“Stop right there!” I demanded.
It was after dinner and we’d retired to the family room to watch TV.
At dinner, Conner had attempted to eat his asparagus but it was evident by the look on his face whenever he took a bite that he did this to be polite (which I thought was quite nice and said good things about him). However, as he wasn’t enjoying it, I informed him he didn’t have to force it down at the same time making a mental note to try broccoli on him when they were again dining at Lavender House.
Now, Ethan was on the floor at the coffee table doing homework. Amber was sitting in an armchair, having told us (what I thought was suspiciously) that her homework was already done. And Conner was somewhere else in the house having taken a call from one of his “babes” (this, strangely, got him a pointed look from his father to which Conner mouthed, “I know,” before disappearing from the room).
I was sitting next to Jake on the couch, a place he had put me by seating himself and grabbing my hips when I got close in order to use them to plant me beside him.
Although I obviously preferred to select my own seat, there was something about his actions (not to mention my location) that I liked more.
A great deal more.
Amber was in control of the remote and she’d just happened upon a show I much liked.
At my command, she paused it at the same exact time Jake rumbled, “Babe, we are not watchin’ Project Runway.”
“No way!” Ethan put in his vote.
But I’d turned my head to Jake. “But we must. This show is excellent. I’ve seen it several times before and it’s marvelous.”
Jake held my eyes as he replied, “Josie, no reality show is marvelous.”
I felt my brows draw together as I informed him with authority, “It’s not reality. It’s fashion.”
“I so am seeing how Josie being around is gonna be way cool,” Amber stated at this juncture and I looked to her. “Another chick in the mix means reruns of Project Runway and no Monday Night Football.”
Amber’s comment pleased me greatly thus I turned my head back to Jake and smiled, whereupon he declared, “We were gonna miss the beginning so we’re tapin’ the game at home. My boys and me can watch it later. But now, we should watch something we all wanna watch.”
“Yeah,” Ethan agreed.
I had a feeling that the divide between what Amber and I would wish to watch and what Jake and Ethan (and Conner, when he returned from his discourse with his “babe”) would want to watch was such that it would be impossible to traverse.
But, I wasn’t dwelling on this.
I simply wanted to watch Project Runway.
To make this happen, I leaned into Jake and spoke cajolingly.
“Jake, you don’t understand. What they do on this show is remarkable. An artist is inspired by many things but they’re normally free to be inspired by whatever moves them. On this show, they’re given the inspiration they must utilize and it’s most difficult to create under those kinds of conditions. And they have an impossibly short time to come up with a vision and the period in which they have to create the actual garments is, well…nearly criminal.”
Jakes brows lifted as his full lips quirked and he asked, “Criminal?”
“Indeed,” I answered with the utmost seriousness. “And Tim Gunn is exceptionally talented. He has an eye the likes I’ve never seen and I’ve worked in fashion for twenty-three years. Not to mention, his manner is most appealing and his ability to communicate with emotion, candor and diplomacy is a marvel. He in and of himself is worth watching that show. However, the judges are quite savvy as well and their commentary is most illuminating.”
Jake was losing the fight with his smile and I was hoping losing the will to deprive Amber and me of our program so I leaned closer to him to continue beseeching.
But as I did so, Amber spoke.
“Oh my God,” she breathed and I looked to her. “It just hit me. Do you know Heidi or Zac?”
My head tipped to the side in confusion. “Zac?”
“Zac Posen,” she replied. “He took over for Michael Kors.”
“My goodness,” I whispered with delight. “Zac Posen is on the show now?”
“Yeah. And he rocks,” Amber told me.
This I just had to see.
Therefore, I whipped my head around to Jake and shared, “Zac Posen is immensely talented. This is most intriguing. The loss of Michael Kors is a blow but I’m very interested to see what Posen contributes to the show.”
And in order to fully communicate my point, I leaned in on my “very” and added putting my hand to his chest in entreaty.
When I was done speaking, I saw his eyes had warmed and I sensed I was going to get my way so I felt a variety of places warm on me, including my heart.
He proved me right when he murmured, “We’ll watch your show, baby.”
I smiled big.
Jake’s eyes dropped to my mouth.
Ethan exclaimed in outrage, “Dad!”
Jake looked to his son. “It’s an hour, Eath. You’ll live.”
“It’s an hour and a half,” Amber contradicted.
“Jesus,” Jake muttered, the dread in that one word unmasked and I curiously found this most amusing.
Thus, I smiled at him again.
His eyes dropped to my mouth again, another area of my body warmed and it wasn’t my heart.
“Right on!” Amber cried. I forced my eyes from Jake and looked to her. “So,” she pressed. “Do you know Zac or Heidi?”
“Alas, no,” I replied and her face fell. “Henry has, of course, taken photos of Heidi so I have spoken to her people but he did the shoot while I was at another location, preparing for him to film a video. Though, I was once at a party with Nina Garcia. But I got a headache and had to leave before I was able to meet her.”
“Bummer,” Amber mumbled.
It was. I’d quite looked forward to meeting Ms. Garcia.
I let Amber’s mumble go and settled in, turning my gaze to the TV, ordering, “Let’s begin, Amber.”
“Cool,” she said and hit the button on the remote.
I was watching carefully as they were showing scenes from the episode before since I wanted to catch up as best I could. That said, it was far from lost on me that Jake’s arm went along the couch behind me and directly curled around my shoulders so he could pull me into his side.
He was warm, the position was comfortable and in order to make it warmer and more comfortable, I leaned into him and lifted my legs to the couch at my side to curl even closer.
At this point, Conner joined us and when he did, he murmured, “What the hell? Seriously? Project Runway?”
“Shush!” Amber hissed (before I could).
I lifted my eyes to Conner to see he was not looking at the TV in disgust but at his father and I curled on the couch together and he was again doing this with speculation. His eyes moved to Amber but I was missing the show so I moved my gaze back to the TV.
Jake slouched into the couch, lifting his booted feet to the coffee table and pulling me closer.
I settled in, placing my cheek to his chest with a sigh.
And I watched Project Runway with Jake’s family, liberally conversing with Amber through it, doing this to share our opinions and commentary and surprisingly (and gratifyingly) always agreeing.
In the end, when the designer we wanted to win won, and the one who (alas) produced an unusual outfit that didn’t quite hit the mark that Amber and I both agreed should be dismissed was dismissed, she and I shared a harmonious smile.
And that warmed me too.
* * * * *
“Give us a second,” Jake ordered, grabbing my hand and moving us away from the car salesman.
It was afternoon the next day and I’d decided on a car.
A car, I could tell as I studied his profile while he was moving us away from the salesman, that Jake didn’t agree on.
He stopped us out of hearing distance and kept hold of my hand as he turned his body to face me.
“Babe, you’re not buyin’ that car.”
I blinked up at him. “But Jake, it’s a nice color.”
He stared down at me and if I was reading him correctly, it was with disbelief.
“And it’s inexpensive,” I continued, even though the cost was not really a concern.
This I’d shared with Jake earlier, which meant we’d already been to the Porsche, Lexus and Cadillac dealerships before we stopped by this used dealership on my whim. That whim being me seeing the car we just test drove in the lot and crying out, “Let’s stop here!”
Jake, being Jake, had swung into the lot.
“It’s cheap because it’s a year old and has sixty thousand miles on it,” he stated.
“Is that a lot?”
He stared at me another moment before he shook his head, looked at his boots then looked back at me. “Yeah. It’s a lot,” he told me. “That kind of mileage means its first owner drove the f*ck outta it. Which, before you ask, is not good.”
“Oh,” I murmured.
“Since you can afford it, you’re gettin’ the Cayenne,” he declared.
I had to admit, the Cayenne was very luxurious and the ride was exceptionally smooth.
Even so, I noted, “It’s my understanding that purchasing a new car means that when you drive it off the lot, it loses a good deal of value.”
“You wanna sell it in a month or a year, that’s a problem,” he replied. “You buy a Porsche, though, it’s a high-performance vehicle, any problem you have will be down the road and I mean way down the road and it’ll likely be about wear and tear and nothin’ else. It’ll be solid. It won’t cause you any headaches. And you can probably own it for twenty years and not have to deal with shit except regular maintenance.”
I had no idea what my future held, I just knew it held Lavender House and Magdalene. And thus, when there, I would need reliable transport. And it was highly unlikely I’d wish to engage in the onerous activity of car shopping again in six months, a year or even ten of them.
“And it’s black,” he went on and I focused again on him. “Black is hot. That Cayenne in black is hotter. You in anything, even a mini-van, would be hot. That’s just you. You in that Cayenne…” he paused and grinned big, “Smokin’.”
“I’ll get the Cayenne,” I agreed immediately.
“Good call, Slick,” he approved, grinning bigger.
I grinned back.
He then moved us toward his truck, his hand still in mine, as he turned his head and called to the salesman, “Thanks for your time.”
The salesman’s face fell.
Jake bleeped the locks on his truck, took me directly to the passenger side door and opened it for me. He also helped me up. He got behind the wheel and we started the twenty-mile drive back to the Porsche dealership.
As with everything Jake gave me, his time that afternoon had been generous.
Therefore, I remarked into the cab, “For your assistance this afternoon, I think I owe you and your family another dinner.”
“Babe, after last night’s salmon and sautéed potatoes and that un-f*cking-believably good hollandaise sauce followed by homemade tiramisu, I’m not gonna say no. But just sayin’, I like bein’ with you so I got a shot at that, I’m gonna take it even if it means drivin’ all over the county, lookin’ at cars and dealing with car salesmen. So you don’t owe me shit.”
I had ceased breathing when he said he liked being with me.
It must be said, I also liked being with him. A great deal. And every time I was with him, I liked it more.
Alas, I liked it in a way he didn’t like it.
Regardless, I had liked being with Henry for years in a way Henry didn’t like and I’d lived.
I could do it again.
It wouldn’t be easy and the more I got to know Jake (and his family), the less easy it became.
But my only alternative was not having Jake (and his family) and I already knew in the short time that I knew all of them that would be worse.
So I would do it, no matter how not easy it was.
For as long as I could do it.
“Though, pointing out, my boys and I could do without Project Runway. Watchin’ that shit meant Ethan paid attention to his homework and not the TV but I think it nearly killed Conner.”
I grinned at the windshield at his quip and offered, “Next time, Amber and I’ll watch it on a set in another room.”
“Strike that, you watch it on a set in another room, you aren’t on the couch with me so I’ll put up with Project Runway.”
My grin got wider.
Yes, he liked being with me.
And I liked that.
A great deal.
We drove to the Porsche dealership in Jake’s truck.
I drove back to Lavender House in a new black Cayenne with Jake trailing after Jake drove a hard bargain.
For me.
* * * * *
The next afternoon, to turn my mind from Eliza Weaver and the alarmingly quick devastation her disease was causing, I left their house when Mr. Weaver came back from the office.
I got in my new Cayenne and backed out of their driveway with my phone in my hand.
When I was on my way, my next destination was the mall. This was not because I was running out of clothes (I flew first class and thus could have more than the normal allotted luggage, but even so, I knew how to pack and was always prepared for anything) but because I needed a different kind of clothing.
I also needed to make my daily call to Henry.
The ones for the last several days had been rushed and short, mostly because he had little time to give to me. That said, I’d made them and he seemed to be mollified.
So I made today’s call on the go and multi-tasking.
“Josephine,” he greeted with a smile in his voice.
“Hello, Henry,” I replied with one in mine as well since I was smiling.
“How are you, sweetheart?” he asked.
“Fine,” I answered. “Busy. There’s much to do. As I said I would do, I did manage to buy a new car yesterday, which is good. That said, the search for it and paperwork, which is most time-consuming, not to mention annoying, ate up the afternoon and I need to get some clothes as there’s more work to do in the garden and to see to that, I shouldn’t be wearing Versace.”
“Work in the garden?” Henry queried.
“Yes,” I stated, hitting the turn signal and slowing for an upcoming stop sign, thinking while feeling the smooth deceleration, Jake was very right about this vehicle. It was sublime. “And I need to get to the mall and home and do it quickly because Jake phoned,” I carried on. “He has a lock on someone who’s interested in buying Gran’s Buick so I need to be back at Lavender House to meet Jake there so we can be there when the buyer arrives.”
“Has a lock?” Henry murmured strangely then went on with, “We?”
“Indeed,” I confirmed, making my turn. “Obviously, I have no idea how to sell a car so Jake’s going to negotiate the sale for me. And tomorrow, the cable people are scheduled to come to the house to set up Internet and, of course, Amber’s grounding is done so back to the mall we go, as I need to buy her some makeup. I’m also helping out by starting to look after Ethan for Jake after school, but this time, Amber will be with him seeing as we’re going to the mall.”
“Amber and Ethan?”
“Jake’s children,” I explained then went on to share, “There’s also Conner. He’s the oldest. I don’t see him as often since he works in town at Wayfarer’s and has a variety of babes who take up his time.” I drew in breath and asked, “So, how are you?”
Before he answered, my phone beeped.
“One second, Henry,” I murmured, looked at my phone quickly then put it back to my ear. “So sorry,” I went on. “That’s Jake. I need to take the call. It might be about the Buick.”
“Jose—”
“I’ll phone tomorrow,” I said swiftly so I didn’t miss Jake’s call. “But I hope you’re doing well. Take care, Henry.”
Before he could say a word, I accepted Jake’s call and put the phone to my ear, greeting, “Hello, Jake.”
“Hey, Slick. You good?”
“I am,” I answered then shared, “Eliza isn’t.”
There was a moment’s silence then, “F*ck. She gettin’ bad?”
“Her deterioration day to day is distressing.”
“Baby,” he said softly and that one two-syllable word didn’t heal the concern I had for Eliza Weaver but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a balm for it. “Worried about you doin’ that,” he continued. “She’s goin’ downhill that fast, you’ve got a lot on your plate and that might be too much.”
“I’m fine, Jake,” I said quietly. “It’s Eliza who isn’t.”
“I get that and that sucks for her in a big way. I feel for her, for Weaver, but I don’t know them. I know and care about you.”
He cared about me.
He was so lovely.
“Really, Jake, it doesn’t feel good to watch her decline but it does make me feel good to be there for people Gran cared about and do my bit to help.”
There was a pause before he replied, “All right, honey.”
I took us away from that unhappy topic and asked, “Are you calling about the Buick?”
“Yeah,” he answered. “Conner’s been spreadin’ it around at the store that the Buick is on offer and we got another bite. I asked the other buyer to come about half an hour after the first. If he’s interested, he’ll know someone else is interested and hopefully that’ll help us get you a good deal.”
“Excellent,” I replied.
“Yeah. So see you at your place at four?”
“Yes, Jake, see you there,” I confirmed.
“Right, Slick. Later, babe.”
“Later, Jake.”
For some reason, he rang off chuckling.
As for me, for reasons I knew very well, just having spoken to Jake no matter what it was we were talking about, I rang off smiling.
* * * * *
Four hours later, I stood in the lane at Lavender House with Jake watching the Buick drive away, two cars following it. One, the man who bought the Buick for his wife, the woman currently behind the wheel of Gran’s car. The other, the disgruntled loser of the negotiation that Jake made a passing attempt to moderate but it got so heated they upped their own offers, haggling amongst themselves without any input from Jake or me.
Indeed, it got to the point where it was ridiculous. Not knowing one thing about cars, I still knew this as the wife grew openly alarmed when the discussion carried forward to become not about two elderly gentlemen wishing to own a ten-year-old Buick but two elderly gentlemen wishing to best one another.
Regardless, in the end it would seem this served me quite well.
Therefore, when we lost sight of the last car, I looked up at Jake and noted, “I think that went well.”
He burst out laughing but did it turning to me and pulling me in his arms for a tight hug.
That felt so lovely, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back.
When he was done laughing, he looked down at me and remarked, “You crack me right the f*ck up, babe.”
I took that as confirmation the negotiation on the Buick went well but more, I liked that I amused him so I smiled at him and replied, “Good.”
His arms gave me a squeeze and his face changed to what could be nothing but disappointment (and it must be said, I looked hard to read something else in his features and saw only that) before he announced, “Need to get home, get the kids dinner, make sure they’re not killin’ each other.”
I was suddenly disappointed too, but had no choice but to agree.
“All right.”
He gave me a squeeze.
I forced another smile.
Then he bent his head and my breath caught when, this time, he brushed his lips just half an inch from the side of my mouth and then, before moving away, he brushed his nose against the side of mine.
I fought to get my breath back. Winning that fight, I then had to fight to modulate it as he pulled away and whispered, “Talk to you later, Josie.”
Unable to speak, I nodded.
He gave me another squeeze, then let me go and moved to his truck.
I waved as he pulled away and saw through the back window as he lifted his hand and flicked it out, indicating he saw my wave.
I watched Jake’s truck out of sight and moved back to the house thinking that for the first time in days, there was nothing scheduled, imminent or otherwise that would mean I would see or even hear from Jake again.
And this made me feel unusual—distraught and downhearted.
But I knew from experience of caring for Henry in a way he didn’t return, with my relationship with Jake, it was a feeling I would need to get used to.
Thus, I sighed deeply as I closed the door to Lavender House behind me thinking a word these days I thought frequently and knew I would continue to think with regularity when it came to Jake Spear.
And that was…alas.