Chapter Eleven
Pretending
I was pretending.
Indeed, I’d been pretending all day.
I’d started my pretending by not setting the alarm. This meant Jake woke me up again that morning. But this time he didn’t sit on the bed and tickle my nose with a lock of my hair.
Instead, he’d bent over me, shifted the hair off my neck and trailed a finger down my jaw, murmuring, “Wake up, sleepyhead.”
His touch and his voice warmed me even more than the downy covers over me and I’d opened my eyes, this making Jake the first thing I saw for two mornings in a row.
This being something I knew with ridiculous certainty at that point in our acquaintance I wanted every single day for the rest of my life.
“You hit snooze or forget to set your alarm?” he asked softly.
“I forgot,” I lied.
He grinned.
Then, alas, he straightened and said, “Clothes in the bag. I’ll do coffee.” He’d tipped his head to the armchair in the corner telling me where the clothes where. Then, without delay, he left my room.
It was regrettable he was leaving. Still, I got to take in his electric blue workout shirt spread across his broad shoulders as he did so, therefore the view was outstanding.
Mickey showed that morning at the gym as he told me he would do the night before.
But even though Mickey made it clear he wished to approach, Jake stuck by my side like glue during our workout. He did this acting like a drill sergeant while I punched and kicked the bag as he instructed (this time with my hands taped which made me feel oddly less of an impostor, not to mention Jake taping my hands expertly was quite a sight to see and feeling to feel).
Thus, Jake gave neither Mickey nor I an opening other than to smile at each other, me to wave and Mickey to lift his chin to me.
When we were done, Jake whisked me out of the gym saying I had to get to the Weavers and he had “shit to do.” He did this while Mickey had his back to us, working a punching bag, so he didn’t even see us go.
After that, Jake took me home. He again took me inside, I got another kiss on the cheek (close to my lips) and a ponytail tug as Jake reminded me of our plans and the timing of them for the evening.
Before he left, I also got Amber’s mobile number and I’d texted her to see if she’d like to join Ethan and me at the mall after school.
It took her an hour to reply but she’d politely excused the tardiness of it by saying she was in class, which I found gratifying, as politeness wasn’t Amber’s strong suit, not to mention, she shouldn’t be texting while in class. She went on to take me up on my offer and she did this exuberantly (yes, even via text).
Thus, I was able to continue pretending that my life included Jake Spear and his family.
I did this by taking Amber and Ethan to the mall directly after school, Amber meeting us at Lavender House in her car before we went.
I learned during this experience that Ethan might enjoy cooking but he did not enjoy shopping. As we had a list of specific cosmetics to buy and I knew what suited me even before I tried it on (I still tried them on), our forays in the women’s athletics store as well as at the cosmetics counter were short. Even so, Ethan still vociferously shared that he was not enjoying himself.
The only time he seemed placated was when he declared he was starving and I’d purchased an enormous soda for him along with a big bag of soft pretzel bites that included a tub of liquid cheese that was an alarming orange color. Nevertheless, Ethan found it delicious and I knew this because the entirety of this rather large snack was gone within five minutes.
We got him home and Amber and I sat at the kitchen table with a hand mirror as she tried out one of the looks Jean-Michel suggested. Watching her do it, I found she was quite adept with the brushes I bought her and, in the end, we were both pleased with the results.
Me specifically.
She was lovely normally.
Made up like that, she was beautiful and I didn’t hesitate to tell her this. Then I made a note never to hesitate to share things such as that with her because the look on her face was very much worth the energy it took to utter the words.
However, during this, I learned that Ethan was not a fan of “girl stuff” on the whole. I learned this as he shared it in disgust, staring at the cosmetics and brushes on the kitchen table. This he did before he took himself off to watch TV.
This he did with me smiling at him, for even when he was disgusted, he was endearing.
Shortly after, Jake arrived to take us to dinner and then the game.
And I kept pretending when he took one look at his daughter made up in a soft, subdued, romantic palette of colors.
And what I was pretending was that he was mine and in doing so, I daydreamed a variety of ways I would reward him for what he did with Amber when he saw her.
This was catch her chin with his fingers and let his eyes roam over her face.
They finally caught hers and he said quietly, “Jesus, honey. Knew you were beautiful. Didn’t know how much of that beauty you were hidin’ until just now.”
It was then I watched Amber’s face change, turn radiant with a hint of hopeful and I felt a lovely feeling gather tight around my heart as she smiled at her father.
He bent in and kissed her cheek and that feeling around my heart tightened brilliantly.
When Jake let her go, she turned her smile to me and said, “Thanks, Josie.”
“It was my pleasure, lovely girl,” I replied.
She kept smiling when she declared to both her dad and me, “Gotta get to the Taylors. Later.”
“Later, babe,” Jake returned.
“Have fun tonight, Amber,” I said.
She grinned at me then turned her head toward the family room and yelled, “Later, runt!” to her brother.
“Don’t call me runt!” Ethan yelled back.
I smiled at Jake when he did.
Jake returned my smile but his wasn’t about the engaging way his children teased each other. His smile was different, deeper, filled with gratitude and something else I didn’t completely understand but knew was meaningful in a way that was gravely important and also very good.
It said he liked the way his daughter looked. Very much so.
And he liked that I gave her that.
Very much so.
And I liked that.
Very much so.
Not only for Jake, but for Amber.
Feeling the lovely feeling Jake’s smile gave to me, I kept pretending when he took us to Weatherby’s Diner in Magdalene for dinner. I pretended I belonged to him and Ethan as we walked in, Jake’s hand holding mine. I pretended that the looks we got were looks I deserved, the women’s eyes going to Jake then going to his hand clasping mine and turning despondent.
I continued pretending when Jake slid in the booth beside me.
I kept at it when he slid his arm across the back of the booth, fantasizing this was done in an act of not only affection but also possession when it was more likely that he was a big man and it was simply more comfortable for him to spread out in this manner.
Even knowing this, I didn’t let go the fantasy. I was enjoying it too much.
And it was the only thing I’d ever get.
Therefore, I carried on pretending when we left the diner and Jake drove us to the high school football field as Ethan chattered animatedly (something he also did during dinner making Jake and my participation in our dinner conversation mostly responding to Ethan or smiling at him because we couldn’t get a word in edgewise).
Combat Raptor was the main topic, his enthusiasm that his wait was finally over as well as an in-depth description of the characters and actors who played them and how he felt about all of that.
I continued to pretend when Jake again took my hand at his truck and we walked through the parking lot and into the stadium.
I persisted in doing it as we made our way to our seats and more glances came our way. Some from people I didn’t know but Jake did and he lifted his chin to them. Some from people I’d made the acquaintance of and I smiled at them or gave them a brief wave. And then there were the others, from men who looked at me then to Jake and their faces closed down. The women who did the opposite but with the same final reaction.
I enjoyed doing it so much I got lost in it when Jake choose our seats and I stood in the bleachers watching him spread a thick woolen blanket across the metal bench. But before he did this, he shook something from the blanket. And once the blanket was arranged, before we sat on it, he turned to me.
I held my breath as he wrapped a long maroon wool knit scarf around my neck and tied it at my throat, doing this murmuring, “Gotta keep my girl warm.”
His girl.
Oh, how I wished.
The night was chill and overcast and Jake had remembered my scarf that morning we had breakfast at The Shack.
Oh yes.
How I wished.
Even though the scarf didn’t quite match my outfit.
I was forcing myself to breathe when he lifted his eyes to mine as he lifted a hand to my jaw and informed me, “Lydie knitted that for me three Christmases ago.”
Gran had made it for him.
The soft wool at my neck got warmer and instantly I felt my eyes get wet.
I said nothing mostly because I couldn’t.
Jake didn’t miss it and I knew it when he bent slightly toward me and stated, “Looks good on you, baby. But it bein’ from Lydie, I’ll want to keep it close.”
I nodded and forced out, “Of course.”
His smile was slight—it simply tipped up his lips and softened his eyes.
But it was beautiful.
So beautiful, I leaned into him. When I did, his eyes changed completely. They went from soft and warm to intense and something else.
Something that looked darker.
Heated.
Even more beautiful.
I was trying to understand that reaction when Ethan broke the moment, crying loudly, “Dad! There’s Josh and Bryant! Can I hang with them?”
For a moment, Jake’s gaze held mine captive even as the pads of his fingers dug into my jaw.
Then he unfortunately dropped his hand and turned to his son.
“Not out of my sight, bud,” he ordered.
“Got it,” Ethan confirmed, jumped on the empty bench in front of us and dashed along it to the steps. He raced down the steps to two boys who were standing by the fence by the field.
“Sit, Slick,” Jake invited.
I looked from Ethan to him and I sat.
He sat next to me, curved an arm around my waist and pulled me the mere inches that separated us so that we were hip to hip, thigh to thigh.
Oh.
My.
I took in a trembling breath and looked about the space.
The field was bare as were the player’s benches. The away crowd bleachers were filling up fast but not as fast as the home crowd’s section around us. There was a lot of yellow and blue, which I knew were the school colors.
I saw the cheerleaders milling about behind the team bench, preparing for their work that evening. The air was very chilly and the spectators were suited up to battle the chill in hats, scarves, heavy parkas and jackets and even gloves. And there were many children and young adults about, the young adults not nearly as prepared to face the cold evening, as it was clear they preferred their peers to see their fashion selections and not to cover them with heavy coats that would keep them warm.
It was then it occurred to me that the last sporting event I attended was a football game at my own high school decades ago.
And it also occurred to me that back then for a brief period of time, I’d loved football.
My clandestine boyfriend Andy played thus I never missed a game. I never even missed a play. I was enthralled by watching him on the field. And I looked forward every Friday night to going to the game with my girlfriends, watching my boyfriend play football then sneaking in a date with him after, and after that, sneaking in kissing him for as long as we could do it before it became too dangerous to continue and we’d have to stop so I could get home.
I’d been happy then.
I’d been normal then.
I didn’t have to pretend.
I had it all.
And then my father took it all away.
“You good?”
Jake’s voice pulled me from my maudlin thoughts and I looked to hm.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Warm enough?” he went on.
“Indeed, Jake.” I quieted my voice when I said with feeling, “Thank you for the scarf.”
I got the slight smile with soft eyes before he carried on, “Can you see okay?”
He was so very kind, considerate…amazing.
I nodded.
“Good,” he murmured, looking to the field and giving me a squeeze, which pressed me even deeper to his side.
I wanted to keep pretending. I really did. And how I wanted to do that was to press even closer. Put my head on his shoulder. Wrap my arm around his back and hold him to me too. Even wrap both my arms around him, stomach and back, keeping him close.
But I couldn’t keep pretending.
And further, I had to find a restroom.
“Before things start, I need to use the facilities,” I told his profile and got his eyes, which were now not softly smiling but openly doing it, as was his mouth.
“Right, Slick. The facilities are behind the concession stand, south end of the field,” he informed me, tipping his head to the left.
“Thanks, Jake,” I murmured. “I’ll be back.”
“You got time. Game doesn’t start for fifteen minutes,” he told me as I stood but he carried on. “Sayin’ that, hurry.”
I looked down at him to see him looking in the vicinity of my behind in my jeans exposed by my gray suede jacket before his eyes drifted up and caught mine and they were still smiling.
“I’ll hurry,” I assured him then I did just that.
I hurried.
Or, at least I started out hurrying.
After I washed my hands and left the restrooms, I mentally shook myself from the fantasy world I’d allowed myself to live in all day.
It was pleasant being there and it was lovely giving myself that but I couldn’t stay there for long. I had to remember how things were. If I stayed in that world too long, I knew I’d eventually get a reminder that it wasn’t mine and the pain that would cause would be harder to overcome the longer I allowed myself to pretend.
On this thought, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked right to see Conner standing under a light pole some distance away from the bleachers but also not close to the concession stand.
He was standing with a flaxen-haired girl who was quite curvy, quite tall and very attractive. I also liked the way that it didn’t seem she cared what people thought of her attire. She was trussed up warm but she’d managed to do it fashionably with a thick loosely woven oyster-colored scarf around her neck and a dusky pink corduroy jacket. She was even wearing a cute pair of mittens.
She was also standing close to Conner, looking up at him and smiling in an appealing way that was genuine if a little timid.
She must be Ellie and just seeing her made me agree further with Ethan that I hoped Conner chose her in the end.
Jake’s eldest must have sensed my eyes for his came to me; he grinned and jerked up his chin. Ellie looked my way and as she did so, slid slightly closer to Conner who took that opportunity to curve his arm around her shoulders.
Yes, they looked lovely together.
I gave them a wave and a smile and decided not to approach. This was a high school football game and he was with his girl (or one of them). He didn’t need an adult intruding.
But as I moved away, I took in the lines standing in front of the concession stand. I also noted that the game had not started although the players had taken the field and were warming up. And finally, it occurred to me that hot drinks might warm Jake and me from the inside.
Therefore, I moved to the back of the somewhat long line, pulled my phone out of my purse and called him.
He answered with, “You get lost?”
I laughed softly and replied, “No, Jake. But I’m in line at the concession stand. I thought we could use a hot beverage. Would you like a coffee or cocoa?”
“I’ll meet you there.”
So.
Very.
Amazing.
“Jake, I can handle a few drinks. What do you want?”
“I’ll be there in a minute and I’ll get it.”
“Jake,” I said softly. “You bought dinner at The Eaves, and our omelets, and dinner tonight. In return, the least I can do is purchase two beverages and carry them back to the bleachers. Further, if you leave our seats, we might lose them.”
“The blanket’s here,” was his reply and at hearing it, I burst out laughing.
Yes.
So.
Very.
Amazing.
When I stopped laughing, I asked, “You’re quite determined to take care of me, aren’t you?”
His voice was low in a way my stomach dipped when he returned, “Glad you noticed.”
I couldn’t not notice, and with the way he behaved, I was finding it hard not to pretend.
My voice was just above a whisper when I requested, “Please let me buy you a drink.”
“Hot chocolate,” he finally ordered and I smiled into the phone.
“For Ethan?” I asked.
“Ethan’s got ten bucks. He wants something, he’ll get it. But it won’t be hot chocolate. It’ll be a load of crap.”
I was still smiling when I replied, “All right,” then moved the two centimeters forward that the line had moved. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Later, Slick.”
“Later, Jake.”
I rang off at the same time I became aware that the young man in front of me was staring at me openly, his lips parted.
As I became aware of this, I noted that he was somewhat short, very slim, obviously effeminate and he was wearing a daring pair of houndstooth trousers. He’d accompanied these with a rather stylish pair of black suede loafers and a black turtleneck sweater.
The ensemble could use a fedora as a finishing touch but regardless of that assessment, I was taken with his flair for fashion.
“Hello,” I said when he continued to stare at me in apparent astonishment.
“You’re Josie,” he informed me of a truth that was nevertheless surprising that he knew.
“Indeed I am,” I confirmed. “And you are?”
He stuck his hand out. “Taylor. I’m Amber’s bestest bestie. Or one of them.”
Ah.
The Jean-Michel devotee.
This explained the trousers and the loafers.
I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Delighted to meet you, Taylor. Amber’s spoken of you.”
He squeezed my hand back and let it go, saying, “She’s spoken of you too, like lots. She thinks you’re the bomb.”
I had learned this was good and I knew it felt good so I smiled.
Then I shared, “Your ensemble is very fashion forward and you carry it off with aplomb. However, it needs a fedora.”
His face lit up, he leaned in and exclaimed, “I know! Right?” He leaned back and smiled, finishing, “But not sure I could pull off a fedora at a Magdalene High game. I’ll be lucky I don’t get tripped, pushed or run down before the night is through just wearing these trousers.”
He waved a hand to his lower body but I felt my brows draw together.
“And why would you get tripped, pushed or run down?” I asked.
“Uh…I’m a seventeen year old gay guy wearing houndstooth at a high school football game?” he asked back as an answer.
Ah.
That certainly answered that.
“I see,” I murmured. “Well, I wish I had some sage advice for you, young Taylor, but alas, I don’t. Small-minded fools are everywhere and those with the courage to be who they are often have to suffer them. It’s your lot, I’m afraid. But at least you can rest in the knowledge that you are true to yourself knowing they live in a narrow world, a narrow world is a barren world while yours is vibrant, and that’s their lot.”
When I finished speaking, he was staring up at me again with his lips parted, astonishment awash in his features and I was just about to say something (such as that he should move forward the seven centimeters the line had moved) when I felt others joining the line at my back.
They were talking. They were also boys.
And what they were discussing gained the entirety of my attention.
“You totally looked through Amber like she wasn’t even there,” a boy said.
I blinked as I watched Taylor’s eyes get very wide.
“She looks good tonight. Real good. Somethin’ different about her face,” another boy mumbled.
“You done with her?” a further one asked.
“Bitch has got to toe the line,” a fourth one with a very deep voice declared. “Don’t dig teases. Amber Spear is a total tease. All that hair. Short skirts. But I got my hands on her and she won’t let me get one up that skirt? F*ck that.”
My back went straight and I watched Taylor’s face pale.
“And her dad’s a pain in my ass,” the fourth one with the deep voice concluded.
“You’re just shit scared of him ‘cause Spear could kick your ass, even if he’s an old guy,” one of the other voices said.
Excuse me?
Jake was not old.
Actually, I had no idea of his age but I knew he wasn’t old. I knew this because I’d seen him work out.
“Whatever,” the deepest voice went on. “He won’t let her go to Boston to see Bounce with us. I mean seriously? What’s up with that? That’s f*cked up. Chelsea and Brooke are goin’ and their parents don’t give a f*ck.”
The concert Amber wanted to see was Bounce.
At that point, I wished she’d informed me of that.
And two second later, after the one with the deep voice said what he said next, I made a split-second decision and, rather foolishly, sallied forth acting on it.
“Thought I’d get in there, pop that. She’s hot but if Amber likes her cherry that much, she can keep it.”
I saw Taylor snap his mouth closed and his jaw get tight but that was all I saw before I whirled.
Behind me, there were four boys. All tall. All relatively good-looking. The tallest and far best looking one was an African-American young man.
I knew instinctively he was Noah.
I could see Amber wanting him.
But she wasn’t going to get him.
Or, more aptly, he was not going to get her.
“Are you Noah?” I asked.
He smiled slowly; an appealing white smile and I knew he thought I’d heard of him as he was a high school big man basketball player.
Upon his smile, he replied, “Yeah. I’m Noah Young.”
I nodded. “Well, Noah Young, you should know that Amber is not going to the concert with you because she and the Taylors are going with me. Lavon doesn’t like an extortionate amount of people backstage and Amber preferred to give the backstage passes I could acquire for her to her bestest besties. And apparently, you aren’t one of them,” I lied.
Or, more aptly, I lied right then.
I’d need to speak with Lavon’s people to make it a truth.
Lavon Burkett was the front man for Bounce. Henry had directed four videos for the band. Lavon thought the world of Henry and, by extension, me. He’d give me as many backstage passes as I wanted, even if it was true that he didn’t like to socialize with a vast amount of people after a show. He liked me enough to do whatever I asked as he was very generous with his friends. I knew this when he sent me a fabulous flower arrangement after I’d set up the arrangements of his first video, a magnum of champagne after the second, the original sheet framed of lyrics he’s jotted down to my favorite Bounce song the third and a pair of diamond stud earrings the last.
Noah Young was blinking at me but I was far from done.
“As for your assertion that Amber is a tease, she isn’t. She just isn’t that into you.”
This was, of course, an outright lie and I heard a gurgling noise come from Taylor behind me perhaps exposing my perfidy.
Nevertheless, I persevered.
“Although she recognizes you’re quite good-looking, she also doesn’t feel you respect her very much and is having issues with that, wondering if you will eventually toe the line. But alas, from your comments tonight, it seems you won’t.”
I held his eyes and lowered my voice.
“You see, a woman who knows herself and her worth knows that her time is valuable and her heart is precious. She doesn’t give either to a man who can’t respect the gifts he’s being offered.”
Noah kept blinking and I raised my voice slightly as I finished.
“And anyway, she’s been Skypeing Julian. I introduced them online. He’s French Canadian and I believe he’s doing a fashion shoot in Fiji at the moment but he’ll be back in New York next week. He’s quite the outdoors type, even if he’s a model, and he’s keen to come and meet Amber as well as see Maine. I’m sure Amber will enjoy showing her home state to him when he arrives.”
This was all a lie too, of course, but that didn’t stop me from lowering the boom as a finale.
“He’s nineteen and her father quite likes him even though Julian’s a bit older than her. This is because Julian spends a fair amount of time around very beautiful women and thus he knows how to treat them but more, he knows a quality individual when he meets one. Even if only online. So please do totally look through Amber,” I invited. “It will only save you frustration and perhaps heartbreak when she eventually understands how shallow you are, finds you tedious and cuts you loose.”
“Holy shit,” one of his compatriots muttered and that reminded me I wasn’t done.
“Just one final thing,” I began. “There are men who can carry off foul language. But they are men. When you use it, you sound absurd, like you’re desperately trying to be something you’re not. Furthermore, badmouthing a young woman when all and sundry can hear is just bad manners. Extremely bad manners. It says nothing about the young woman you’re referring to and everything about your own character. And just to say, none of that everything is good.”
On that, I turned my back to him and looked to Taylor.
“You may wish to move forward, young Taylor,” I stated. “The line has advanced.”
He tore his incredulous eyes from me and shuffled forward the twelve centimeters the line had moved.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” I heard mumbled from behind me and I felt the boys’ presence leave as the line behind them closed in and Taylor again caught my eye.
“That…was…epic,” he breathed.
Although I found “epic” an overdramatized word, I was still pleased he thought so. But now that the deed was done, I was beginning to get anxious.
For Taylor might think so but I had grave concerns Amber would not.
“Do you have your phone?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Hurry and text Amber. Tell her to come here straight away. We need to warn her that event just occurred.”
“You got it,” he muttered and dug his phone out of his back pocket.
I continued, “After you get in touch with her, you may wish to get in touch with your parents and ask them if you can attend the Bounce concert with me. Please assure them I’ll provide transport and accommodation and act as your chaperone.”
His thumbs stopped flying over the screen of his phone and he looked up at me like I was an angel fallen to earth.
He went back to his phone as I tried to breathe normally, becoming more and more worried that my intervention in Amber’s romantic life would not be well received. I continued worrying even as the line shuffled forward.
Amber finally joined us as Taylor stood beside me and I took the two hot cocoas in one hand that were in a brown cardboard holder.
Amber also had a young woman with her and I momentarily forgot my fears as I took her in.
She was very tall, at least two inches taller than Amber and I, putting her to my expert eye at five ten. She was also very slender. Her hair was a shining black sheath. Her clothing, like Taylor’s, was not suited to Magdalene High but instead suited to waltzing along the sidewalk in Manhattan on her way to meet friends for a salad even if she was in a pair of jeans, boots and an extremely well-cut leather jacket.
Her features were mixed race, Caucasian and more than likely Korean with high, rounded cheekbones, elegantly formed dark brown eyes and absolutely flawless porcelain skin.
She was stunning.
“Hey, Josie,” Amber greeted. “What’s up?”
At Amber’s voice, my fears returned and I tore my eyes away from the girl at her side and looked to her.
“We need to find some privacy, lovely girl. I need a word,” I told her.
Her face went guarded but Taylor came to my rescue.
“Totally, Amber. You gotta hear what just happened.”
Amber looked to her friend, her expression even more wary and we moved away from the concession stand to the open grassy area between it and the bleachers. We found a large patch of grass where no one was standing close and we huddled together.
“What’s going on?” Amber asked immediately.
I opened my mouth to answer but her friend spoke before me.
“By the way, I’m Taylor or, uh…the other Taylor. Amber and Taylor’s bestest bestie,” she introduced herself.
“Lovely to meet you, Taylor. I’m Josephine.”
“I know.” She smiled, her features rearranging subtly into another extraordinary view. “Amber’s makeup tonight is sick. Everyone is checking her out. It’s awesome.”
I was pleased she thought so and I smiled but I said no more as I had more pressing things on my mind.
Before I could share these, boy Taylor stated, “Girl, Noah got behind us in line at the concession stand and I don’t think he saw me because he and his posse trash talked you extreme.”
Amber’s face lost all its color as she stared at her friend.
“Don’t worry though. Josie totally laid him out,” boy Taylor went on to assure her.
Her pale face turned my way and it was clear from the look on it she was not assured.
I got closer, feeling my heart beating harder. “I’m so sorry, my lovely girl,” I said gently. “He was saying some awful things and I simply couldn’t help myself.”
“What’d he say?” she whispered.
Boy Taylor (and girl Taylor) huddled closer and boy Taylor shared quietly, “He called you a tease and said if you like your cherry so much, you can keep it.”
Pink tinged her cheeks at that even as she winced.
“What a dick,” girl Taylor decreed at this point and I looked to her to see her looking at Amber. “I so totally told you, Amber. He’s completely up his own ass.”
“He is, girlfriend,” boy Taylor agreed. “He thinks he’s all that when you’re all that and tonight with your face like it is you’re even more all that. And anyway no guy should trash talk a girl for anyone to hear or…freaking…ever. But he did and he’s so not worth putting up with this. Even if he was, he still wouldn’t be.”
“I believe this is true,” I told her, still going gently and she looked to me. “And I’m afraid I shared this with him and, perhaps, fibbed a bit,” I finished on an admission.
“You fibbed?” she asked, her voice weak as she accepted these rather vicious-to-a-teenaged-girl blows.
“Yes.”
“About what?”
I took a deep breath and on the exhale explained, “Well, I told him I was taking you and the Taylors to Bounce, which I didn’t know that was the concert you wanted to see in Boston. Since I know Lavon, I’ll be happy to do that if we can talk your father into letting you go.”
Her mouth dropped open and I looked to the girl Taylor.
“You may wish to share this with your parents. Lavon will gladly give me backstage passes should I ask, something I’ll be doing first thing tomorrow. Please assure your parents all travel arrangements and accommodation will be covered by me and I’ll be with you at all times.”
Her striking eyes were big and she asked, “You know Lavon Burkett?”
“Of course,” I murmured, but felt it imperative we return to the matter at hand.
To do so, I looked back to Amber.
“I must share that I also fibbed about the fact that you’re talking with Julian online. Julian is a model that Henry often works with. Of course, I can introduce you to Julian and make that fib true too, but I’m uncertain how your father will react to that so let’s get the concert issue dealt with first and then we’ll move on to Julian.”
Amber was now blinking up at me, clearly unable to process all that was coming her way, but before I could even attempt to reassure her, boy Taylor exclaimed, “Oh my gawd!”
“What?” girl Taylor asked.
We all looked to him to see he had his phone screen turned our way. On it was a picture of Julian emerging from the surf, fully wet, his well-defined body alluringly bronzed, wearing rather skimpy black bathing trunks, water dripping from a dark lock dangling from his forehead, an arresting yet mischievous smile on his face.
“Please tell me he’s really gay,” boy Taylor breathed.
“Alas, I can’t tell you that young Taylor, for he very much is not,” I replied.
“I’m in love,” girl Taylor whispered.
“You can introduce me to him?” Amber asked breathily.
My eyes moved to her and I saw my mistake so I moved instantly to control the situation.
“Let’s stay focused,” I urged. “First, your friends need to get permission to go to the concert and I need to discuss that with your father to make certain you can go. Second, you need to handle yourself tonight very carefully. I’ve no idea how Noah will react to my set down but he might take that out on you.”
I got closer and spoke quieter.
“You, my lovely girl, must act like you don’t care. You can take him or leave him. If he ignores you, bury any reaction you may have to it. You can talk to your friends about it or even…” I hesitated before offering, “me, if you would trust me enough to share your feelings. If he doesn’t ignore you, give him your time but not much of it. His words and behavior tonight proved he’s not worth it.”
Amber proved she had a one-track mind—that being the boy track—when to this she repeated with a jerk of her head in the direction of boy Taylor’s phone, “You can introduce me to him?”
“Amber, did you hear what I said?” I asked.
I watched her swallow, her eyes get bright and her words were trembling when she asked back, “He called me a tease?”
At the look on her face and the sound of her words, I felt my heart get heavy.
My poor girl.
I leaned into her and lifted a hand to her jaw.
Stroking her soft cheek with my thumb, I whispered, “Yes, my lovely girl. He was most ungentlemanly.”
“He acted like he liked me,” she whispered back.
“He likely does,” I told her. “He also has to show a certain face to his friends and feels he has to play his role as big man in a way that he can keep that role but has the mistaken and rather juvenile impression that doing that means gathering conquests and behaving very badly.”
She was still whispering when she told me, “But Josie, I’ve liked him since…forever.”
I pulled in another deep breath, long since gone from my high school years but remembering quite acutely what it was like to crush on a boy and have him show me the attention I so craved.
Thus, I stroked her cheek again and replied, “I think now you’re experiencing a lot of things, my lovely. And one of them is simply the fact that he does not live up to what you thought he would be. But he doesn’t. It may take some time for you to come to terms with this but the fact of the matter is it’s true. And perhaps my words tonight will penetrate in some way and he’ll look at you with different eyes. But if he does and his attention returns to you, you must not accept anything but that which is grounded not only in attraction but also respect, kindness and affection.”
“He’s the cutest guy in school,” she informed me.
“This may be true but I assure you, if you heard his words tonight, he would appear far less attractive to you, even if those words hadn’t been spoken about you,” I shared.
“That’s totally true, Amber,” boy Taylor put in at this juncture and I dropped my hand as we both looked to him. “He was totally a douche.”
“He’s always been a douche,” girl Taylor murmured.
“It’s extremely improper for me to call a young teenaged boy a douche,” I stated and everyone looked at me. “That said, Taylor is right. He was definitely a douche.”
I saw Amber’s eyes widen to extremes as both Taylors burst out laughing.
Then to my relief, I saw Amber’s eyes light as she joined them but grabbed my hand, held it and forced through her amusement, “Josie, you saying the word douche is the funniest thing I think I’ve heard in my life.”
I liked it that she was holding my hand. I liked it that she didn’t dissolve into tears at hearing what had occurred with Noah Young. I liked it that she didn’t get angry with me and cause a scene by throwing a tantrum that it was arguable, but having been a teenaged girl at one point in my life, I would weigh in that it was deserved.
Last and most important, I liked it that now she was laughing.
I stopped liking it or thinking anything when we heard a shrieked, “Seriously Conner! You think you can scrape me off?”
“Uh-oh,” Amber mumbled, her hand squeezing mine as our eyes darted to where I’d seen Conner with his girlfriend before.
He was still there, as was she. They were still standing close. But now Conner had moved the blonde girl behind him in a protective manner as a rather voluptuous (for a high school girl), relatively petite and definitely angry girl faced off against them.
“You, yeah you!” she kept shrieking and now was pointing at who I assumed was Ellie. “You think I can’t take you?”
Conner’s face was a frozen mask of anger and he took a step toward the brunette even as he shoved the blonde further behind him and it was at this that I found my feet moving without my brain telling them to do so.
They did this, taking me straight to Conner.
I felt Amber and the Taylors trailing me.
I stopped wide to the side (and Amber and the Taylors stopped with me) and looked to Conner who was looking at me.
He started, “Josie—”
“I think you need privacy with this young lady,” I said quietly and pointedly. I then turned my eyes to the blonde as well as reached a hand out to her. “Come,” I encouraged.
“Ellie,” Amber whispered close to my back.
So I was correct.
I nodded and pushed my hand further toward Ellie. “Come, Ellie. Let’s go sit, watch the game and await Conner.”
Ellie looked to Conner who was looking over his shoulder at her.
“Go,” he said gently. “Josie’ll take care of you.”
She pressed her lips together, hesitated but a moment and finally moved toward me.
“Watch your back,” the brunette hissed as she got close to me.
Ellie scuttled closer and I took her hand. Hers clasped mine surprisingly tight even though she had to have no idea who I was (outside of the fact that I was with her boyfriend’s sister).
I took her hand and moved her away, my gaze going back to Conner.
His eyes were on me. “I’ve got this, Josie.”
“Yeah, you think you do,” the brunette was still hissing. “But you don’t.”
Oh dear.
It appeared Conner had his hands full.
I moved Ellie clear of the burgeoning fray and did it quickly, Amber and the Taylors trailing.
We got well away, moved in close to the side of the bleachers, and I found us another pocket of privacy. I could tell the game had started but I could also see Ellie’s face was pale and stricken and her hand had not loosened even a smidgeon in mine.
I turned to her when we stopped and Amber and the Taylors huddled close.
“I’m Josephine,” I introduced myself.
“Yeah,” she said quietly, her voice timid, her eyes not exactly meeting mine. “Con told me about you. His dad’s new girlfriend.”
At her words, I felt shafts of fire burn through me like spears were drilling from top to toe. This feeling was painful because this feeling was hope in the face of hopelessness. It took everything I had not to focus on that feeling and instead focus on this frightened shy girl.
“I think Conner would like it if you would sit with myself and Conner’s dad. He’ll find us when he’s done with that young lady,” I told her.
She shook her head. “It won’t matter. She’ll get to me. She’s been saying at school for days she’s going to take me out.”
“Then you shouldn’t be alone,” boy Taylor stated, getting close.
“We’ll stick by you, Ellie,” Amber assured, also getting close.
“Mia’s just ticked she knows she’s not going to make the cut and you are. She’ll burn out,” girl Taylor told her, also getting close.
When she did, I sighed.
Make the cut, indeed.
Conner had weaved this tangled web. I certainly hoped he had it in him to unravel it without too much heartache.
“I think I need to sit down,” Ellie said softly.
“Let’s get her to the bleachers,” I urged and immediately moved my charges to do just that.
I found the set of stairs that were closest to our seats. I also saw Jake sitting amongst the crowd, a seat open on either side of him on the blanket, one for the absent Ethan, one for the absent me.
I let Ellie go but curled my fingers around Amber’s arm and dipped down to say in her ear, “Can you take Ellie up and ask your father to come down?”
When I pulled away, she caught my eyes and nodded.
Boy Taylor grabbed the forgotten cocoas from my other hand and they all scrambled up. They then pushed in front of the four spectators to get to Jake. I saw Amber bend down and talk to him then I saw his eyes come to me. He stood, his eyes never leaving me as he and the children shuffled around. He eased in front of the spectators then I watched as he jogged down the stairs to me.
When he got to me, I took his hand without a word and tugged him to the spot the youngsters and I had vacated earlier.
I stopped us and got close.
Thereupon, I got up on my toes to get closer and launched in.
“I have much to say and not much time,” I announced.
His brows shot up.
I sallied forth.
“I’ll explain later so you can get angry without an audience as to what prompted me to make a number of rash decisions but right now I’ll break it down. With your permission, I’ll be taking Amber and the Taylors to see Bounce in Boston whenever it is they’re playing there. I know the band and am relatively close to the front man so I can get backstage passes. I’ll chaperone them. But I want very much for Amber and her friends to have this as I’ve met Noah Young, it was not a pleasant meeting, I dislike him greatly and I wish for Amber and the Taylors to be able to rub his nose in their not only attending the concert but meeting the performers.”
Jake blinked.
I carried on.
“Conner is currently calming down a rather irate young lady who has threatened bodily harm to Ellie. Amber, the Taylors and I forged to the rescue and thus Ellie is with us awaiting Conner’s return. I would think that he may need you to intervene at some point as, for reasons unknown to me, it would seem the girls may start turning on each other rather than aiming their ire at Conner, who I imagine could take it and who arguably deserves it. It isn’t my place to say but he may need a mature guiding hand as he maneuvers the minefield toward monogamy.”
Jake said nothing. He simply stared at me.
“And, just to say,” I continued. “Amber and Noah, if they were ever officially together, have broken up. I played an, um…rather substantial hand in that, alas. It’s likely there will be some teenaged girl moods in your house for the foreseeable future. Or, uh…more of them. I’d like to apologize for that in advance.”
I stopped speaking and Jake continued to stare at me for a moment before he asked, “Jesus, Slick, how long were you gone?”
It seemed like a year.
I didn’t share this. In fact, I decided not to speak at all.
“Does Con need me now?” Jake asked into my silence.
“He says he has it,” I shared.
“Then he has it,” he muttered, looking down to his boots.
I got closer and realized I was still holding his hand. I drew back on mine but couldn’t release his because when I did this, his fingers tightened.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I may have made a bit of a mess.”
His eyes cut to mine. “What went down with Noah?”
Oh dear.
“Perhaps I can tell you later,” I suggested.
“What went down with Noah, Josie?”
I stared into his eyes and noted he was not going to back down.
So it was me who held his hand tighter and I again got closer before I shared, “Obviously, he has no idea who I am and thus I overheard him—as boy Taylor put it—trash talking Amber.”
Jake’s mouth got tight in a way I found vaguely frightening but I persevered.
“I’m afraid I lost my temper and gave him a talking to,” I admitted.
“You gave him a talking to,” he repeated.
“Indeed,” I confirmed.
He said nothing to that and asked, “I need to have a word with Noah’s parents?”
I shook my head quickly.
Jake studied me.
Then he asked quietly, “He was trash talking Amber?”
I nodded my head slowly.
His big man energy started expanding all around.
“What’d he say?”
It was then I got even closer, lifted my free hand and put it on his chest, trying to find the words I needed.
I found them from memory of what boy Taylor had said and stated, “It doesn’t matter, Jake. I laid him out.”
He again studied me before asking, “Amber know what he said?”
“Some of it, yes. But I think the Taylors have that in hand. They’re quite supportive in a way it’s most gratifying. Further, neither of them likes Noah very much.”
“Was she there?”
I shook my head.
He took in a big breath and exhaled.
Then he shocked me by grinning, turning into me so he could sling his arm around my shoulders and tuck me into his side as he moved us toward the bleachers, stating, “Then I guess we’re goin’ to a concert in a couple weeks, Slick.”
We?
I didn’t ask this.
And I didn’t because I was noting that it was awkward walking with him with his arm around my shoulders and mine hanging down at my sides, so I slid one of mine around his waist.
Jake kept us connected until we hit the steps that led to our seats in the bleachers. He bid me to go before him and did this by putting a hand in the small of my back and gently pushing me toward the stairs.
I ascended, noting that children had appropriated more seating for us and Ethan had returned.
Though there was no sign of Conner and Ellie didn’t look any less anxious.
Jake maneuvered the seating arrangements so he was sitting between me and his daughter. Although extra seating had been procured, it was close and my side was plastered to Jake’s, including hip and thigh.
But he didn’t curve an arm around me again.
Instead, he curved one around his daughter and pulled her close to his other side, bending to kiss the top of her head.
When he lifted away, she tipped her face back to gaze at him, her eyes soft and partly lost, partly loving, and seeing that I thought she never looked lovelier.
And seeing Jake silently give his daughter his loving care, I thought he’d never been more wonderful.
And he was normally quite wonderful.
Clearly father/daughter affection was acceptable only for short periods of time at high school events for Jake released Amber a short time later and turned his attention to me, again curling an arm around my back and pulling me even tighter to his side.
It was then it occurred to me why Conner would think I was his father’s new girlfriend. Jake’s easy, and frequent, affection could undoubtedly be misconstrued in this manner.
I wondered if I should talk to him about this for I felt it might be confusing to the children and if he should (regrettably, but very probably) find another woman, they might not understand.
I was thinking this when Conner returned and Jake didn’t budge from my side even as his sharp eyes locked on his son.
But Conner saw no one but Ellie. He went directly to her and claimed her from boy Taylor who was sticking close.
Upon witnessing this, it became clear that Ellie was the one who was going to make “the cut.” Watching them after he returned, I noted that Conner seemed very attentive of her, also very protective and, as they said these days, very “into” her.
Our seating became even tighter when Conner joined us but the other spectators were involved in the game so they didn’t appear to notice.
Needless to say, our cocoas were lost in the shuffle and eventually got kicked under the bleachers without even being sipped. This was done by an excited Ethan, who did it when the Magdalene Tritons made one of their many touchdowns. This situation was rectified at halftime when Jake sent Ethan (who was accompanied on this errand by Conner and Ellie) to procure all of us warming beverages.
Except for the fact that it was a rather exciting game and even though I had not watched one in some time, I saw the Tritons were very talented, it seemed our drama for the evening was thankfully at an end.
The only thing earth shattering that happened (and this was only my perception) was that when we were seated (in other words, when Jake wasn’t clapping or cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting encouragement at the team I was relatively certain they couldn’t hear or jumping to his feet like all of those around us, applauding and shouting), Jake held me to him the whole time. And some of that time, I even felt the tips of his fingers stroking my hip (yes! stroking my hip!) through my jeans.
It was a lovely feeling (very lovely) but it was another display that more than likely, if caught by his children, could be confusing.
When the Tritons emerged victorious, after the raucous applause ended, Jake commanded to our brood to, “Roll out.”
We all moved.
Once on the graveled lane in front of the bleachers, Ethan leading the way followed by Amber and the Taylors, their heads together, looking like they were plotting, followed by Conner and Ellie with their arms around each other, heads also together, looking like they were doing something vastly different, Jake again claimed me. He did this like his son claimed his girlfriend except without our heads together.
No, when I slid my arm around his waist, I looked up and saw his head was held high and regardless of the drama that began our foray into high school athletic spectatorship, his expression seemed most content.
Perhaps his most handsome look.
Then again, that would be hard to judge as they all were.
I started to look to my feet in order to best negotiate the gravel in my high-heeled boots but my eyes caught on Ellie’s thumb hooked in the belt loop of Conner’s jeans.
When it did, I had another overwhelming urge—an urge so overwhelming, it was a yearning to do the same to Jake.
More accurately, to be to Jake the person in his life who could stake that kind of claim of his jeans (an inappropriately heated thought).
But more, his person.
I sighed as I realized my pretending needed to be well and truly done for even if Jake was holding me close, I knew it was simply Jake doing with me what he would do with his daughter if she would allow him to do so in front of her peers.
On this thought, I spied Noah standing with his companions to the side of the end of the bleachers. In spying him, I saw he was studying Amber and doing it closely.
His friends were as well, and if I was not mistaken, a couple of them were doing it not with speculation or indignation but admiration.
I looked to Amber and saw her resolutely avoiding eye contact with Noah and I knew, as a woman but also someone who was once a teenaged girl, she knew he was there.
Her slight of Noah didn’t go unnoticed. I saw his jaw get hard and then I saw his gaze turn to me.
I held his eyes momentarily before I looked away, fought back my grin but didn’t fight back my murmur of, “That’s my girl.”
I knew Jake heard this when his arm around me got tighter. I also knew Jake saw it when Amber looked over her shoulder and leaned to the side to catch my eyes.
I winked at her. She grinned at me. My entire frame warmed delightfully and it warmed even more when Jake pulled me so tight to his side, I had to twist slightly into him to accommodate the embrace.
“You take care of my girl,” he said softly.
I looked up at him. “Yes, Jake. But I believe I get more out of it than she does.”
His gentle gaze held mine captive when he replied, “Then you believe wrong, Slick.”
I pressed my lips together and looked away for the warmth I was feeling was so acute, so lovely, even precious, I needed to concentrate on walking so I didn’t get overcome by the feeling and fall flat on my face.
It was within five more feet of our advance when it happened.
And what happened was that a remarkably attractive, tall, buxom redhead approached our parade, crying out, “My babies!”
“F*ck,” Jake muttered.
I quickly glanced up at him as he stopped us.
He no longer looked content.
And I saw when I looked in the direction his eyes were aimed that he stopped us because the advance of our party was halted by the woman bearing down on Amber to give her a tight hug that Amber markedly didn’t return.
The woman didn’t seem to notice as she let Amber go and moved promptly to wrest Conner away from Ellie and do the same.
Unlike his sister, Conner hugged the woman, though it appeared to me that he did this more out of consideration than fondness, and I knew in that instant the woman was Donna, Conner and Amber’s mother.
It was then my study of her heightened and I noted she looked very like her daughter except for the fact she was far more curvaceous. And this last wasn’t lost on me in any way that Donna, Jake’s ex-wife, had big hair and big…other stuff.
Precisely the reason that Donna was Jake’s ex-wife and I would never be Jake’s anything.
She turned to Amber, pouting disingenuously, “You never call.”
Before Amber could reply, her eyes went to her son.
“And if I didn’t see you at Wayfarer’s, I’d never see you.”
“Mom—” Conner started but it was then, two things happened.
One, I noticed a man hovering a bit away, watching these proceedings.
He was very good-looking. He was also quite young. I would place Donna at around my age, no younger, perhaps older. The man hovering in a way that made me think he belonged to her couldn’t be older than thirty, but he could be younger.
And even good-looking, at a glance I knew he wished to be just like Jake. He wanted to have that big man commanding presence, the self-confidence, the manner, but this would always be nothing but a desire. To have what Jake had you had to be born the man he became. You couldn’t want it. You simply were going to be it until you were it.
The other thing that happened was that Donna’s eyes came to Jake and I, took us in quickly with back and forth flicks of her gaze (most specifically our arms around each other), and finally settled on Jake.
“Jake,” she greeted.
“Donna,” he returned.
Her gaze came to me just as I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Ethan was sidling close to Jake.
“This is Josie,” Jake introduced me, unnecessarily indicating I was the Josie he was speaking of by giving me a slight shake.
“Yeah, Lydia Malone’s granddaughter,” Donna stated, her gaze moving the length of me.
“Yes,” I confirmed. “And you’re Conner and Amber’s mother. Lovely to meet you.”
The last was a lie.
It was this because she had once had Jake in the way I wanted him and I had to admit I was envious. I wasn’t proud of that emotion but I couldn’t deny I had it.
It was also a lie because she threw Jake away and I read between the lines of what he told me about their end that this had hurt him and I very much didn’t like that.
It was also a lie because neither of her children had mentioned her once and it was clear at the very least that Amber needed her mother and her mother was not available to her.
It was further a lie because neither Conner nor Amber seemed comfortable in her presence and this spoke volumes.
And last, it was a lie because she had procured a trophy boyfriend who she treated precisely thus. This was likely one of the reasons her children were uncomfortable.
Her having her young man mattered not to me. I had the philosophy to each their own.
However, I didn’t have children but if I did, I would care very much what they thought about the people I spent my time with and if those people were important, I would do what I could to communicate that to my children and make them feel at ease in their presence.
This man didn’t say hello. He barely even approached. And she didn’t introduce him to anyone.
He was on display.
He didn’t matter.
And although Donna was very attractive, I didn’t understand why he would allow her to treat him this way.
She nodded to me and murmured, “Yeah. You too.” Her eyes went to Jake. “Heard you two were an item.”
I braced in order to withstand the blow of Jake correcting her and was more than mildly surprised when he didn’t and remained silent.
She looked back to her kids. “Any chance I’ll see you this weekend?”
“Busy, Mom,” Conner said softly.
She accepted this without comment or apparent rancor and looked to Amber, raising her brows in affectionate inquiry
“Seriously?” Amber asked with some sarcasm and also incredulity.
The Taylors closed in on Amber and I again stiffened at what I read in this action.
“Well, yeah,” Donna, not seeming to read her daughter’s tone or demeanor, replied. “We can do a girls night in tomorrow.” She grinned. “A slumber party.”
Amber’s eyes narrowed angrily before she repeated, “Seriously?”
Donna’s face melted to confusion and she also repeated, “Well, yeah.”
“I haven’t seen you in over a month,” Amber informed her.
That was a long time.
I felt my own eyes narrowing.
“Well—” Donna started.
Amber threw her hand out and declared, “We lost Lydie.”
“Honey—” Jake began quietly, his arm around me loosening and I was certain this was because he intended to go to his girl.
Donna’s expression softened and she said gently, “I know, baby girl. I phoned.”
“You phoned,” Amber spat out. “Once.”
“I—” Donna started again.
But Amber kept spitting. “Save it. We lost Lydie but we got Josie. When we had Lydie, we didn’t need you. Now we have Josie and we still don’t need you.”
Donna looked stricken.
“Amber—” Conner said quietly, warningly but also soothingly.
But it was then Jake moved.
As for me, my mind was at war. I found I absolutely adored what she said at the same time I detested it.
“No!” Amber cried as I felt Ethan get close to me after losing his father who was approaching Amber. Amber lifted up her hand to her dad at the same time I curled my fingers around Ethan’s shoulder. “No,” she repeated, dropping her hand when Jake stopped moving. “I’m good. I’m fine. Everything is just fine. It’s always fine because it has to be.”
She then proved it absolutely was not when her face crumbled and she belatedly attempted to hide this by turning and rushing away.
The Taylors rushed after her.
Ellie gave Conner a look, Conner gave Ellie a nod, and Ellie rushed after her too.
Jake turned to Donna then took four strides to the side, getting out of the lane of traffic of exiting spectators that we had, I hadn’t noticed until just then, been forestalling due to our scene.
As he moved, he caught Donna’s forearm and tugged her along with him.
I didn’t know what to do outside of taking the drama out of the main thoroughfare so I shuffled with them, shuffling Ethan with me.
The silent man that belonged to Donna didn’t make a peep as he moved two feet to the side. He also didn’t even look askance at Jake’s hand on Donna’s arm.
And last, Conner moved with us, his eyes sharp on his mother and father.
With one look at Jake’s face, I had the feeling that an emotional situation was about to worsen significantly.
“Not now,” I heard Jake growl, “but when we don’t have an audience, you and me gotta talk.”
“Jake—” she started, looking up at him still appearing stricken but also bemused and I could not imagine how the latter could be.
She had to know that not seeing her daughter for a month was wrong.
“Shut it,” he clipped and looked to Conner. “Take Josie and your brother and find Amber.”
“I got things to say to her too,” Conner replied.
Oh dear.
I put pressure on Ethan’s shoulder in preparation to exit this scenario when Jake demanded, “Get your brother and Josie outta here.”
Conner ignored his father and looked to his mother. “She needs you.”
“Honey—” Donna again began but got nothing out.
Conner interrupted her. “You need to pull your finger outta your ass and soon, Mom, or you’re gonna lose her forever.”
On that, her mouth dropped open but Conner was done. He turned to me and Ethan but his eyes only sliced through me before he looked down at his brother.
“Come on, Eath,” he said, holding out a hand.
Ethan ran to him.
Conner then looked to me. “Stay with Dad,” he ordered rather bossily and then he took his brother’s hand and they were away.
I looked to Jake.
Jake was scowling at Donna.
“I hope he does it for you,” he said in a deadly quiet tone, his head jerking to the man who still had nothing to say. “I really hope he does. ‘Cause what he gives you has got to be worth what you’re losin’ if you don’t f*ckin’ clue in and soon.”
She opened her mouth to say something but this time she didn’t even get a word out before Jake prowled to me, claimed me with an arm around my shoulders again and guided me firmly to the now light traffic exiting the stadium.
I gave it some time for Jake’s mood was encasing us in its heated grip and I felt I needed to give him that time to sort through his thoughts.
When his mood didn’t dissipate (in the slightest), I ventured, “Are you all right?”
“She’s a good woman,” he strangely replied. “No joke, Josie. She’s a good woman who loves her kids. I know this. So I don’t get this kick she’s on.”
Cautiously (very cautiously), I reminded him, “You also didn’t get the kick she was on that ended your marriage.”
His arm gave me a squeeze. “Yeah. That’s the God’s honest truth. F*ck, but that woman needs to learn how to communicate. And Con’s right. She also needs to get her finger out of her ass.”
Although I knew very little, from what I’d seen it appeared he and Conner were right.
Therefore, I whispered, “Indeed.”
“My girl’s had a tough night,” he murmured, his voice lower and deeper with feeling.
I looked up at him to see his eyes aimed at something so I looked that way and saw Amber at Jake’s truck surrounded by her brothers and friends.
I was still whispering when I agreed, “She has.”
Jake stopped us some distance away and looked down at me. “Was gonna drop Eath at home seein’ as Amber and the Taylors were gonna hang there tonight after the game. Then I was gonna go hang with you at your place. But I need to be home for my girl.”
I liked that he had intended to hang with me and I had many ideas of what we could do while hanging. Ideas of things we’d never do.
Even so, it would be lovely simply to share a drink and a quiet conversation in the light room again.
But he was right. He needed to be there for his girl.
I nodded.
Then I found myself blurting, “I still have cream puffs.”
Jake’s brows drew together. “Come again?”
“Well,” I began to explain. “You have some experience with women so it’s probably has not been lost on you that often when women face difficulties, food has a calming influence. Food and friends. The Taylors, Conner and his girl, Ethan, you…all of you can come to Lavender House because I have plenty of cream puffs and they’re still delicious.”
At that, Jake’s face gentled, and he stated, “And that way, you can also see to my girl.”
Yes.
And that way, I could also see to Amber.
I said nothing.
He started us moving again, murmuring, “Cream puffs it is, Slick.”
Cream puffs it was.
And as it was, I felt better.
I just hoped cream puffs, friends and family would make Amber feel the same.