The Five Stages of Falling in Love

This felt like punishment for my reluctance to be nice to the guy.

 

 

Yet… I had been wishing for a glass of wine. Desperately.

 

Damn, why was I such a lush?

 

I heard the gate open and the crunch of his feet as he padded his way over. He paused when he reached me, looming tall and dark, waiting for me to acknowledge him.

 

I looked up to his smiling face and felt myself relax just a bit. I didn’t understand my reaction. He usually made me so uncomfortable that my rudeness was unforgivable. But tonight, he felt like relief. He felt like… a breath of fresh air.

 

Maybe I had been more afraid to spend time with the thoughts in my head than the harmless man that lived next door to me.

 

He held out a stemmed glass. The floodlight glinted off the shiny surface. I twirled the glass in my fingers while Ben pulled a corkscrew from his pocket and went to work opening the bottle. The glug-glug-glug of wine pouring into my glass was the only sound that broke our silence.

 

Eventually he pulled the bottle back, after a very generous pour, filled his own glass and slid gracefully into the seat next to me. His long legs extended in front of him and he draped his arms over the chair as though he’d sat here hundreds of times before.

 

I gave him a double take before I allowed this reality of him to set in. He was the cool kid in school, the cool kid wherever he went. He had the natural ability to feel at home wherever he was. I could see that about him. And now the arrogant grin made sense.

 

“Thanks for the wine,” I finally broke the quiet that he didn’t seem in any hurry to end.

 

He looked over at me and smiled. “You looked like you could use some company.”

 

“Yeah, I guess. Mostly I just needed the wine.” I grinned back at him and took a sip of a very nice red. I didn’t know what it was and it was too dark to read the label from this distance, but Ben had great taste in libations.

 

“The cupboards are bare?”

 

I shook my head and laughed lightly. “Have you ever taken four kids into a liquor store?”

 

“I cannot say that I have. But I could only imagine the stress for all parties involved.”

 

“Exactly. Luckily my new neighbor is very generous.” I took another sip and settled back into the comfortable chair.

 

“Luckily.”

 

We sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wasn’t very good at sitting contemplatively, especially when there was another person around. I needed to fill the space between us. I needed to put something in the air and add to the peaceful evening.

 

“So what do you do, Ben? I don’t know anything about you other than you have good taste in houses, great taste in wine and you eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast.”

 

“Not every morning!” His foot slid over and kicked me playfully. I pulled my legs back and tucked them underneath me so he couldn’t do that again. If he noticed, it didn’t seem to bother him. “You caught me on a bad morning.”

 

“Sure, I did.”

 

He chuckled. “Those were the early days. It was either Pop-Tarts or cold pizza. Your child needed luring. I thought I would fare better with the toasted breakfast pastries.”

 

I turned to face him and let myself be humbled by his confession. “Thank you for that, by the way. I don’t think I ever truly thanked you for baiting her from the pool. We could have been in there all morning.”

 

“She’s fast.”

 

It was my turn to chuckle. “She’s now on a swim team. I decided to use her powers for good.”

 

“She’s like five? They make swim teams for five year olds?”

 

“She’s six. And she’s a little young, but one of the high school teams helps run a youth league. They let her try out. They were thrilled to see what a freaky little fish she is in the water.”

 

“Huh.” Ben crossed his feet at his ankles and stared down at his wine. He seemed to be chewing over my words with some degree of thoughtfulness, but I couldn’t figure out what I said to make him think so hard. Finally, after I’d gone back to enjoying my wine and watching the soft sway of leaves float on the long, bent branches, he said, “That was a good mom thing to do.”

 

“What was?” I had lost him.

 

“Putting her on a swim team. If that had been me when I was her age, my mom would have threatened my life if I ever tried it again. You gave her an outlet to use a talent that she obviously excels at. I think that’s great.”

 

Whatever easy response I wanted to give him stuck in my chest. The compliment, even though it felt out of nowhere, meant more to me than I could ever tell him. I hadn’t heard something positive about my parenting since Grady died.

 

There was no one around to tell me I was a good mom. When my parents called, we had a lot to talk about, but never that. And when I was forced to interact with Katherine, I tried to speak as few words as possible.

 

I would never have expected this much-needed encouragement to come from Ben Tyler.

 

“Thank you,” I whispered, struggling to hide my emotions.

 

“Lawyer,” he blurted suddenly.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Lawyer,” he repeated. “You asked what I do… I’m a lawyer.”

 

“Wow.” That would explain how he could afford the house next to me. “Impressive.”

 

“Not really.” The deprecating tone he used didn’t seem to fit. “It’s my father’s firm. I’m really just inheriting the practice.”

 

“You sound super enthusiastic about that.” The wine buzzed in my head. I hadn’t had something to drink in a long time. Since the night after Grady’s funeral, I realized. My parents flew in and stayed with me for a couple weeks to help with the kids. Emma had brought over a bottle of tequila and we decided to drink instead of cry.

 

We’d ended up doing both.

 

He grunted. “I am.”

 

I turned to face him, sliding my knees toward my chest and making myself very comfortable in the slatted chair. I probably wouldn’t have been as relaxed around him without the wine, but now I was curious. I couldn’t help but meddle.

 

Rachel Higginson's books