Chapter Twenty-One
Ruby
I wake the next morning confused where I am, but my mind catches up as soon as the pain hits. My head aches, face sore, and when I sit up, I notice the blood staining the sleeves of my white work shirt. Memories of last night surge, and my stomach heaves. I put my shaking hands over my ears and close my eyes, trying to blank my mind of the looping images of Dan’s face and fists invading. Focusing on controlling my breathing, I stand but the room lurches and I sit back down. There’s painkillers in my bag, but will they work against the headache I have? I touch my forehead, and wince at the lump.
I survived.
Another thought intrudes: what would’ve happened if Jem hadn’t arrived? I thrust it away; I can’t go down that route. I’m here and my injuries aren’t as bad as they could’ve been. In a screwed up way, I’m lucky.
Jem’s right. This time I go to the police, take seriously the danger I’m in. I can never damage Dan the way he’s pulled me apart, but I can get him arrested and make his life hell. Who knows what will happen, or if any justice will be done, but I’m going to try.
Then I’m going to gather up the remaining pieces of Ruby and put them together.
If I could, I’d run from all of this, go somewhere nobody knows who I am. Not to hide, but to live in freedom for a while. Half an hour in the room and my mind continues its attempt to drag up the horror of last night, and I don’t want to visit that place. I head out into the quiet house and call Jax.
Jax arrives and although the shock on his face is bad, the fact he averts his eyes from the mess of mine is embarrassing. “What the f-uck happened? You said Dan had attacked you, but shit…not how bad.”
“Don’t say anything, please.” I wanted to put make-up on, but the police will need photos. For the first time, I have to show the world what Dan does to me.
“Is Jem around?”
“I don’t know.” I haven’t seen him since last night. I’m not sure what to say or what exactly our position is now. No way can I think anything through currently. “You want a drink before we go to the police?”
Jax looks around the lounge room. Of course, he’s never been in the house. I poke him. “I’d give you the guided tour, but I’m not sure I’m allowed.”
“Not without the entrance fee.” I turn to a smiling Jem who’s in the doorway, rubbing his head with a towel. He’s post-workout, damp t-shirt stretching across his abs and perspiration glistening on his taut biceps, all of which would be enough to fuel any girl’s Jem Jones fantasies. Jem’s smile disappears when he looks at my face, the action causing a twinge of pain around my mouth.
“Hey, man,” says Jax with a cautious tone.
“Hey,” he says then looks to me. “You’re coming back here after the police station?”
“If that’s okay,” I reply.
“Sure.”
“Okay.”
“Right.” Jem heads upstairs.
The amount said with so few words doesn’t escape Jax. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“I wish you’d come back with me instead.”
Last night I was adamant I’d go to Jax and the boys, since waking today, I’m too scared to go far. “I feel safer here.”
“Yeah, but why? Jem’s the reason you didn’t come to the studio yesterday, isn’t he?”
“That’s dealt with.” I head to the open door.
“Is it? Really? The more involved he gets the more likely things will go wrong.”
“For me or the band?”
“Both.”
Irritation prickles. “I’m really not up to talking about this shit now, Jax. Perhaps you should discuss your concerns with Jem.”
Jax rubs his eyebrow, the way I recognise he does when Jax is about to ask something he’s not sure he should. I can guess what. “Did you… you know. The other night after the studio when he took you home? Is that why you couldn’t face him?”
“Did I f-uck him? Just come straight out with it.”
Jax wrinkles his nose. “Yeah.”
“No, I didn’t, and I have no intention of.”
“So why avoid him?”
“He kissed me.”
Jax laughs. “A kiss? And that was enough to screw around with your head?”
At this moment, I feel like screaming at Jax but his words resonate. Why did a kiss from Jem then rejection have such a big impact? I could explain to Jax that to me there’s an intimacy in a kiss greater than sex, that kissing Jem was like opening myself up and letting him across the void between me and the world. How can a kiss be that? I don’t know, but it was and that’s why it fucked with my head.
“Shut the f-uck up, Jax,” I growl, “I’m not in the mood.”
Jax brow creases with concern. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here if that’s how you feel.”
“And I really don’t want you interfering.” I gesture at the door. “Let’s go. Get this over with.”
“Ah, Ruby…” As he approaches, Jax touches my hand and laces his fingers through mine. “I’m here if you need me. Please be sensible.”
Physical contact with Jax isn’t unusual and, despite his words outside the hotel room the night on tour, there’s nothing between us. No spark of something unknown hovers or any intense desire to keep his skin on mine. He’s Jax, a mate, and nothing else. If I mean any more to Jax, he’s hiding it.
****
Jem
Jax taking Ruby to the station is good for two reasons. Firstly, Jem Jones at a police station would have the media and Steve down on me like a ton of bricks. The other reason: distance. If I’m the one to take Ruby, I can’t keep the distance between us that I still fool myself exists.
The whole time Ruby and Jax are away from the house I attempt to channel my nervous energy into something constructive and end up on the treadmill. Music and exercise are the only things that drown out the onslaught of memories – from last night and the ones from earlier in my life.
The pair aren’t back by lunchtime so I text Jax. No response.
Keep out of it.
I call the studio manager and attempt to shift around the booking. He’s pissed off but I don’t know why, he’s getting paid. I hang up after a terse conversation and the phone rings again immediately.
“What the f-uck, Jem?”
“Wow, Steve. Hello to you, too.” There’s me thinking I could avoid talking to my manager.
“What the f-uck?” he repeats. “What the hell did you do? Were you high?”
“Stop shouting and tell me what you mean?”
“The chick from the band. Y’know, the one the media likes to hold up as Jem’s latest f-uck buddy.”
“Don’t call her that.”
“Not my words. I’m surprised you’re not at the police station, too.”
“She didn’t want me to go.”
“I bet she f-ucking didn’t!”
“Whoa. Okay, Steve, tell me exactly what this call is about.”
“You might ignore the media; but they don’t ignore you, and when the girl you’re connected to turns up at a police station with her face messed up where’d you think the finger’s pointing?”
The phone digs into my hand as I grip it tightly. “You have to be f-ucking kidding me.” No response. “Tell me you’re f-ucking kidding.”
“Tell me you didn’t. I was enjoying my break from dealing with the shit you guys get into.”
The world retreats as my head scrambles to catch up. “I cannot believe you are accusing me of this,” I say and launch into a barrage of words I normally only reserve for people like Dan. “I don’t attack women!”
“You were accused of killing one less than a year ago.”
“Too far, Steve, too f-ucking far!” I yell and hang up before things get really nasty.
Déjà vu. The cops will be on my doorstep. The media back. I sink onto the sofa and stare at the phone. The world just leapt backward several months. I can’t cope if I’m dragged into shit again. I did something good and now it’s all going wrong. Why can’t the world give me a f-ucking break?
****
Ruby
I step out of the police station with Jax, and straight into the blinding sunshine and camera flashes. Half a dozen people wait in the forecourt; a confusing crowd I barely register before I turn my back and meet Jax’s surprised eyes. People shout questions about Jem and my aching head can’t comprehend what’s happening. I’ve spent half the morning giving statements. I’ve already had my picture taken more than I’d like in the police station, and I’m exhausted and confused.
“What’s happening?” I ask Jax.
“I don’t know. Back inside.” He guides me through the sliding glass doors and into the station. I sit on an orange plastic chair in the waiting room. A police officer crosses to the door and the middle-aged man glances outside before looking back to me.
“You okay, love?” he asks.
I nod stupidly and he gives me a small smile before walking off and calling for somebody. So many kind and understanding smiles today for the beaten girl.
“I’m going to find out what the hell is going on,” Jax says and heads to the door.
I want to protest he should stay out of this, but he’s already deeply involved, besides I’ve lost my ability to cope with much more. A few minutes later, Jax returns, consternation in his blue eyes.
“What is it?” I ask.
He runs his hands into his blond fringe, pushing it from his face. “They’re saying Jem did this to you.”
“No!” I stand. “Why the f-uck would they?”
“I don’t know.”
“I have to tell them!” As I make to leave, Jax grabs my sleeve.
“Don’t. We don’t know how to deal with this.”
I yank my arm away. “Jem helped me. He never wanted to help me and now he’s being accused of this shit. Jem wouldn’t hurt me!”
“I know he didn’t, Ruby; but the media’s waiting for him to trip up.”
Tears spring into my eyes, at Jem’s life, at the way he’s been manipulated, at what he has to fight along with his demons every day. He wants to change, but the world wants to keep him demonised.
“It’s not fair! He’s a good person.” Jax opens his mouth to say something but decides against it. “Jax?”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“You don’t need to. You think I’m ignoring his bad side, don’t you? You don’t know him!”
“Do you?” asks Jax in a low voice.
I slap Jax in the chest. “Look what he’s done for us. You selfish prick!”
Jax catches my arm. “You’re vulnerable. He might take advantage. I’ve seen how he looks at you, it’s predatory.”
“Don’t be stupid!” I snap.
“Jem Jones uses people and tosses them aside. I don’t want you getting hurt by him.”
I choke on the words I want to yell, disgusted at Jax accusing Jem of being the cliché too. Instead, without another word, I walk out of the police station away from him. I stride through the middle of the media frenzy, head high. Cameras click as I walk by, but I’m not hiding. There’s nothing to hide, they can say what the f-uck they want. These people can follow me to the other end of the city if they want, but there’s one place I’m going.