“Did something happen?” He was trying to figure it out and she wasn't giving him any clues, but he wanted so much to help her.
“Nothing that hasn't happened before. My mother was playing never-never land, just like she always does, and I went nuts, I guess.” She smiled at him and looked a little embarrassed. “Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, but I didn't have any choice at the time. I told her that Brad and I were in trouble, which was dumb of me, and she talked about my father.” She wasn't sure how to tell him, and he was afraid to ask her. “My father and I …” she began, and then stopped and took another sip of coffee. “We …uh …had a pretty strange relationship.” She closed her eyes for a long moment then, and started to cry as she explained it to him. She hadn't really wanted to tell him, and yet she wanted to now. She wanted to be honest with him, and she knew it was safe to tell him anything.
“It's all right, Page,” he sensed easily how miserable she was, “you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”
“No,” she looked up at him, through her tears, “I want to. I'm not afraid to tell you …” She took a breath and went on, “We …uh …he …uh …molested me when I was thirteen …actually he slept with me …he …uh …had intercourse with me, when I was thirteen … it went on for a long time …until I was sixteen …and my mother knew it. Actually,” she seemed to choke on the words, “she forced me to …he'd been sleeping with Alexis for four years before that …my mother was afraid of him. He was a very sick man, and he used to beat her, and she let him. She said we had to 'keep him happy' so he wouldn't hurt us …she used to bring him in to me, and then lock the door behind him.” Page was sobbing as he took her in his arms.
“My God, Page …how awful …how sick …” He would have killed anyone who had done that to his daughter.
“I know. It's taken me years to get over it. I left when I was seventeen. I worked as a waitress to pay for an apartment. My mother said that was a terrible thing to do, that I had betrayed them …I had broken his heart, she said …when he died, for a while, I actually thought I'd killed him.
“Eventually, I met Brad in New York, and we got married and came out here. I found a good therapist, and I made my peace with it. But she's still trying to pretend it never happened. That's what got me so upset. I don't understand how she can do that. I've never understood any of it …how she could know he was doing that, and still pretend that he was decent …she called him a saint tonight, and it made me sick.”
“No wonder you lost it,” he said soberly as he listened. He was stroking her hair, and holding her as she talked, just as she did to Allie. “I'm amazed you even see her.”
“I try not to most of the time, but with Allie's accident it was hard not to let her come out. I knew I shouldn't, but I always think I can play the game with her. The trouble is I just can't. Every time I see her it reminds me of when I was thirteen …she hasn't changed …and neither has Alexis.”
“How did she get out of it?”
“He left her alone once he started with me,” she sighed, and leaned closer to Trygve, knowing she was safe there. “And she got married at eighteen. I was only fifteen then. She ran away with a forty-year-old man. She's still married to him. I don't think he expects much. I think he's gay, and has had a lover for years. He's kind of like a father to her. And I think her answer was to become someone new, new face, new body, new name. David operates on her constantly and she loves it. And she's willing to play the same games as my mother, they both pretend it never happened.”
“Did she ever get therapy?” He was intrigued. It was amazing that Page had survived it.
“I don't think so. She would certainly never mention it to me. But I think if she had, she'd say something. That would make us both survivors of our own little holocaust. But she's still playing the games with them. Actually, I don't think there's much of her left anyway. She's anorexic, bulimic, she's never had kids. She hardly even talks. She's just a showpiece for him, and she looks great in clothes. He spends a lot of money on her, and that keeps her happy.” Page grinned at him then. “We're very different.”
“Sounds like it. You look pretty good in clothes though.”
“Not like that. All she cares about is her face and her body. She's constantly purging herself, starving herself, she's obsessed with being clean, and being the perfect beauty.”
“Sounds like she still has a problem.”
“How could she not?” Page said sadly. But she felt better now that she'd told him.
“I had a feeling the other day that there was a reason why you disliked them so much, if you really did. I was never entirely sure if you were just kidding.”