She put her hand on her chest. “Oh my God. You scared the shit out of me.”
I held my hand over my forehead to block the sunlight. “I scared you? Get down! Are you crazy?”
“Why?”
“Because you could fall. Why are you up there?” I swallowed, terrified of her answer.
“It’s an exposure exercise,” she said.
“What? What the hell are you talking about?”
“I have a massive fear of heights. I’ve been listening to this podcast on facing your fears, and the doctor says to overcome any fear, you have to challenge yourself, expose yourself to it. I decided to climb up here and experience the fear for a bit, to habituate to it.”
My mouth hung open. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard, especially when you can fall and break your neck in the process.”
She crossed her arms and looked down at me. “What did you think I was doing up here?” After a moment, her face changed. “Oh my God, Noah. You didn’t think I was going to jump?”
I let out a long breath as my heartbeat started to return to normal. “I don’t know what I thought. But what in God’s name else would someone be doing up on the roof, standing there and looking down at the ground?”
“I can’t believe you thought I was going to off myself. What—did you think your rejection last night put me over the edge?” She started to laugh.
As sick as it was under the circumstances, I was happy to hear her joking about last night. I’d been worried I’d hurt her.
“You do realize this is the second botched attempt at saving my life you’ve had since your arrival, right?” she shouted down.
I shook my head and couldn’t help but laugh.
She climbed carefully down the ladder and walked over to stand in front of me.
“You’re insane, you know that?” I said. “You scared me. I’m not gonna lie. But now I see how ridiculous the whole thing is.”
Her face turned serious. “Do you really think I could do that to my mother after what happened to my sister?”
That question hurt my chest. “I wasn’t thinking. I saw you up there, and I freaked out for a second. I had no idea what you were doing.”
She reached out to pinch my cheek, letting her hand rest a bit on my face. “It’s cute that you cared.”
My body went rigid at her touch. I was way too aware of the fact that it was the first time I’d felt her hands on me.
“You headed into work?” I asked, trying to shake off this weird experience.
“No…ugh, I actually took the night off.”
“Good. You deserve a break. Going anywhere?”
She looked down at her feet for a moment. “Eric is picking me up.”
My stomach sank. The asshole ex is taking her out?
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I decided to have dinner with him, to at least hear him out.”
I knew I should stay out of it, but...
“You really think he deserves that?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re allegedly the more mature one here. You tell me. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?”
“A man who fucks around on his woman doesn’t deserve jack shit. He’s a coward.”
“Did you cheat on your wife?”
This girl did not hold back.
“No, not physically. But there are other ways to hurt someone.”
“Like how? Give me an example.”
“Well, you can want something else. That’s not quite the same as cheating, but in a sense, it’s a form of betrayal.”
“So you emotionally cheated on your wife?”
“I didn’t say that. But the mere desire for something outside of your marriage—whether that be another person or another life altogether—that can be like a betrayal. You have to know how to walk away when it gets to that point—before you hurt the person.”
“And that’s what you did.”
I hesitated. “Yes. Basically.”
“How did we go from you trying to save me from jumping off the roof to talking about your personal life?”
“This seems to be the way with you. One second I’m getting involved in your asinine shit, the next you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.”
She laughed. “Then it ends with me running home with my tail between my legs.”
That made me chuckle. “Sounds about right.”
“I’ll take your advice on Eric into consideration,” she said as she suddenly headed back toward the house.
I forced my eyes to the ground when I caught them lingering on her ass as she walked away.
“Stay safe,” I called out.
***
It was past midnight, and she hadn’t come home yet. I knew I should’ve just gone to bed and minded my own damn business, but my butt seemed glued to the porch. I told myself I needed to make sure she got home safely, and then I’d call it a night.
But with each passing minute, I became more convinced she’d decided to spend the night with him. Could I really blame her? It wasn’t like I was giving her horny little ass what she’d asked me for. That meant she was going to get it from somewhere else, whether I liked it or not. I just wished it wasn’t with an undeserving asshole who’d already hurt her.
A flash of light appeared from down the gravel road leading to Heather’s house. I stood up to get a look and realized it was the same red Civic that had picked her up earlier.
I watched as he let her out.
When the car took off, she hadn’t moved from the front steps. I struggled to see in the darkness, but thanks to an overhead light on her porch, I could make out her shoulders rising and falling. Her head was in her hands as she sank to sit on the step.
She was crying.
Fuck.
What did he do to her?
My blood was pumping.
Against my better judgment, I felt my feet moving, one in front of the other, as if they were going with or without my approval to the main house.
“Hey,” I called. “Are you alright?”
She jumped. “You scared me.”
“Second time today I did that.”
She wiped her eyes. “I know.”
“I was out on my porch having a smoke, and I saw you with your head down.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“What happened?”
She shook her head. “I’m not crying because he hurt me. I’m crying because I found the strength to turn him down when I was feeling weak. In the midst of my vulnerability, I found my self-worth. And it feels really good. These aren’t sad tears.” She sniffled. “You were right. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Even if he never cheated on me again, I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eyes and fully trust him. Ever. I deserve better.”
Damn.
Good girl.
“I’m proud of you.”
I took a seat next to her on the steps.
She turned to look at me. “I’m sorry for putting you in an uncomfortable position last night. I don’t know what came over me.”
I hadn’t expected her to bring that up.
“Don’t even think about apologizing. There’s nothing to apologize for. You were being forthright, and I admire your honesty. That’s why I owe you the very same.”
This was my opportunity to explain myself, so I took a deep breath in. “I need you to know that my turning you down has nothing to do with you. I’m wrong for you in so many ways, and knowing that, I can’t take advantage of the situation—no matter how tempting it might be.”
“Rejection stings,” she said. “But I don’t regret saying those things because I would never know how you feel otherwise. Now I do. You don’t have to worry about me doing something like that again. I only have to be told once—or twice. The bottom line is, I heard it loud and clear. I won’t be coming onto you again.”
“I don’t know…are sure you can resist?” I winked.
“I can manage.” She laughed and wiped the remnants of her tears. “Can we be friends?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
The tension in the air was thick, but at least she didn’t seem mad.
She looked up at the sky and yawned. “I’m tired, but I’m totally wired at the same time. I won’t be able to sleep. Will you stay up with me for a little bit?”
Considering everything she’d just told me, that seemed innocent enough.
“Sure.”
I liked hanging out with Heather.
“Did you end up eating the bread?” she asked.
I laughed. “No…but I’m pretty sure it’s stale by now.”