Taking a chance that you’ll let me back in.
I’d f*cked up so much I would understand,
If you didn’t even want to be my friend.
~ Romeo’s Quest
There wasn’t a chance in hell I would be falling to sleep any time soon. Ashlyn and Ryan had finally snoozed off around three in the morning. It was now four. I stood over the sink pouring out a bottle of vodka. Sitting on the counter were three more bottles of whiskey, rum, and scotch that were empty.
Everything Ryan had gone through last night was dangerous. Every emotion he had been feeling was deadly. The last thing he needed was to wake up in the middle of the night or something and find a way to try to drown out the noises in his head.
I’d watched Dad drown out his troubles in the same way. The last thing I wanted was for Ryan to go down that same dark road. He was a good kid. Some of the papers he’d written in class had showcased how lost but brave he was. I just hoped he could remain brave.
My head shot up when I heard the back door open. Randy came walking in, followed closely by Jace, who was wearing a backpack. When Randy saw me, his eyes narrowed.
“Dan, what are you still doing up?” He glanced to the empty bottles on the countertop. Next, I received a confused look. “What’s going on?”
I sighed. My eyes moved to Jace, whose eyes were bloodshot, his body sweaty. He wasn’t even wearing a coat in the cold air. The way he was fidgeting with his fingers and blinking his eyes shut tight made me pissed.
He was using.
Randy noticed my dismay. “I found him walking down the streets in Edgewood. I couldn’t just leave him, ya know…”
Jace moved over to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair, slamming his head down on the table.
Randy frowned. He stepped closer to me. “He’s been going on and on about some Red person. Danny, you don’t think he’s dealing again, do you?” I didn’t reply. Which was a reply enough. “Shit.” Randy furrowed his brows.
“Randy, give me a few minutes with my brother,” I said, anger gracing my tone. He nodded and headed out of the room.
Jace’s head rose a little and he laughed. “Oh f*ck. Not one of the big-brother ‘I’m disappointed in you, Jace’ speeches. Please spare me.” He chuckled again. “By the way, I saw your girlfriend at the party. She’s sexy, isn’t she?”
My hands formed fists and I tapped them against the sink counter. “How many of my students did you sell to tonight? Or did you just take it all for yourself?”
“F*ck you, Danny,” Jace muttered, lowering his head.
Yeah. F*ck me. I moved over to him and reached for his backpack, which made him jerk up.
“Let go!” he hissed, trying his best to keep me from the bag.
I rolled my eyes, knowing that Jace couldn’t take me when he was fully healthy, so the idea that he thought he could while he was high was almost comical. I shoved him back down to the chair before he could blink.
I unzipped the backpack to find bags with pills galore. “You’re so f*cking stupid, Jace!” I screamed, moving over to the sink. He’d been walking down the street, high out of his mind, with a backpack filled with drugs. Clearly he wasn’t in his right mind.
“Don’t you f*cking dare!” Jace yelled, hastily standing from his chair, knocking it over.
My finger flicked on the garbage disposal and I poured one of the bags of pills into the sink.
“You’re crazy, Danny! Do you know how much that was?!” he cried, moving toward me, grabbing his bag back. “Red is going to kill me! He is going to kill me, Danny! Because of you!”
“No—you did this, Jace. You don’t get to put this on me!” I filled up a glass of water and tossed it in his face. “Wake up, Jace! Wake the hell up!”
He spat at my feet. “Go to hell.”
“Get out of here.”
“It’s my parents’ house, too!” He stumbled but he didn’t fall. “I can stay if I want!”
I grabbed his arm and yanked him to the back door, shoving him outside. “You can stay in the boat shed. But I swear to God…if you bring that shit into Mom and Dad’s house again, I will have you arrested.”
His fingers were fidgeting against him and he shook his head back and forth. “I hope you had fun with your student. Because if I get caught, so do you two.”
I slammed the door shut and a deep scream rose out of me as I kicked over the trash can. “Dammit!” I cursed, running my hands over my face. My eyes opened to see Ashlyn standing in the entrance to the kitchen. Her eyes were filled with worry and fear “Have you met my brother Jace on drugs?” I snickered sarcastically.
She frowned. “I wish I hadn’t.” She rocked back and forth ever so slightly. “He blackmailed you, didn’t he? To stay away from me?”
“He was going to destroy your reputation, Ashlyn…”
She walked my way and ran her hand against my cheek. Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed me long and deep. I wrapped one of my arms around her back.
“Let’s go to bed,” she suggested.
“Ashlyn,” I started to object. Her fingers landed against my lips.
“No. Not now. We are not going to try to figure things out right now. I’m not going to cry, and you’re not going to overthink everything. I’m not going to worry about Ryan and you’re not going to stress yourself out about Jace. We are going to bed. I am going to put on one of your CDs. You are going to turn off the lights. We will take off each other’s clothing. We will climb under the sheets. And you will make love to every inch of my body, mind, and spirit until the sun rises in a few hours. In the daylight, we’ll figure things out. In the darkness, we’ll just hold on to one another.”
She didn’t know how much I loved her. Words couldn’t express it. So I promised myself that I would use body language to showcase my love to her. I would love her in all fashions, in all styles, in all ways. I would love her on the bed, against the wall, upon the dresser. I would love her slowly, deeply, aggressively. I would love her with laughter, sadness, and joy until sunshine danced against our windowsills.
She moved over to my CD collection, picking out music and placing it into the player. When her finger swept across the play button, I smirked when I heard my band’s music softly playing from the speakers.
“Couldn’t find anything good?” I chuckled.
Her body moved in a hypnotic dance, and I watched as she moved to the beat, moved to the sounds. It wasn’t long before it appeared that the music was a part of Ashlyn. She balled up the bottom of her t-shirt and pulled it up, showing me her perfect skin.
I went to turn off the lights and she shook her head. “Lights on.”
Lights on.
“Shakes game play?” she questioned.
I laughed, my head falling to the ground. “Really? Right now?”
She grinned wide, nodding her head.
I frowned. “Because really I just want to rip off your clothes and make love to you over and over again.”
She smirked at my comment. I could see her considering the idea by the way her eyes sparkled. Her tongue wiped across her bottom lip and she shook her head. “Shakes game play.”
Shakes game play was a game Ashlyn had come up with on her own. It only had a few rules. Rule number one: One person quotes something from a William Shakespeare play. Rule number two: The other person must guess what play it was from. If player two guessed right, player one removed an article of clothing. If they didn’t, the clothes stayed on until the next round.
We faced one another, her body still swaying back and forth, a beautiful grin on her full lips. She seductively heightened her shirt, pulling it past her belly button.
“'Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once.’”
I grinned, rubbing my hand under my chin. “Julius Caesar.”
Her shirt heightened, moving across her beautiful breasts and over her head. The shirt landed between us on the floor. Her eyebrow arched in my direction as she stood in her pink bra.
For a moment, I stared at her stunning curves. Ashlyn Jennings was a Goddess. And I was just a man, completely overtaken by my beautiful Goddess. There was no doubt in my mind—my only job in this lifetime was to love her.
“Daniel,” she giggled, blushing at my eyes on her.
“'If music be the food of love, play on.’”
She ran her hands up and down her sides in thought. I felt my jeans twitch from watching her touch her fingers across her body.
“Twelfth Night,” she said matter-of-factly.
My shirt came off next. I tossed it into the pile. I listened to her moan lightly, staring at me. Her eyes were thirsty, and I promised myself I would fulfill her desire. She bit her bottom lip, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap her body against mine, but I was patient.
“‘Speak low if you speak of love,’” she quoted from Much Ado About Nothing.
When I told her the answer, she nodded twice. Her fingers slipped into the sides of her shorts and she wiggled her hips, sliding them down to the ground. She used her toes to kick them to our ever-growing pile of clothing.
“‘My bounty is as boundless as the sea. My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have. For both are infinite.’” I said the quote and meant it more than she could ever know. Her eyes watered over and she placed her hands over her heart. “Don’t cry,” I smiled.
She laughed, shrugging as a tear fell down her cheek. “I cry a lot. Just learn to accept that fact about me.” I accept. Her lips parted again and she released an exhale. “Romeo and Juliet.”
I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, and she held a finger up, stopping me. I narrowed my eyes. Her feet tiptoed toward me and her hands moved to my jeans. She slid them down my legs, bending lower and lower with every inch that the jeans fell. Her lips lay against the edge of my boxers and she gave me small kisses.
I felt her hot breaths exhaling against my skin. My body reacted to her small contact. It responded even more when her tongue slipped out of her mouth and she lowered my boxers slightly. Her tongue danced around my hips, running up and down, making my desire for her expand. Only for her.
“I do that to you?” she whispered against me, her hand gliding over the fabric of my boxers, her fingers gently touching. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. You do that to me. She studied my body, sliding her hand inside my boxers.
“Ash…” I muttered, loving how she knew me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her up to me. I stared down into her green eyes and moved my lips to hers. My tongue slipped inside of her mouth and her tongue danced with mine.
Taking my hands around her waist, I moved her to the wall. She moaned as I pressed my body to hers. Her panties slightly touched my boxers and she cried out when I pushed my hips against her. Her hips moved back and forth against me, forcing me to groan into her mouth.
“Do you love me?” she exhaled heavily.
“Yes,” I sighed against her neck, my teeth gliding against her skin.
“Show me.” Her hands slid her panties down. Then she removed my boxers, allowing me to step out of them. “Show me how you love me.”
I reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, allowing it to fall to the ground. My hand wrapped under her right thigh, lifting her leg from the ground. I placed her leg against my waist, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. My hardness pressed against her, and I listened to her cry out in pleasure.
“I love you slowly,” I said, clasping my hands under her thighs. I thrust into her tightness, loving the way she invited me in. Her mouth gaped open and I paused, allowing her to become comfortable with me inside. “I love you deeply.” I lifted her other leg up around my waist, supporting her completely. My mouth moved to her earlobe, and I whispered as I sucked it slowly, “I love you quietly.” My hips rolled against her, my breaths heavy, hungry. “I love you powerfully.” Her head fell against the wall, her breaths mere pants. “I love you unconditionally.”
My lips roamed to her breasts, kissing them, licking them, sucking them. My teeth glazed against her left nipple and then my tongue flicked it over and over again before I sucked it, loving the way she moaned my name. She increased her movements as I pounded into her.
“I love you gently and hard, slow and fast. Before time and after.” My hand moved to the back of her head and I traveled her to the bed, laying her down with me still inside. “I love you because I was born to do so.” Our hips moved in harmony, our bodies becoming one. Her love was breathing life into my entire being.
Before her, I never knew life. After her, I’d never know death.
Our bodies reached true bliss that night over and over again. We made love with our toes curling against the mattress, our hearts pounding against our chests.
Nothing else mattered in the world. All the problems were silenced within the bedroom that one, cold December night. We blocked out all loud noise, all hurts.
I continued loving Ms. Jennings until our eyes faded to rest.
And then I loved her in my dreams.