After forcing himself back, he cradled my face. “Fuck, I missed kissing you,” he rasped before planting one more on my lips.
Smacking his chest playfully, I said, “That didn’t make this any easier, you know. But by all means, keep making my day more difficult.”
***
We ended up at a place I’d never considered.
Noah drove us to an amusement park about an hour away. We spent the car ride reminiscing about the summer as he held my hand. He introduced me to some of his favorite music, bands like Cake and Audioslave.
I’d never been more uncertain about the future, but I cared more about this man than I’d ever cared about anyone or anything. That was scary. No matter what happened after tomorrow, at the very least, I hoped to God I would see him again. I was crazy about him, and if he’d told me to hang everything up, run away to Vegas and marry him, I probably would have said yes.
That insane thinking was precisely why he’d say I needed to go away for a while, that I didn’t know what I really wanted. I guess time would tell, but my money was on my feelings getting stronger with distance between us.
The afternoon at the park was a blast. We rode all of the big rides and ate some greasy food. Our time on the roller coaster reminded me of our very relationship, all of the ups and downs, twists and turns.
It was the first time since Noah’s arrival in New Hampshire that we’d truly let loose away from home like this. It was a shame we didn’t have time to visit more places together.
My favorite parts of the day, though, were the moments when we walked through the park holding hands. He must have known I needed his touch today.
Toward the end of the afternoon, we passed a little house where psychic readings were offered. I’d never been into visiting a fortune teller, but if there was ever a time in my life that I hoped for some answers about the future, it was now.
I nudged Noah’s arm. “Will you do this with me?”
“You into that stuff?”
“Not normally, but I’m kind of curious.”
He stared into the window for a bit, then shrugged. “Okay.”
There was no one inside when we entered. Then, from behind a beaded curtain, a woman appeared.
“Hello. Reading for two?”
She had a nose ring and wore a head scarf.
I looked at Noah then back at her. “Can you do that? Read two people at once?”
“Yes, but the information I receive is very much out of my control, so it may not be balanced. The spirits decide whom they’d like to message.”
“So…when you say spirits, are you a medium or a clairvoyant?”
“A little bit of both—depends on the day and what gifts I’ve been blessed with.”
After we paid her, she sat us at a small circular table with a red tablecloth. She lit some tealight candles and stared at us for a moment.
“I am Iliana, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Heather, and he’s Noah.”
Noah remained quiet, with a skeptical look on his face.
Suddenly, Iliana squinted in confusion.
“Okay. This is going to sound really strange. I don’t even know why this question is coming to me. But I am going to ask it anyway. Who’s the ass tickler?”
Ass tickler?
“Did you say ass tickler?” I asked. “What is that?”
“I have no idea,” she said. “But that’s what I’m getting.”
I looked at Noah. I thought he’d be laughing, but instead he looked shocked. His eyes seemed frozen open.
“Do you know what she’s talking about?” I asked.
He scratched his head. “Uhhh…”
“Noah?”
The color drained from his face. “Okay, I’m really freaked out right now,” he finally said.
“Does that have meaning to you?” I laughed a little. “Ass tickler?”
Noah let out a long breath. “The night of your twenty-first birthday, you fell asleep on my bed. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah.”
“I never told you, but you were talking in your sleep.”
I covered my mouth. “Oh no.”
“And you said the weirdest thing—that you wanted to tickle my ass, among other things.”
“What?” I yelled. “I said that? And what other things?”
“We can talk about that later. Nothing bad, but the ass tickling was funny. I just don’t understand how she’d know about that.”
“I said I wanted to tickle your ass?”
“Yes.”
“What the hell was I thinking?”
“I don’t know, but I’m freaked out.”
Iliana raised her brow. “Freaked out? Surely you didn’t doubt my abilities?”
“I thought this was a bunch of bullshit. But you have my attention now.”
“The introduction of that term is an indication to direct my attention toward Heather for the moment.” Iliana closed her eyes for a while. “Okay. Wow.”
“What?” I asked impatiently.
“You have some changes on the horizon. Is there a big move coming up?”
“Yes. I’m moving to Vermont for school.”
“Okay. Yes. I’m sensing this looming transition. The next year will be life-changing for you in many ways.”
“In good ways?”
“In many ways.”
My stomach sank. “Does that mean something bad is going to happen?”
Why did I decide to do this?
“I can’t tell you that. All I’m getting is that this year is going to change your entire life, and you should be ready for whatever comes.”
I swallowed. “Okay.”
Iliana closed her eyes again before turning her attention to Noah. “You’re in love with her…am I right?”
Oh my God.
Time seemed to stand still as both of us looked at Noah.
“Don’t answer that,” I insisted. “It’s not fair for you to be put on the spot. Please don’t answer.”
I couldn’t bear to hear him say no. The longer he said nothing, the more excruciating this was. Noah just blinked.
Iliana placed both hands on her head. “Is everything okay with your head?”
“Depends on who you ask,” he said. “As far as I know. Why?”
“I can’t be sure. I’m feeling some pressure in my head, and I don’t know what it means. It could be literal or figurative.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It could represent a lot on your mind or actual physical head pain. Just be cautious.”
Noah seemed totally weirded out. “Okay.”
Illiana concluded her reading, and we left her feeling more confused than when we’d walked in.
Noah grabbed my hand. “I suddenly have a headache.”
“And I’m mortified because I’m apparently an ass tickler.”
“I’m still freaked out that she knew that.”
“What else did I say to you that night?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
He stopped and leaned into my ear. “You begged me to fuck you.”
What?
“You’re lying!”
“I wouldn’t lie about that. Begged.” He laughed. “That night was the beginning of the end of my resistance.”
“I can’t believe you never said anything.” Pointing my finger at his chest, I said, “I need to be aware of these things. What if I do that shit at school? I’m going to have to get a roommate. What if I say something to them in my sleep?”
“You might want to warn them ahead of time, clarify that you can’t be responsible for what you say. Tell them not to believe any of it—even if that shit is true half of the time.”
***
On the way home, we stopped at a restaurant near our house that Katy had selected.
As predicted, my mother had forced herself out in honor of Noah. It was amazing how much she’d grown to like and trust him compared to the beginning of summer.
Katy pulled a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of the table. “So what will be first on the agenda when you get home, Noah?”
“I’ve booked some assignments starting in October, so I’ll have a little time to get my studio in order again before I get back to work. My father has also been building a laundry list of things he needs me to do, stuff that needs to be fixed. He’s in his early seventies, lives alone, and relies on me a lot.”
She grinned. “He’ll be happy to have you back.”
“Yeah.” Noah glanced over at me and offered a sympathetic smile.
He knew exactly what I was thinking: his father’s gain would be my loss.