“I was gonna come over and talk to you tonight. I—”
“You’re leaving?” Her voice cracked. She held her hand over her chest. “Oh my God. Let me put this pie down before I drop it.”
I tried to find words to articulate my decision. The effort was futile. “Heather, I—”
“I can’t believe you were just going to drop this on me.”
“I thought it would be easier this way.”
“Easier? Do you have any idea what you mean to me?”
It couldn’t have hurt more if she’d ripped out my heart. Seeing her tears brought home how much she cared about me. It made me doubt everything again.
“This was gonna be happening in three weeks anyway,” I said, although it seemed like a sad excuse right now.
“I know. And I was going to cherish the fuck out of the time you had left here. The next three weeks mean everything to me. You’re just going to throw them away?”
“I don’t think it makes sense to prolong it,” I said weakly.
Her voice grew louder. “You’re a coward. Don’t think I don’t know what this is really about. You’re starting to feel something for me, so you’re going to run away.”
I laughed angrily. “Starting? I’ve been feeling it for so fucking long it’s not even funny.”
“You have an odd way of showing it.”
“I upset you last night. It isn’t going to be any easier to walk away from here in a few weeks. It seemed like the right time.”
“I was upset. But not at you. The more I thought about what you did in coming here, your intentions, the more I admire you. Sure, I was sad earlier, but now? Seeing you ready to walk out of here? Now I’m devastated.”
I swore under my breath. “It’s not my intention to hurt you. That’s not what leaving early is about—it’s just the opposite. It’s to avoid doing something to hurt you.”
“You’ve kept your cool with me, kept your hands off me all summer with the exception of yesterday. Suddenly you don’t think you can last another three weeks?”
She didn’t get it. “Another three weeks? I can’t last another second.”
She looked stunned. That made two of us.
Heather took a step toward me. “Nothing has ever hurt as badly as the pain of wanting you and not getting to have you, trying to hide my feelings from you. I don’t want to hurt like this anymore. I don’t care about next week or three weeks or next year. All I care about is now. I know damn well what will happen between us if you stay. That’s exactly why I don’t want you to leave.”
Fuck.
So many thoughts swirled through my brain. I took a moment to see her, this beautiful young woman who wanted to experience being with me. And I wanted nothing but to be with her. If I turned away now, would I look back at this moment for the rest of my life with regret? Would it haunt me—the moment I had an opportunity for something I wanted but threw it away? The moment I stopped us both from experiencing what we so badly wanted?
My head battled my heart and body—two against one. I knew with every ounce of my soul that if I moved toward her right now, it would be over. And it wouldn’t be my head that won.
The pain in her eyes was like nothing I’d ever seen, not even when her father had pulled the rug out from under her.
For the first time, I realized I might be hurting her more by denying her. Or maybe that’s just what I wanted to believe. Maybe it’s what I had to believe, because there was no turning back.
My mind went blank as physical need overtook it. I no longer knew wrong from right. I no longer had a sense of time. I just needed her.
“Come here.”
“Are you gonna send me away?”
“No. Not gonna do that.”
She walked to me and fell into my arms. I held her tightly. For the first time, I let myself breathe her in, hold her the way I wanted to without resisting.
I was a goner.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
* * *
HEATHER
When he lifted me into his arms and placed his lips on mine, I thought about how many times I’d imagined him doing this very thing. Feeling weightless, I wrapped my legs around his body, holding on to him for dear life.
Don’t leave.
Please don’t leave.
I’d been with one other person in my life, and he’d been a boy in every sense—mentally and physically. Noah was a man, larger than life in both body and mind. Getting to be with him like this incited unprecedented sensations within me. His sheer size rendered me powerless, and I’d never been so happy. I wanted him to own every inch of me.
I hoped I wasn’t embarrassing myself with how eagerly I was kissing him, tasting him—basically humping him. It felt so good to be swept up by this man and kissed with everything he had in him, to feel the warmth of his breath filling me. I felt out of control—like a feral cat.
Moving my hips, I rubbed against the massive bulge in his jeans, his heat resonating between my legs. Knowing I’d made him hard like that gave me immense satisfaction. I needed him to enter me.
“Don’t hate me for my weakness,” he groaned through our kiss.
“I’ll hate you if you stop.”
He smiled over my lips. Thank God we’re on the same page.
“I’ve never wanted anything like I want you, Heather. You make me so fucking crazy.”
I couldn’t even wait for him to undress me. I broke away from our kiss long enough to lift my shirt over my head and throw it on the ground. Staring into his eyes, I unsnapped my bra and let it fall to our feet.
His breathing was labored as he took in the sight of my bare breasts for a few seconds before bearing down on them with his mouth. The wetness of his tongue and the heat of his breath on my nipples practically caused me to orgasm. I could feel my clit throbbing as Noah sucked so hard I wanted to scream. It hurt so good. He used to treat me like a little girl, but he was handling me like a woman tonight; I was grateful for that. I may not have been that experienced, but I knew I could take whatever he had to give. My body was ready. It had been gearing up for this moment from the first time I’d laid eyes on him.
He took my nipple gently between his teeth. “So, so beautiful…”
I pressed his head deeper into me, raking through his hair with my fingernails as he sucked on my neck. I knew there would be marks on me tomorrow, and I didn’t care. Starving to taste him again, I guided him back up to my mouth. I kept expecting him to be bossy, tell me to slow down, scold me for my eagerness. But he never did.
Noah was just as lost in this as I was.
He walked us over toward the wall and propped me against it. He had no idea how many times I’d fantasized about this very thing.
Our kiss grew even more intense, and I wanted him to lift my skirt and fuck me right here. Instead, he suddenly put me down. Worried he’d changed his mind, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me. He resisted.
He could see the fear in my eyes.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not going anywhere, okay? But I need to stop for a second.”
My heart pounded. Why is he stopping?
“I need to lock the door,” he said before cupping his hands around my face and pulling me in for a reassuring kiss. “We can’t take a chance on someone coming in.”
Relief washed over me. I leaned against the wall as he went to the front door and turned the deadbolt. He drew the shades. Then he walked over to his backpack and took something out—a strip of condoms. He threw it on the nightstand and returned to me.
“I want to look at you,” he rasped, sliding his hand down my chest to my stomach.
He pulled at the button of my denim skirt and undid it. He nudged it down until it fell. I kicked off my shoes. Left in nothing but my thong, I watched as he gawked at me with glassy eyes.
“You’re so fucking hot. You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed about this. I’m so hard just looking at you.”
“What do you want to do to me?”