center to dance. I work on the combinations Kevin taught me, hoping to let everything fade away.

It doesn’t work.

Before I know it I’m in my car heading to Noah’s apartment. I argue with myself on the drive. I want so bad to go to him. To see if he still has real feelings for me. But if I do, there’s no more playing around. If I go to him now, and he takes me back, we are together for the long haul. No more bailing out when it gets hard or messy or scary.

If I—

I stop myself with a knock on his door. My body is on autopilot, doing what it needs to. My brain tries to keep up.

There’s no answer, but I can hear music coming from upstairs. His apartment door is unlocked. I slide my boots off and walk into a lovely sound—lazy notes singing, soft and sweet. Noah’s deep melody joining in. I could listen to him all day. His music, his voice, it’s like coming home and being wrapped in a soft, toasty blanket.

Noah sits at his keyboard, his scruffy old Adidas keeping time as he watches his own fingers moving, changing the melody. It’s a beautiful sight watching him make music.

He looks up at me and lets out an enormous sigh as relief washes over his face.

“Tabby.” He’s at my side instantly. “I was hoping you’d find your way back here.” He brushes the hair out of his eyes, revealing the dark circles underneath. “Actually, praying—to all the gods and even Jesus—that you’d make your way back to me.”

“You want me here?” I ask, confused.

He nods and gives me the softest smile. “Always.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that in class?”

“You didn’t ask,” he smirks.

“Noah, I don’t want to play games.”

“I don’t either. But I want you with me for the right reasons, Tab. It was time for you to make the decision.”

“I want the same thing,” I say, worried about what’s going to come next.

“You had me scared out of my mind for the past three days. I was so worried about you. I’m so sorry I pulled up all that shit.”

“It’s not your fault,” I tell him.

“I had no idea.” He grabs my arms and pulls me on the bed. “Tabby, I am so sorry about what happened to you. I could kill every last one of those lowlife f*ckers. I will—just say the word.”

“I’m sorry you had to find out, but I’m grateful that you’re not printing the story.”

“I’d never do that to you, baby. That’s what I was trying to tell you when I called, but I was only making matters worse. I knew I couldn’t come after you, I knew you wouldn’t see me.”

“But what about your resume and—”

“And nothing,” he says, kissing my hands. “I’d rather work at a country newspaper in North Dakota than do anything to hurt you.”

“Why? Why would you do that for me?”

“I’m in love with you. I have been for months now. I was just waiting for you to catch up. I would do anything for you, Tab.”

“Even after knowing what you know? Seeing me that way, and all of that ugliness?”

“If it’s possible, I love you even more because of it. That you were able to get over something so life-shattering. They didn’t break you, baby.”

“Sometimes I’m not so sure,” I admit.

“I am. You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. Look at you with Jenna today. I’ve never been so proud.”

“Look at you with Jenna today,” I counter with a smile stretching across my face.

“Yeah, I’m just sorry it took me so long to grow a pair. I guess I’m still healing too. But you are the most important thing to me. And I won’t let anyone, not even Jenna, hurt you again. Ever. But no more secrets, Tabby. I can’t take it. That’s not how it’s going to be with us.”

“Okay,” I say, agreeing to his simple demand.

“Okay,” he says. Then he kisses me, and this time I know, I really know, everything is going to be okay.

“I love you, Noah Adler,” I whisper in his mouth.

“I love you, Tabitha Kelly,” he whispers back. “Now let me show you what you deserve, baby. Let me take care of you.”

He does just that in every way possible and this time, there’s nothing standing between us.

Not even my past.

###

The next morning, I get a call while Noah’s in the shower. It’s the most amazing news. I run into the bathroom to share it immediately.

“Noah?” I call out so he can hear me over the sound of the running water.

“Yes, Tabby.” He flips the shower curtain open.

I forget my news for a minute, lost in his beautiful body.

Noah reaches out for me and I take his hand, only to be pulled into the shower with him clothes and all. He remedies that problem quickly, slipping me out of his t-shirt I slept in and trailing kisses down my belly as he takes off my panties.

The first time we did this, before Noah knew, was wonderful. But what we have now is even better. Each time he touches me, he wipes away some of the damage. Little by little. I cherish every single second and don’t even think about my news until he brings it up an hour later when we’re eating breakfast in bed.

“I seem to remember you had some news for me,” Noah says between bites of toast.

“Yes, I did.”

He stops eating and looks at me. “Well, come on. Out with it.”

“I have some good news.”

“It’s about time,” he says, sliding me closer to him.

“I’ve been asked to join a local dance company,” I squeal.

“You what?” His voice cracks, almost choking on a sob. “That is the best thing I’ve heard…ever! I didn’t know you were auditioning.” He shakes his head. “You sly, sly dog.”

“Guess what else?”

“What?” he treads lightly now.

“I got the lead.” I laugh.

Noah beams and smothers me with kisses.

I’m fairly sure we’re not leaving this apartment today.