Alexis had put on a new hat, her mother wore one of the new suits they'd bought, they kissed the air somewhere around Page's face, and they disappeared into the limousine while Page watched them. And she felt a wave of relief wash over her as she cleaned her house and realized they were gone. It felt particularly good when she cleaned Allyson's room, and the only thing that startled her was the unbelievable quantity of laxatives that Alexis had forgotten. She was a very sick woman, Page knew, but no one else seemed to be aware of that, or maybe they were and they didn't care. She was trying to make herself disappear, as well as everything that had happened to her, and it was a terrible way to do it. In her own way, she wanted to be a little girl again, the little girl she had been before her father raped her.
Page picked Andy up at school at four o'clock, feeling freer than she had in weeks, certainly since the accident, and he asked if they could stop off to buy a bunch of roses. Page suggested that he might like to give them to Chloe at the hospital because Allyson couldn't have them in ICU, and he agreed. He was excited about seeing her, and he talked about her all the way there, and Page reminded him again of what Allie would look like.
“I know, I know,” he said importantly, “like she's asleep.”
“No,” Page explained again, “different. She has a big bandage on her head, and her arms and legs are very thin, and there's a tube in her throat that helps her breathe, attached to a big machine that breathes for her. Sometimes it all looks pretty scary, particularly if you've never seen it before. Okay? You can talk to her, but she won't answer you.”
“I know. She's sleeping.”
He felt very important to be going to visit her, and he had talked about it at school all day. When they got to the hospital, he could hardly wait to get out of the car, and he held Page's hand as they hurried into the lobby.
They had bought pink roses finally for Chloe, and he bought one beautiful gardenia to give his sister. “She's gonna love it,” he said proudly, carrying it himself. But in spite of all her preparations, Page could see he was stunned when he saw her. And for some reason, she looked particularly bad that day. She was pale, and they had changed the bandage and it looked bigger and whiter. It was obvious too that her hair was all gone, and there suddenly seemed to be more machines than ever. There weren't, of course, but it seemed that way to Page, as she watched Andy stare at her. And then he moved slowly forward, and put the gardenia next to his sister on the pillow.
“Hi, Allie,” he whispered, his eyes huge, and then he touched her hand, and Page couldn't keep from crying. “It's okay … I know you're asleep …Mom told me.” He stood looking at her for a long time, and stroking her hand, and then he leaned over and kissed her. Everything around her smelled medicinal, except for the gardenia he had brought her.
“Dad's going to New York today,” he explained, “and Mom said I could see you again sometime soon. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.” Nothing stirred except the machines, and Page cried silently as the nurses watched them. “I love you, Allie …it's no fun at home without you.” He wanted to tell her Mom and Dad fought all the time, but he didn't want to hurt his mother's feelings. And he wanted to beg her to come home. He really missed his older sister. “Oh …and I have a new friend …Bjorn …you know, Chloe's brother. He's eighteen, but he isn't really.” He turned around and smiled at his mom, and he was surprised to see her crying. “Are you okay, Mom?”
“I'm fine,” she said, smiling at him through her tears. She was so proud of him, and she loved him so much. And she was glad she had brought him. She hadn't realized till then how much he needed to see his sister. And even if Allie died now, he would feel he had reached out to her, and said good-bye. She hadn't disappeared in the middle of the night into a vacuum.
He talked to Allie for a little while, and then he turned to Page and said he was ready to visit Chloe. He looked at his sister for a long moment then, and stood on tiptoe to kiss her.
“I'll see you soon …okay? … try to wake up soon, Al. We really miss you … I love you, Allie,” he said, and taking his mother's hand, he left ICU with his bunch of pink roses for Chloe.
It took Page a minute to regain her composure, and then she kissed him and told him how proud she was of him. “You're a terrific guy, you know that?”
“Do you think she heard me, Mom?” he asked, looking worried.
“I'm sure of it, sweetheart.”
“I hope so,” he said sadly. He was still subdued when they got to Chloe's room, but Page was amazed at how well he had done. He hadn't cried, or been visibly frightened. And he was even better with Chloe. Bjorn was there, visiting her too, and eventually the two boys started playing and laughing and running in the halls, and playing tag around the nurses.
“We'd better get them out of here before the nurses throw us out,” Trygve said, laughing, and then he glanced more seriously at Page. “How did he do in ICU? Was he okay?”
“He was fantastic. He was so brave, and so sweet. He left a gardenia next to her on the pillow.”
“He's a sweet kid. He seems happier today, how is he?”
“Okay. Brad and I had a long talk last night. He's going to move out. We're going to have to say something to Andy.”
“Nothing's ever easy, is it?” He squeezed her hand, and they went to round up the boys, and then Trygve invited them out for pizza. “Or do you have to go home and cook dinner for your mother and sister?”