I turn my body, wincing and groaning as I let the pain take over for a second. “What’s that got to do with a monkey?”
He smiles at me and his dark eyes soften for a moment. He’s older than JD, that’s clear. He’s got some worry lines around his eyes. And he’s got a look that makes me feel like he’s in control of things. Maybe everything. “They thought it was still in the zoo, so they were telling all the patrons to keep an eye out that day. Like a public service announcement. They’d stand at all the intersecting paths leading to various animals, and talk about the missing golden monkey. They were desperate to catch it. If it got out of that park, it’d probably get hit by a car on Colorado Boulevard, or snatched up to be sold as a pet.”
I eye him, wondering if they found and sold the monkey.
He smiles again, like he knows what I’m thinking. “But it didn’t get out of the park. And JD, me, and the girl we were filming were the ones to actually find the golden monkey.”
“Where was it?”
His smile stops and his expression becomes sad. “Just sitting in a tree. It was closing time and even though we are scum for filming a girl sucking off JD at a family park, at least we did it late at night. So when I looked up and saw it, it was illuminated in one of those yellowish sodium lamps they use all over the city to try to cut down on light pollution. So it was…” He stops. Like he’s thinking. Like he’s picturing that golden monkey right now. Seeing it again. “It was like a halo around its head.”
“Was it beautiful?”
“No, Blue. The monkey was sick, I guess. It escaped while being transported to the medical facility and that’s how it got away and we found it in that tree.”
“Oh.”
“They said she had cancer and they were taking her to be euthanized, because they felt she was in a lot of pain.”
My attention on his story is rapt. I cannot look away even if I wanted to. “What did you say?”
“What do you think I said?” His eyes search mine for a moment. And then he breathes out a long breath. “They said she was not worth saving. The treatment would be long and the odds were not good. It was expensive.” He shrugs. “So JD and I adopted the golden monkey. We donated a hundred thousand dollars to save her and buy some new machine they needed for… something. I don’t know what.”
“Did she live?”
“Well, first they had to catch her. She was up in a tree. She was in pain. She was not at all interested in coming down. No amount of food could coax her. They had a net and they had her keeper calling to her. But she just clung to that branch high up in the tree for dear life.”
He looks at me and his expression softens again. I have a bad feeling about this story. “She died, didn’t she?”
“She came down, but not until the sun came up. She climbed down. So very slowly. She was in a lot of pain. But she came down and she wrapped her little monkey hands around that handler’s arm and… gave in.”
“She died,” I say without emotion.
“No, Blue. She gave in to us.”
I can’t breathe.
“She gave in to what we were offering. She let us help her. And yeah, it involved a lot of things that made her sick, and uncomfortable, and probably wishing she was dead. But she trusted us to save her.”
“Did you? Save her?”
“She’s still alive today. No one thought she’d make it. And fuck, after the first night, JD and I were kicking ourselves for offering up that money. We had it, but money was new for us back then. We were pulling it in, and the payoffs were big. But it still felt like a dream. Like it wasn’t real. So the money meant more back then than it does now.”
“That just means it was a bigger sacrifice to give it over.”
He nods. “Yeah. I know. But even though it’s not such a risk for us to help like that now, it’s still a genuine offer.”
“We’re not talking about a monkey, are we?”
He shrugs.
“You made that all up, didn’t you?”
“Her name is Ophelia. I’ll take you to see her one day.”
“Why are you helping me?”
“Why do you need help?”
I shake my head at him.
“Well, when you can admit that to me, I’ll tell you why we’re helping you.”
And then he throws the covers off and swings his legs out of bed. He’s naked, as am I, but after that conversation it feels… different. I watch him walk around the bed, turning my body to see him as he comes over to the other side and picks up his pants. His dick is erect and he looks at me as he handles it, tucking it inside his jeans, but only drawing up the zipper halfway and leaving the button undone. “You’re not the monkey in that story, Blue. JD is.”
And then he walks out of the bedroom, leaving me alone. And even though five minutes ago, all I wanted was for these two strange men to let me work out my conflicted thoughts on my own, I feel lonely.
And a little while later, as I work up my courage to get up and go talk to the man who told me a story, the man who wants me to tell him one, the front door slams again.
I guess wishes do come true.
I stop by a boutique on the mall and chat up the salesgirl about some clothes for Blue and then head over to the bus station.
It always comes back to the bus station. I’m not sure why I look here first when I need to find JD, but this is where I end up. I sit on the concrete wall where he was sitting that night I got off the bus. High on something. Starving. Talking to a girl who wasn’t there.
JD the junkie.
Lots of people have asked me over the years why. Why him?
But why not him? Why only help people who are good candidates? Why bother saving the dying monkey when there are so many more deserving animals?
What does deserving even mean?