Noah looked down at his plate and played with the remnants of his frosting. It seemed like he had something on his mind.
Finally, he said, “I found out today that Olivia’s pregnant.”
Wow. His ex-wife is having a baby.
“That’s pretty big news…”
“Yeah.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“She and her husband had been trying for a while. I’m happy for her.”
I wasn’t sure I believed him. “Really?”
“Yeah…really.”
“But it must be weird.”
“It’s a little surreal, but not in a way that takes away my happiness for her. It’s a lesson that life moves on with or without you, a reminder that I should probably figure out my own life at some point.”
“Do you want kids?”
Noah sighed. “I wasn’t a very good husband, not sure I’d be any better as a father.”
I shook my head. I knew in my heart he was wrong. You know how sometimes you can see things in other people that they can’t see in themselves?
“I absolutely beg to differ,” I told him.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes. You’ve taught me so much about believing in myself and about the world. You’ve lived a diverse life, and you have a lot to offer a child from your experiences. And you’re protective. Plus, you know how I really know you’d be a good dad?”
“How?”
“It’s how you treat the guinea pigs, feeding them with chopsticks and always making sure they have enough water and hay. You make sure they each get an equal amount of food. Also, how you treat Teddy. He can be really overbearing sometimes, not to mention he’s super big. Yet you let him climb all over you, slobber on you, because you know it makes him happy.”
He chuckled. “I don’t do anything. I don’t know why he likes me so damn much.”
“I can relate to how he feels.”
Shit.
Noah stared at me, eyes wide.
Quick. Say something to distract. I cleared my throat. “So…I sort of have a date next weekend.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
* * *
NOAH
My mood went from hot to cold in an instant.
“Oh, yeah?” I said, trying to seem calm about it even as I felt sick to my stomach. “With who?”
It didn’t matter what I told myself—my feelings, my reactions when it came to her didn’t lie. I wondered which shade of green I was turning.
“This guy Jared I went to high school with. He’s in town for the summer because his father is sick. He goes to Harvard.”
“Harvard…pretty impressive.”
“Yeah. Neuroscience major. So clearly we have a lot in common.” She rolled her eyes.
It was getting hotter in here by the second.
“You like him?” I braced for her answer.
“Well, he’s attractive and nice. But I don’t know him too well. We weren’t really in the same crowd in high school. I was always with Eric—who wouldn’t have liked me hanging out with Jared.”
I swallowed. “He’s picking you up here?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I might want to check him out, make sure he’s legit.”
“No. You’ll scare him away. Either that or I’ll have to explain you to him, which won’t be easy.”
“That is easy. You tell him, this is my friend and bodyguard, Noah. He’ll kick your ass if you do anything to hurt me.”
She laughed. “Bodyguard?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I don’t think saying that will go over real well.”
“Is he a big dude?”
“Not as big as you.”
“Perfect, then.” I chuckled. “I’m kidding. I won’t embarrass you in front of your little friend.”
This whole thing felt like a test. It was the first time she’d be going out on a date since the time she’d gone out with her ex. I didn’t remember feeling like this, like I wanted to kill someone. Anyway, this was my problem, not hers.
Then, I pulled something I had no right to pull. For completely selfish reasons, I asked, “You sure you should be getting involved with someone who’s gonna be leaving soon?”
You’re a dick, Noah.
“Well, actually, I was thinking it might be perfect—no strings—since I can’t do anything serious right now, either.” She shrugged. “I’m leaving, too, so…”
And that’s what you get, asshole—a nice visual of Heather spreading her legs for a no-strings-attached relationship with some guy who’s not you. That came back to bite you in the ass, didn’t it?
“I see,” I said.
“I’m sure you had lots of those after the divorce? Sex-with-no-strings relationships?”
Is she fucking with me? Or is she seriously considering boning this guy?
“A couple,” I answered. “But I don’t prefer them. In my experience, if a woman likes you and tells you she doesn’t want anything more than a hookup, she’s lying. Even those relationships eventually turn into something else. I’ve had so-called no-strings relationships that turned out to be hardly that. It’s a bit of a catch-22, though, because any woman I don’t want more than sex with is probably not worth my time anyway. Maybe it comes with age, but I need to feel something more than just physical attraction to truly enjoy being with someone.”
Her face turned red. “Have you been with anyone since you’ve been here?”
“I think you know the answer to that. You’ve seen me almost every night.”
“I guess that’s true. And I intercepted the one whore who wanted to change that.”
“There was nothing to intercept, because as I’ve told you before, she’s not my type.”
She cocked her head. “So, what is your type, then?”
I wanted to tell her the truth, that lately I only had one type, and that was Heather Chadwick—beautiful, young, wide-eyed, honest Heather Chadwick, whom I wanted to protect with every ounce of my soul as much as I wanted to taint her.
“I don’t have a type.”
“You just said Kira wasn’t your type. That means you have a type.”
Shit.
I did say that, didn’t I? I was losing my mind, and I knew exactly why.
“I don’t know what my type is…but I know what my type is not. Her.”
“Okay, fair enough.”
I’d thought she was done with her inquisition, but then she asked, “So, you haven’t been with anyone in a while?”
“That’s an interesting way of asking me the last time I had sex.”
Her cheeks pinked. “You don’t have to tell me.”
She’s fucking adorable. And nosy.
It felt like forever. I actually had to think about it. “May.”
“So the month before you came here...”
“Yes.”
“Who was she?”
“It wasn’t anything serious. Just someone—”
“Someone you fuck.”
Jesus Christ. Hearing her say that word made my dick go rigid. I hoped to God she didn’t say it again. At the same time, I wanted her to say it again.
“I haven’t had a serious relationship since the divorce. She was someone I thought I had an understanding with, but like I said, in my experience, that’s a slippery slope. She started to expect more from me. It’s hard to find someone who’s not interested in something more.”
“Because the women end up falling for you.”
“Or just wanting more, yeah.”
“They fall in love with you, Noah,” she said matter-of-factly.
She could see right through me.
I needed to change the subject, but I was curious about her, too. This might be my only opportunity to bring it up. Fuck it.
“Since you’ve given me the third degree, I think it’s only fair I return the favor. What about you?”
“I’ve only had sex with Eric.”
Wow. Given how sexually charged she was, that kind of surprised me. But I suspected she wasn’t the type of girl who gave it up to anyone if her heart wasn’t in it—which was why I wasn’t sure I believed her little sex-with-no-strings act at all.
“So it’s been a long time.”