"What'd he do?"
"Asked me to marry him—again."
"Wow, what a bastard."
"What'll it be, girlie?" Al asked, shouting over to me from the end of the mostly empty bar.
"Diet Coke with lime," I said loudly. Marlo had called me an hour before and asked me to meet her at Al's to "drown her sorrows" after her day shift. I hadn't known exactly what that meant at the time, but now I did.
"So, Sam, the evil bastard, has asked you to commit to letting him shower you with love for a lifetime. How quickly do you think we can gather a posse with pitchforks to hunt him down?"
She heaved out a breath and sat down next to me. "Har har. Make fun. But I told him I was never going to marry him. I told him, and he won't give it up. He's making my life a living hell."
Go to hell. I do. Every day. For you.
I turned toward her on the stool. "You're not in love with him, Mar?"
She sat there just looking straight ahead. "I mean, I guess I love him. A little."
"Wow. The romance is overwhelming." I rolled my eyes. "Don't bowl me over with too much of that love-talk, Shakespeare."
Marlo laughed softly. "Seriously, Tenleigh, listen. I just don't want to get let down. I finally feel comfortable, safe, and marriage changes things. I'm just not sure I can trust him. I don't want to love him and then have him walk away," she said, looking at me sadly. "And once they know you love them, that's when they all walk away. You know I'm right," she finished quietly.
I took a sip of the Coke Al put in front of me, nodding thanks to him. "Marlo, I think . . ." I bit my lip picturing Sam's face, the way he gazed at Marlo as if she hung the moon. "What more does Sam have to do? I mean, he's been trying for more than four years, and he's never given up. Frankly, you're lucky he hasn't. You must be a real pain in the ass to be in a relationship with."
She furrowed her brows, but then let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, you're right. It's just . . . you don't remember because you were just a baby, but I remember when Dad left. I loved him, Tenleigh. He was the first man I ever loved, and he just walked out of here and never even said goodbye to me. All these years, he never checked on us once. Not once. That's what I know of love." She shook her head sadly. "And even after that, I still held out hope there would be someone who would love me the right way. And well, we all know how that worked out."
"Yeah! You ended up with a good, decent guy who begs you to marry him." I sighed. "I don't think you can judge every man by one or two who let you down. And Dad, well, that wasn't your fault. But that Donald, maybe there were a few clues there that he was mostly untrustworthy or maybe you just didn't take long enough to find out. And listen, you're right. I get it. You know I do. Kyland . . . for so long I just couldn't understand what he'd done. Even now, the lying part still hurts. Everything I knew of him told me he spent his life doing things for other people in this selfless way. And then . . ." I shook my head. "But Sam, Sam who moved to Appalachia to fix people's teeth out of the goodness of his heart. What has Sam ever done except treat you like gold and pay for our mama's hospital care? Good grief, what more can the guy do to prove to you that you can trust him, that he's a good guy, that he loves you?"
She studied her fingernails. "Well, actually, that's another thing we were fighting about." She looked up at me. "Apparently, he isn't paying for mama's care. The truth is, he doesn't have that kind of money. He used all his savings to move here and open his practice and well, you know what he gets paid. He gets paid in cornbread and trapped muskrat half the time." She shook her head.
"What?" I breathed. "Then who . . . who's paying for it?" Confusion swirled through my mind. What in the world?
She shook her head. "He wouldn't say. He just said he had worked it out with someone who wanted to remain anonymous. He lied. So see, he is capable of lying—even if it's for something that was mostly for us. What else is he capable of lying about? And then he has the gall to ask me to marry him?"
Oh my God. My heart dropped into my feet.
"I have to go," I said, standing up suddenly. "Oh my God, Mar. I have to go."
"Wait. What? Where are you going? I wasn't done drowning my sorrows! Sam's not picking me up for an hour. Sam, remember? Lying, nagging Sam."
"Sam can help you wallow," I said shakily, taking a couple dollars out of my wallet and throwing it on the bar. I knew if she was letting Sam pick her up, she couldn't be all that mad at him. She'd just needed reassurance.
"Your money's no good here," Al said, swiping up my money and putting it in his tip jar anyway.
I turned toward Marlo, taking her shoulders in my hands and shaking her slightly.
"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice shaking along with her body.
"I'm shaking some sense into you," I said.
"Wait, you're the one with the motto—"
"Screw my motto. Screw your motto. Talk to him, Mar. Let him explain. Listen to him and stop being so damn hardheaded. He might hurt you. But he might not. He might not. I'm placing my bets on Sam. And I love you more than anyone in this world. I would only ever bet in your favor. Stop letting the past control you—look at what's right in front of you." I let go of her shoulders, squeezed her tightly, and kissed her on her cheek as she gaped at me. "Look at what's right in front of you." I ran out to my car, tore out of the parking lot, and pulled onto the highway. I forced myself to take several deep breaths. My hands clenched the wheel as I tried to get my thoughts straight.
Oh, Kyland.
Tears sprung to my eyes as the truth slammed into my chest, making me feel weak and breathless. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Kyland, you stupid, prideful, beautiful, selfless man.
A small sob came up my throat, but I swallowed it down and again, forced myself to relax.
I was right. I knew I was right. It all suddenly clicked into place. All— As I turned to drive up the hill, my car sputtered and lurched before it died. I let out a frustrated cry as I maneuvered it to the side of the road. I turned the key in the ignition, but the engine wouldn't turn over. I let my head fall to the wheel, banging it lightly several times. Well, there went my car luck. My heart was pounding in my chest as I jumped out and started running.
This was just like that day, the day I'd run up this very hill, my heart beating triple time, my love for Kyland beating out of my chest.
I looked at the rock I'd sat on to make that stupid, stupid list, letting out a small sob as I raced past it.
Kyland, Kyland, Kyland.
What did you do?
God, what did you do?
Go to hell. I do. Every day. For you.