Words sat on my tongue, desperate to get out. It took me a moment to clear my head, form a coherent sentence. “You needed to talk to me so badly that you kicked my door down.”
Nothing from him.
“Jimmy, does that sound like a normal friendship to you?”
“I know. I fucked up,” he said, voice rough.
“What did you do?” Fear filled me. Apart from the paleness he seemed okay, pupils normal. Please god let him not have taken anything.
“You.”
“Me?”
“You. Today. I fucked up. I’m sorry, Lena, I just … I’m sorry. Shit just came out my mouth and I knew it wasn’t right.” He winced. “I’m sorry.”
“Honestly, Jimmy, the words just aren’t cutting it for me right now.”
“What do I do then? Tell me. I don’t know how to do this stuff,” he said. “React right.”
“What did you mean to do?”
“I wanted to fix things, but I just broke them more.” Eyes agitated, he gritted his teeth. “In the band, there was always the music to smooth things over if shit got out of hand. If the music’s going right everything else just falls away. But there’s nothing like that here with you. I don’t know what to do when it gets messed up.”
“You talk to me, Jimmy. You don’t go crazy yelling and you don’t get mean. You just come and you talk to me about it,” I said. “It’s that hard, and that simple.”
He made no reply.
“Why did you flip out when you saw me holding Dean’s hand?”
“I don’t know.” He gave a low growl and drew back, staring me in the face. “Just tell me what to do to apologize. What do you want? I’ll buy you whatever.”
“I don’t want you to buy me anything.”
“Well, what can I do?”
“Nothing,” I said, because asking for him naked was probably out of the question. Begging him to never again have anything to do with Liv Anders probably ran a close second. “You can fix my door. That would be nice.”
“Of course I’ll fix the door, but you’ve gotta want more than that.” He seemed so adamant, eyes alight with fervor for the idea of making reparations. Problem was, I couldn’t have what I really wanted. We’d already established that.
“Fine,” I said. “Let’s go for a drive in the Barracuda to my favorite ice cream parlor.”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
“But.” My pointy finger of doom hovered in front of his face. “I’m driving.”
His mouth opened.
“Non-negotiable. You just asked how you can make it up to me and I’m telling you how. I’m driving the Barracuda and you’re riding shotgun. You don’t make comments about my driving and you act happy.”
He gave me a snotty look. “Fine. But just to get ice cream.”
“Absolutely, Jimmy.”
# # #
“You think you’re clever, don’t you?”
I smiled and huddled in against his side, using him as a buffer against the wind. His big hard body had to be useful for something. It was so damn cold, my teeth were chattering. “Who me?”
He raised a brow and licked at his waffle cone, topped with pistachio icy goodness. I didn’t stare at his tongue. My gaze just so happened to wander in its general direction is all, not the least bit my fault.
“Isn’t the salty ocean air bracing, Jimmy?”
“Yours is melting.”
“Oh.” I dealt with the triple caramel delight before it could drip off my fingers. “Mm, yum. Best ice cream ever. Didn’t I tell you they had the best ice cream here?”
“Yes you did. Many, many times on the hour and a half drive out here.”
“Hey, I could have taken us to Seattle.” I shrugged down deeper into my coat. “Be thankful. I let you off easy.”
“Right.”
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?”
He gave me a look of much judgment.
“Admit it.”
The faintest of smiles passed over his lips.
“Can we sit in the car already, I’m freezing?”
“No. You’re not dripping ice cream in my car, Lena. That’s all leather upholstery, a classic automobile, have some respect.”
“I can’t believe you care more about a thing than you do for my comfort.” My cell buzzed silently in my pocket. “Three missed calls.”
Jimmy leaned over, getting in my space. Pity I liked having him there so much. “You meant to be doing something with Dean tonight?”
“I forgot.” I flicked through the voice to text messages. “Crap.”
“He seems a bit pissed in the last one.”
“Says the guy who kicked in my bedroom door.” I texted Dean back a brief apology.
“Don’t think he’ll be pleased. That didn’t sound very sorry.”
“Yeah, well, you confused the hell out of that situation with your carrying on earlier. And it could have occurred to Dean that I might be just a little upset after that scene with you.”
He stared out at the black expanse of the ocean. Waves crashed on the shore. “Said I’m sorry.”
“Saying your sorry isn’t an immediate fix all, Jimmy. Actions have repercussions, you of all people should know that.”
A pause. “You haven’t asked about Liv.”
My whole body tightened, I’d been trying damn hard not to think about Liv. Actually asking about her seemed plain suicidal. “Should I have? I guess I figured that was none of my business.”
“I took her to a hotel and we talked for a while. I called just to check in with you.” He wandered a few steps over to the trashbin, dumped his ice cream cone. The broad expanse of his back in the black woolen jacket a sharper shadow against the rest of the view.
“You did?” I asked, surprised.
“Yeah. You didn’t answer.”
“No, I was asleep.”