“I'm going to ask them to leave tomorrow morning. I'm not going to have her here anymore. It's not good for me … or for Andy.” She was cleaning all of it out, him, her mother, Alexis. In their own ways, they were using her, and hurting her, and she had understood that night, as she sat talking to Trygve, and when Andy had run away after that, that it was time to stop it.
“I respect you a lot, you know,” he said softly in the night air. “I always have. I don't know where things went wrong. Maybe I wasn't ready for all you had to give.” He was twenty-eight when they got married, but he had never really given up the idea that he could do whatever he wanted, and now there was a hell of a price to pay for it.
“You'll feel better when I'm gone,” he said sadly. “You can get on with your life then.”
“I'll be lonely too. This isn't going to be easy for anyone,” she told him honestly, and then she looked at him in the dark night. “What are we going to do about Allie?”
“There's nothing we can do. That's what gets to me so badly. I don't know how you sit there night and day. I'd go crazy.”
“I'm getting there. But what if she never comes back?” she whispered.
“I don't know. I try not to think about it. What if she does, and she's not the same. You know …like that kid …Bjorn … I don't think I could stand it, knowing what she used to be. I guess we just have to accept whatever comes, don't we? At first, I thought we had more choices. But now I realize we don't. … Or maybe we did then, we could have chosen not to operate, but then we'd have killed her. We did all the right stuff, and nothing's happening. But I'll tell you one thing, if she stays in the coma indefinitely, you can't sit there for years … or it'll destroy you. You're going to have to work that out eventually.” But it was still too soon. The accident had happened a little over three weeks before. And there was still a strong possibility she could come out of the coma.
“Don't let your life turn into that, Page …” he said, pleading with her “…you deserve so much more than that …more than I had to give you.”
She nodded, and turned away, trying not to think of what it would be like when he left. She looked up at the sky then, and saw stars, as she wondered how their life had gone so wrong …how they could have come so far …how this could have happened to them …and to Al-lie….
Chapter 13
Page waited quietly the next morning for her mother to get up, and when she did, she made breakfast for her and Alexis, and served it to them at the kitchen table. And then she told them quietly that they had to leave, that a week had been long enough, and this was not a good time for her to have them out there. She made no reference to the night before, and no apology, and they must have known she meant business, because neither of them argued with her. Her mother said that David was missing Alexis terribly, and she had to get home herself to see about repainting her apartment.
They were the perfect excuses, and Page didn't give a damn what stories they told each other about leaving. She wanted them out of her house by that night, and she had already booked them on a four P.M. flight in first class, much to her mother's amazement. She had also arranged for a limousine that would pick them up and take them to the airport. The limousine would be there at two o'clock, in plenty of time for their flight. And they could have lunch before they left the house, and even visit Allyson one last time, if they wanted to do that.
“Actually …” her mother stalled “…it takes me so long to pack. And Alexis said she thought she was getting one of her headaches. Of course, if you want us to visit Allyson, maybe we should take a flight tomorrow.” There was not a chance of that, as long as Page was alive. She was not letting them stay another moment. She was taking charge of her life again. As painful as it was, she had told Brad he had to move out, and now she was sending them back to New York.
“I don't think Allyson will mind,” Page said facetiously, but they took it seriously and said to be sure she told her that they both sent their love.
She stayed with them until they left, and then changed their beds, did two loads of wash, and vacuumed her whole house. She felt as though she was taking care of things, and doing what she could to get her life back in order. Their departure had been remarkably unemotional, considering the fireworks the night before. Nothing more needed to be said now.