We were all sitting around the table eating by the time Noah joined us. He sat in the only empty seat left which happened to be next to me. Dad and Mr. Stewart talked about work while Mom and Mrs. Stewart shared the neighborhood gossip. I was trying to recover from the intense moment in my room earlier. I would have been able to do that if Noah hadn’t been sitting right next to me. That was bad enough, but he kept finding subtle ways of touching me. What happened in my room was a mistake, even though it didn’t go very far, it went far enough. I had to be strong and put a stop to things happening between us.
Noah put his arm around the back of my chair and reached across me for some bread, which brought his face so close to mine his lips were almost touching my cheek.
Keeping my voice low, I said, “I know what you’re doing.”
“I do too, I really like garlic bread.”
“I could have passed it to you if you had asked.”
“Yeah, I know, but my way I get to look down your dress.” My eyes shot immediately to his. “Oh, by the way, your bra selection tonight…Excellent.”
I slapped my hand to my chest trying to close the gap he had been peering down.
“Please tell me your panties match,” he whispered, and then leaned back slightly, glancing down in the direction of my panties. When I looked at him, I was met with a wink and a smirk before he shoved a big piece of garlic bread in his mouth.
“Noah, congratulations,” my dad said.
Just then I felt a hand on my knee and fingers creeping under the hem of my dress. My breath hitched and my eyes darted over to Noah. I’d be completely pissed at him if his hand didn’t feel so incredible on my naked leg.
“Thank you, sir.”
How he could remain so calm, cool, and collected in front of our parents while his hand rubbed over my knee was beyond me.
“It’s pretty rare that a sophomore gets asked to join the varsity team. We’re proud of you.” My dad always thought of Noah like a son.
“His mom and I are extremely proud of him. He’s a chip off the old block,” Mr. Stewart added.
The dads laughed as if the comment was hilarious. Noah smiled at his dad while his hand began to move up my thigh. I slapped it away and inadvertently hit the table with a loud thud, causing it to shake.
“Amanda, are you okay?” Mom asked.
‘Yes. I’m fine.” Noah snorted as he tried to contain a laugh. “I was swatting a fly away.”
My mom looked at me, slightly annoyed, but maintained her cheery voice, and said, “That’s ridiculous. We don’t have flies in this house.”
“My bad,” I said.
Noah’s hand landed back on my knee. He squeezed slightly, causing a loud gasp to escape me. All four parental heads turned to look in my direction.
“Um… Mom would you please pass me the…um…”
Noah’s hand was relentless. He would squeeze my knee then rub the inside of my thigh. It was impossible for me to think or form a coherent sentence.
“The stuff in the bottle, that you…um…pour on…um…lettuce?” My pitch grew higher and higher with each word.
“You mean salad dressing?” Mom said, sarcasm flowing from her words like a torrential rain. I nodded. “You already have some on your salad.”
“I need more. Please give me more.”
She looked at me like I didn’t belong to her before passing me the dressing.
“How’s Emily?” Mrs. Stewart asked while I doused my salad.
A prideful smile appeared across my mom’s face. “She’s wonderful. She’s loving college.”
“That’s fantastic,” Mrs. Stewart said.
“In fact, she joined the debate team. She’s an extremely articulate young woman,” Mom said as she glanced in my direction. If she had any clue what was taking place under her dinner table, she might cut me some slack.
I was so out of sorts, I dropped my fork just before loading it up with salad. “I’ll get it, Tweet.”
Noah’s hand disappeared from my leg. I took the opportunity to take a drink of water trying to calm down. Noah scooted his chair back and then bent down to grab the fork.
“Dead horse!” Dad announced while holding up the empty wine bottle.
All of a sudden, I felt a pair of lips on the outer side of my thigh right above my knee. I almost did a full blown spit-take at the exact same time my dad asked, “Are we game for another?”
Noah sat back up and I had three sets of eyes glued to me. The Stewart’s eyes held pity, for my parents, no doubt. My mom’s eyes held regret that she didn’t send me for those etiquette lessons when I was younger and my dad wasn’t even paying attention to my faux pas. He was busy holding the wine bottle above his glass desperately trying to get the last drop of wine to drip out.
“I’ll go get you another bottle of wine. I’m done eating, anyway,” I said, as I wiped the spray of water from my face.
I quickly rose from the table and made my way to the kitchen to put my plate in the sink. Without stopping, I headed to the garage where we had an extra refrigerator that my parents used for their wine collection.
Standing in front of the open fridge, I realized I didn’t know if they wanted red or white. I took a bottle of each to be on the safe side. I closed the fridge and turned around coming face-to-face with a beaming Noah. I took a step back. He placed his hands against the fridge on either side of my shoulders, caging me in. He really liked caging me in.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing in there with all the touching and the kissing? You kissed my thigh under the table. The family dinner table, for god’s sake.”
“I couldn’t resist. You’re mighty tasty.” He waggled his eyebrows and moved in closer.
Holy crap on a cracker, tingles were taking over my body.
“Leave me alone for the rest of the night.” I tried to sound mad, but even I could hear the smile in my voice. It was hard to be mad at Noah, especially when what he was doing felt so amazing.
“Okay, I will.” He dropped his arms and stepped back giving me room to get by.
“Thank you.”
As I passed him going back toward the door I felt the hem of my dress rise up behind me. I quickly stepped to the side, out of his reach. “Dammit, Noah! Stop it! I can’t defend myself with these bottles in my hands.”
Holding his hands up in surrender, he said, “I thought you had a speck of something on your dress. I was just trying to help is all.” I narrowed my eyes at him before heading back into the house.
I passed on dessert, even though chocolate cake was my all-time favorite. I excused myself from the table, saying I needed to work on a paper, and went back to my room away from the glaring eyes of parents and the roaming hands and lips of my best friend.
As I sat on my bed remembering how his hands and lips felt on my skin, I could feel the heat building up inside of me. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m was just sitting there thinking about him and getting all hot and bothered. The knock on my door brought me back to the here and now. “Yeah?” My voice sounded raspy.
The door cracked open and all I saw was a floating plate with a piece of chocolate cake on it. I smiled. Then I saw my favorite pair of light blue eyes.
“I brought you some dessert.”
Noah stepped in and closed the door behind him, tapping it with his foot. He placed the cake down on my bedside table and sat across from me on the bed. He held up the fork, which was already loaded with chocolate frosting. I was still feeling the effects of dinner as I stared at my two favorite things in the entire world. I parted my lips letting out a slight sigh. We never took our eyes off of one another. He handed me the fork.
Bringing it to my mouth, I slowly slid the fork between my lips. The tip of his tongue darted out of his mouth and ran across his lower lip. He watched the movement of my lips as they curled around the fork. I heard him swallow hard as I slid the fork out of my mouth. He took it from me and as he reached over to place the fork back on the plate, his lips almost grazed my cheek.
He moved in closer and whispered, “You have a little frosting in the corner of your mouth.”
I stayed still. My eyes were completely focused on him as he hovered for a few seconds no more than a half inch away from my mouth. The temperature of my body shot up a hundred degrees. What the hell was I doing? I needed to stop this. I was so weak and stupid for allowing this to happen. Besides, both our parents were at the other end of the house. Thoughts of losing Noah sprinted across my mind. I started to panic. I could feel my chest tightening. I felt dizzy and smothered. I leaned away from him.
He pulled back and stared at me. I didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, but I forced myself to face him. He needed to understand how serious I was when I said these words.
“We can’t do this. I can’t be your girlfriend.” He stared at me for a few more seconds before turning away, staying seated on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees, and his head down.
“Why?” he asked in a raspy voice.
“I’m afraid if something happened to cause it to end, then it might f*ck things up so badly you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me after that.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“No it’s not. You remember Tyler Evans? He and Emily were close friends. Not as close as we are, but very close. They decided to cross that line and date. It lasted six months and ended badly. They couldn’t even stay friends. Emily and I saw him at the mall over the summer and he was so ugly toward her. I can’t have that happen with us.”
“We’re not them.”
“I know, but Emily does everything perfectly. If she couldn’t make it work, I sure as hell can’t. I have to have you in my life. I won’t cross that line with you. It’s too risky and I won’t chance it, not with us. I’m sorry about tonight. I never should have let things go that far.”
“I’m not sorry about what happened between us in here. Except that you won’t be with me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I can’t. Besides, you deserve better than me, Noah.”
“There isn’t anyone better than you for me,” he said, looking at me over his shoulder.
“These feelings will fade away and things will get back to normal. Our bodies are going through a lot of changes. Hormones are flying all over the place. We just need to control ourselves and ride it out.” I was trying to hold back my tears. He sat up and turned to me, showing me how crushed he felt. It was impossible not to let a few tears escape. “I can’t lose you, Noah.”
“You’d never lose me, Tweet. I’ll always be here if you need me.” He raised his hand, bringing it to my face. The tips of his fingers grazed down my jaw to my chin.
I shook my head, leaning away from him slightly. “Please Noah, I can’t,” I whispered.
In one fluid movement, his hand dropped, he stood, and walked to the door. His hand grabbed the doorknob.
“I’ll see you in the morning when Mom and I pick you up for school, right?” I asked, my voice caught in my throat.
He didn’t turn around to look at me. “I don’t need a ride tomorrow. Coach called a meeting for the team before classes. Travis is going to give me a ride.”
When he didn’t turn and look at me the nerves took over my body. My voice got shaky. “I’ll see you at school then.”
“Maybe. See ya around, Tweet.”
When I heard the door click, I fell apart completely. The ache that had been in my stomach made its way through the rest of my body. I turned over and buried my face in a pillow to hide the sounds of my sobs. I couldn’t keep my body from shaking. I was burning up inside and out. I had never felt pain this intense before. The sense of loss I had when Noah walked out of this room was all consuming. I kept telling myself that I would talk with him tomorrow. He’s upset now, but once he’s had a night to think it over, he’ll realize I’m right. Why change something that has worked perfectly for us so far?