Lead (A Stage Dive Novel)

Carrying on? For fuck’s sake. There was a lot I could say in response, but all of it came with the distinct possibility of putting Dean straight back in the firing line. “Duly noted.”

 

“Great.”

 

“Awesome.”

 

He just glared at me.

 

Therefore, I got the last word in and I won. Take that, you god damn arrogant tyrannical shithead. I didn’t know if he was jealous or what, but perhaps he’d snap and fire me this time. He certainly seemed angry enough, his eyes promising all sorts of damage. Part of me almost hoped he would, my heart hammering inside my chest. Do it, do it, do it.

 

“That’s enough,” he snapped.

 

“I didn’t say anything.”

 

“You didn’t need to.”

 

True enough. We could read each other far too well at times.

 

Everyone had frozen sometime during our verbal combat, all the better to watch the carry-on. Even Liv the movie star seemed discomforted by the scene. Her head turned this way and that, eyes wide with obvious confusion.

 

Then Mal let out a loud wailing noise. “I hate it when mommy and daddy fight!”

 

The crazed drummer barreled up the stairs in a dramatic exit. If Dean and I hadn’t flattened ourselves against the wall we’d have been knocked over. David choked on a laugh, Ben at least had the good grace to turn his back before he cracked up, and behind them, Taylor and Pam said nothing. The movie star still had the oblivious thing going on. Then her hand crept beneath Jimmy’s arm, her fingers wrapping around his strong bicep and squeezing before her fingers dropped away.

 

“Jimmy?”

 

He sort of started, the anger dropping from his face. “Yeah, Liv. Why don’t we go out?”

 

I could see why the woman had made millions, her smile lit up the room. Fortunate for me and my sensibilities, Jimmy’s face remained more reserved.

 

“Can I have a word with you first?” I asked him. We needed to clear the air about this handholding business. That, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving with her, of what might happen between them next. I just wasn’t ready. Another minute or two maybe and I’d be fine, if we could just fix this latest fight.

 

“Not now,” he said.

 

“But—”

 

“Not now.” His voice was a whip and it cut through me sure and true.

 

The guys amusement cut off dramatically.

 

“Jim,” said David, face serious.

 

“Stay out of it, Dave.” Jimmy held out his hand to Liv and she took it. Apparently, the matter of me had been closed.

 

“We’ll head off,” said Ben, giving me worried looks as he passed me on the stairs.

 

I smiled back determinedly. “Later, guys.”

 

God, did everyone know about my great unrequited love?

 

Or no, my boss’s sweet words had gotten them worked up. Perhaps they thought I’d burst into tears. Like hell, it would take more than harsh words from Jimmy Ferris to do that. Dean now stood apart from me, concerned for his job no doubt, which was fair enough. We’d gone on one whole date, not enough to throw your career away over. When David went past, he reached out, grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I don’t know how Jimmy reacted because I followed his brother straight up the stairs without looking back. Didn’t mean I wouldn’t make him regret the put-down later, however.

 

Liv said something down behind me and Jimmy answered in a suitably subdued voice. I didn’t want to know what.

 

I’d asked for this, told Jimmy to date, pushed him into it even. But then he’d made me date too and then torn into me for daring to hold someone’s hand. Rage boiled up inside of me, an inferno’s worth. I didn’t need to fetch shit. Jimmy was going out, he didn’t really care about the interview info. Instead of doing my duty, I power walked my fine self up to the second floor. I didn’t run, because to run would insinuate I was some sort of coward making an escape. I didn’t slam my bedroom door shut either, calmly locking it instead.

 

Everything was fine.

 

I was okay.

 

And Jimmy Ferris could go fuck himself.

 

 

 

 

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