As the first flakes of snow begin to fall from the sky, I look out across the cold steppes with more comfort than I would usually feel at this time of year. When I work my way around the hide that partially covers the entrance to our cave, I see the reason why and smile.
Beh makes quiet, rhythmic sounds as she stirs cooked grains, cattail roots, and rabbit meat together in one of her clay pots. She has made another one, a larger one, and it lies in the coals of the fire just outside the cave. With the hide on a stick, we dragged back the large pot from the lake, and Beh bathed me, using warm water heated in a clay pot over a fire. That way, Beh can wash both of us off without freezing me half to death in the process. With Beh’s firemaker, it is easy to have a fire anywhere we go, even down by the lake.
I have no idea why my mate likes washing so much or why she pushes me to do it as well, but it seems to make her happy. When my mate is happy, she smiles and lies down in our furs at night with her legs spread as I take her slowly, filling her with my seed to start a child.
Beh calls out to me, and I turn from the darkening sky and move back inside. She holds one of her clay bowls up to show me our food is ready to be eaten. I look around the cave and marvel at how much we have gathered over recent days using the fires by the lake to quickly dry fish and rabbit as well as using the hide on a stick to return far more than we could carry on our own. There are clay containers and wrapped hides full of food, enough to take us through the winter even if we already had a handful of children. There almost isn’t even enough room for it all. The stacks of grains, dried meat, and hides are encroaching on the cave’s living space.
Beh calls me again, bringing me from my thoughts.
My heart beats faster just looking at her.
I go to her and kneel beside her for a moment before I lay down on my side and place my head in her lap. Sometimes I prefer just having her scent all around me to the meals she makes. I roll to look up at her and am graced with her smile and her fingers on my cheek. I also notice that she has discarded the leather ties around her waist and between her legs that catch her blood and again wears the little pink cloth instead.
I hope she has no more bleeding times. I tell myself the reason for my thoughts is because I want her to get round with a baby growing in her, but I also don’t like it when she pushes me away when she has her bleeding time. My mate likes everything to be clean and dry, and putting my penis in her while she is bleeding is clearly not an option.
There are other times, though, even when she is not bleeding, that she still refuses to let me put a baby in her. I think maybe she is tired on those days since we have gotten so much of the work done for winter, but there are other days where the hard work doesn’t seem to bother her. There was also a day when she didn’t let me touch her, and I just kept her inside with me all day and brought her everything she needed.
She still would not let me try to put a baby inside of her. Not even a little bit.
I reach up and run the backs of my fingers over her cheek. I can feel my own heart starting to beat faster in my chest as I wonder if she will receive me tonight—if this would be the time a baby starts growing inside of her. I turn my head to kiss her thigh, eliciting a giggle from my mate.
“Kiss?” Beh smiles down at me.
“Khizz!” I sit up so I can reach her better and place my lips over hers. Placing my hands on either side of her head, I warm her lips with mine. She has definitely been sampling our meal, and I can taste it on her tongue.
Beh’s hands trail up my back and grip my shoulders. I continue to run my lips over hers as my hand slides down her neck and over her breast. When I seek out the opening to her fur, she pushes my hand away and makes some sounds. Reaching around me, she brings back a bowl full of food and places it in my hands.
I sigh and take the bowl with a pout. I am hungry, if I am to admit it to myself, but I would rather hold Beh in my arms and maybe choose to return to the furs early this night—just to avoid the cold, of course. As I tip the bowl into my mouth, I feel Beh’s soft fingers pushing a strand of my hair off my face and around my ear.
It tickles.
I reach over and do the same to her, winding a long strand of her soft hair around the curve of her ear. I follow the strand all the way down her shoulder and back with my fingers until I reach the end. Beh smiles and I can see her cheeks turn red in the firelight as she glances away. I scoot a little closer to her, abandoning the bowl to the side as I reach up and push more of her hair away from her face and off her shoulder.
She reaches out and does the same to me again.