After Midnight

45
WHERE IS ELROY?

Or maybe not.
As the minutes went by, I kept expecting to hear the door slide open. But no sounds came from the house.
What’s he doing in there?
Playing games, probably.
Payback games. He’s staying inside, wasting time, trying to scare me.
I turned my back to the pool and stared at the living-room door. From where I was standing, though, the glass reflected too much. I could barely make out any details of the dim room.
I should probably just go in and see what’s keeping him.
Yeah, sure, I thought. That’s what he wants me to do. So he can jump out and scare the…
What if he’s dead?
He isn’t dead, I told myself. Whoever took the saber is probably long gone. You don’t rob a house, then stick around. You get out as fast as you can.
Unless maybe it’s not just a robbery.
Maybe the whole idea is to use the sword on me.
Who would want to do that? I wondered.
Judy. She got away, somehow, and now she wants revenge.
But she couldn’t possibly know where I live. She knew nothing about me, certainly not my address or my real name.
Maybe my midnight swimmer came back for another try at me.
Get real, I told myself. A guy like that isn’t going to show up in daylight. Or any other time, probably, since he had to figure I’d called the cops on him.
Somebody took the sword.
Probably.
But maybe not. Even though I had a specific memory of hanging it back up—had I taken it down again for some reason?
Maybe I’d done it while concentrating on something else. That sort of thing happens to me, sometimes. I suppose it happens to everyone. Haven’t you ever, say, started off on a trip but then wanted to turn back because you couldn’t recall turning off the stove or locking the front door? Even though you figure you must’ve done it (and you’re right), you just cannot remember the act, no matter how hard you try?
It might’ve been that way with the saber.
Instead of getting all bent out of shape when I saw that it was gone, I should’ve made a quick search of the house. Maybe I would’ve found it in the den or bedroom or kitchen—exactly where I’d left it—and saved myself all this worry.
Why not do that now?
Staring at the shut door, I shook my head. This was about as close to the house as I wanted to get.
If Elroy comes out, maybe I’ll go in for a look around.
If?
He’ll come out, I told myself. Just let him get tired of his little game. He’ll quit as soon as he realizes I’m not going to fall for it.
Never should’ve let him go in there. If he’s dead, it’ll be my fault.
No, it won’t. I told him the truth, and he laughed at me. It’ll be his own damn fault.
Anyway, he’s fine. Probably wondering, right now, why I haven’t come in to look for him yet.
Get used to it, creepazoid. I’m not coming in. You can wait till hell freezes over and our steaks thaw out, I’m staying right here.
Even as I thought that, I realized that it might be a very long wait. Elroy had already shown himself to be childish, stubborn, and inconsiderate. A guy like that would be very slow to quit.
I didn’t exactly want to go on waiting.
For one thing, his absence made me nervous; I just couldn’t help fearing foul play, even though I knew the odds were against it.
For another, I wanted my margarita refill.
“I’ll get you out of there,” I muttered.
Then I turned away and walked alongside the pool. I rounded the corner. Stopping near the diving board, I turned to face the house again. The entire rear of it seemed to be glass. I couldn’t see in. But Elroy could see out, if he wanted to. At least from the living room, where the curtains weren’t shut. Other places, too, if he peeked through gaps at the edges of the curtains.
“Elroy!” I called.
But only once. With the house shut up tightly and the air conditioner on, he probably couldn’t hear anything from outside.
Speaking quietly, to myself really, I said, “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
Then I started to undo the buttons of my blouse. I began at the top and worked my way slowly downward. Even though I took my sweet time, I didn’t ham it up with any of that stripper stuff you see in the movies. That would’ve been too silly and embarrassing. I don’t mind taking off my clothes, but I’m not going to act like a dork about it.
I slipped my blouse off. I didn’t swing it around overhead, though, and give it a fling. I just dropped it to the concrete at my feet, then unfastened the couple of buttons at my hip and let my skirt fall.
Without looking down, I knew that I was pretty scratched and bruised. But I also knew that there was a lot more to look at than my injuries. My eyepatch panties didn’t leave much to the imagination, and neither did my translucent red bra.
Balancing on one foot, then the other, I pulled off my shoes and socks.
Over at the house, there was still no sign of Elroy. The door remained shut.
I took off my sunglasses, crouched, and set them on my skirt. Then I stepped onto the diving board. I walked out slowly over the water. The board bounced a little with each stride. When I reached the end, I stopped moving and the board settled down.
Still, I didn’t like standing up there. It was like being perched on a ledge. The slightest loss of balance, and I’d fall.
With my record for falling…
This time, at least, I would have a swimming pool underneath me.
I was tempted to go ahead and dive in while I still had control.
Not yet. Just wait. He’s gotta see me up here. That’s the whole point.
So I stayed put, and turned my head to look at the house. Which upset my balance. Not much, but enough to make me start to tilt. I faced forward quickly, bending my knees and spreading my arms. It was iffy for a second or two, but I managed to get steady again.
After that, I knew better than to turn my head.
I also knew it was only a matter of time before I fell off the diving board.
Are you watching, Elroy? Come on out!
Apparently, he hadn’t seen me yet, or he would be hotfooting it out for a closer look.
Maybe he can’t see me.
He’s down on the floor, dead.
Or maybe he’s watching me, all right, but afraid to come out.
Or maybe he’s got his face pressed to the glass, somewhere, and he’s gazing out at me, spellbound, frantic to watch and see what I do next.
I thought about taking off my bra. That would sure give him something to see. But I suddenly pictured Elroy naked and squirming against the glass door, just like the guy last night. Then he became the guy last night.
Enough of this nonsense.
I kept my bra on, raised my arms high overhead, bent my knees and sprang off the board.
I’m not much of a diver. I’m not much of an athlete of any kind, really. But I knew I had to be looking pretty good. Even with the worst diving form in the world—and mine wasn’t that bad—Elroy had to be drooling and erect watching me. If he was watching.
You better be watching, damn it.
I hit the water and went in cleanly and deep. It felt frigid, but only for a couple of seconds. After the first shock had passed, it felt okay. And then it felt just fine, cool and smooth, as I glided along below the surface. When I started to lose power from the dive, I swam underwater until I came to the shallow end of the pool. Then I stood up and turned toward the house.
And found myself looking at the den door.
First, I noticed the pale streaks down the glass.
Then I noticed a gap about ten or twelve inches wide at the door’s edge.
It’s open!
I hadn’t done that! I might’ve misplaced the saber—though I doubted it—but no way on earth had I left the den door unlocked and open.
I hadn’t left the curtains open, either.
But they were open now. In spite of the reflections on the glass, I could make out a few vague images inside the den. Not much, but enough to tell me that someone had opened the curtains.
Elroy must’ve done it.
Maybe he’d decided to give the house an inspection—just to make sure there really wasn’t an intruder. Along the way, he might’ve opened some curtains, opened the den door…
It hardly seemed likely, though.
He wouldn’t go around looking for intruders or signs of a break-in. Not Elroy. He hadn’t even looked to see if there were any hooks above the fireplace.
I suddenly knew the answer.
He did it as part of his plan to freak me out.
The bastard sure holds a grudge.
Or maybe he’s just doing it to amuse himself. Doesn’t mean to really scare me. Sees it as nothing more than a fun diversion, like hide ’n seek. A game to help pass the time while the steaks are thawing.
I called out, “Very funny, Elroy. I know what you’re doing, and I’m not falling for it. Why don’t you stop screwing around and come out?”
No answer came.
Frankly, I didn’t expect one.
But I hoped.
“I know you’re in the den, watching me.”
I knew no such thing.
I only hoped.
Please, let it be a dumb game he’s playing.
It has to be.
“I tell you what, Elroy.” My voice was shaking. “I’ll count to three. If you come out before I reach three, I’ll take my bra off for you. Hell, I’ll throw it to you. But only if you come out by the time I count to three. One.”
Nothing.
I went ahead and reached behind my back, anyway, to show him I meant business.
“Two.”
Nothing.
“Time’s running out. This’ll be your only chance, Elroy. If you don’t pop your head out of that doorway in one second…”
It didn’t pop out.
It rolled.