“It really is cruel. I don’t know how you live without cheeseburgers.”
I shrugged. “I don’t begrudge anyone their cheeseburgers, but the longer I worked with animals, the harder it was to eat them.” Hayes’ expression soured. “Sorry.”
“No, I get it. I think growing up on a cattle ranch gave me a different outlook. Mom and Dad have always been sticklers for ethical ranching. No crazy hormones to beef up the stock. Ending life as humanely as possible.”
“That’s good. Most large-scale operations aren’t that way. I just…my heart can’t handle it, I guess.”
The gentle smile that Hayes gave me, hit somewhere in the vicinity of my chest. I dropped my gaze, but he didn’t look away. “You guard that sensitive heart pretty well.”
Heat rose to my cheeks. “Some people take it as a weakness.”
“I don’t. I think letting things affect you deeply means you’re stronger than the rest of the world.”
I broke off a piece of crust and tore it into little pieces. I needed a subject change, something that wouldn’t feel as if Hayes was peering inside my mind and soul and seeing all the things I hid away. “How’d you end up with Koda?”
“He was a K-9 dropout, and I fell in love.”
“Really?”
He took a sip of his Coke and nodded. “He flunked out for being too friendly.”
“My kind of dropout.”
“Mine, too. The program was going to put him up for adoption, but I’d already grown attached, so I took him home.”
“It looks like you guys were meant for each other.”
Hayes took a bite of pizza and then swallowed. “I think so. And my family loves him. They spoil him rotten. Which is why it nearly killed me to carry him the five miles back to my SUV today.”
I dropped the piece of crust I was toying with back to my plate. “You carried him five miles? He weighs over eighty pounds.”
“Believe me, I know. I told him he’d be going on a diet as soon as he’s better. My sisters and parents give him too many treats.”
“They love him.”
“That they do. I swear he’d abandon me for Shiloh if he could.”
I cracked open my soda and took a sip. “It seems like she has a way with animals, too.”
“She does. Horses, especially. I think she likes the idea of your sanctuary.”
“She seems to. She’s been helping out a lot. Says she’d like to help me get it up and running.”
Hayes slowly set his slice of pizza down. “I didn’t know she’d come by before we had to help with the barn.”
I’d realized that about Shiloh as I’d gotten to know her a little better—she kept things close to the vest. Especially around her family. “She showed up the day after your mom did and said she wanted to help. It must run in the family.”
Hayes’ jaw worked back and forth, and I could almost hear his back teeth grinding together. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Helping out once or twice is one thing, but being there all the time…? It’s not healthy.”
I was quiet for a moment, trying to choose my words carefully. “Shouldn’t she be the one to decide that?”
“You think you know my sister better than I do?”
“Not at all. But I think she knows herself best.”
Hayes flexed his fingers against the lip of the table. “She can get triggered easily. I just don’t want that to happen more than it already does.”
“I get that.” Oh boy, did I ever. More than Hayes would ever know. “But, sometimes, we have to confront the ghosts. I think that’s what she’s doing in a way. Proving to herself there’s no reason to be scared anymore.”
“I need you to keep a close eye on her. And tell me if she seems to be having a hard time.”
I didn’t think Shiloh would let me in on that sort of thing. “Hayes, if she talks to me about anything…I’m not going to betray that confidence and come running to you.” He started to speak, but I held up a hand. “It’s not like we’ve become bosom buddies or anything.”
“Bosom buddies?”
“Haven’t you ever read Anne of Green Gables?”
“I can’t say that I have. But if there were boob friends, maybe I was missing out.”
I choked on the sip of Coke I’d just taken and nearly sprayed it across the table. “Don’t say something like that while I’m drinking.”
“Good to know you think I’m funny.”
“You’re denigrating my favorite Anne. You probably deserve a little backwash spray.”
Hayes pushed back from the table a bit. “I’ll keep my distance, then.”
“Wise.”
He looked up and met my gaze dead-on. “I love my sister. She’s different because of what happened to her, and I’d give anything to change that for her. I’d do anything to keep her from hurting now.”
His words sliced and clawed. Each one cutting deeper than the last. “You’re a good brother.”
“I try.”
I took a deep breath. “But different isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s a superpower. Make sure you’re not overlooking what’s so special about Shiloh in search of things that are wrong.”
Hayes was quiet for a moment, but he didn’t look away. “I don’t. I…hell.”
I reached across the table and laid my hand over his. “There’s only one thing you need to do.”
“And what’s that?”
“Love her for who she is now, no matter the whys of it.”
“I can do that.” Hayes turned his hand over so we were palm-to-palm. And, for some reason, I kept mine there.
We stayed like that as the seconds drifted into a minute, and still, I didn’t pull away. Not until a whine sounded from the back room and broke the moment. But I felt the heat of that hand for the rest of the night.
22
Everly
I swung my keys around my pointer finger as I leaned against the hood of my SUV. I’d begun to notice a pattern over the past few weeks. Every Monday, someone brought Addie into town. Sometimes, it was Allen. Other times, Ian. But every once in a while, I got lucky and it was Ben. And it was always during my lunch hour that she walked past.
Today, I wasn’t taking a chance. I’d overheard some guys at the hardware store saying they were working a fencing job at the Kemper ranch. Allen would never let workers be at his home unsupervised. I had to hope that meant Ben would be the one bringing Addie today.
I looked up as two figures rounded the corner—Addie with a bag slung over her shoulder, and Ben beside her. I straightened from my spot and started towards them. “Addie, can I talk to you for a minute?”
She ignored me and kept walking past.
“Addie, please.”
Ben moved in closer. “Give her some time. She needs to trust that you’re back for good. And you know Addie. She doesn’t trust easily.”
I muttered a curse under my breath. Addie’s mother leaving her with her asshole of a father had done a number on her. And I’d repeated the cycle. “I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me.”
He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “She will. I promise.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“I know Addie, and I know you. Evie, you’ve never given up on something you truly wanted. And Addie has high walls, but you’ve always been able to scale them.”