Not two seconds later, a cheer goes up and that is the moment Jeremiah puts his arm around my waist, saying, ‘Not a single one of them is going to remember this night, but us.’
That is all that needs saying and then we are waltzing through the dark, covering ground across the open space, moving farther away from the ruckus. Jeremiah’s steps are long and sure, his hand cupping my shoulder blade, telling me where to go. He lifts his arm and pushes me under to make a turn, and as I spin, I catch sight of Jennie Chalmers and her billowing skirts, dancing at the other end of the parade ground with Captain, the fiddle washing over all of us, everything else fading into the night.
I don’t know how long we dance like that when a yell goes up and all kinds of laughing. Jeremiah and me turn as one to see about the fuss. Someone has built a bonfire at the edge of the parade ground, and in the light, other pairs of boys dance and Hiram’s two whores put on a show to make any decent person blush. But that ain’t where the hooting is coming from.
Will is hanging on that boy with the torn-up leg, Milo, and Edward and Hiram and a few others there watch, the fire playing on their faces.
I don’t even try explaining to Jeremiah. I scurry to where Will is leaning to kiss that boy on the mouth, making the others gathered around hoot and slap their knees all over again.
‘Will!’ I holler as I get close, and he turns lazily toward me, loose-limbed from drink.
Hiram jeers, ‘Aw now, Ross, don’t spoil our fun! It ain’t every day we get to watch a real gal-boy in action!’
‘I ain’t spoiling nothing,’ I say. ‘I’m just aiming to get myself a word with the finest dancing Chaplain you ever saw.’
‘Oh, hi there, Ross,’ Will slurs, nearly falling as I take up his free hand, leaving Milo standing there looking so confused the other boys start laughing again.
‘You got cut in on by a real lady!’ Sully laughs, and I pray Jeremiah is right that none of these boys will remember a thing come morning.
‘Being a Chaplain must get powerful lonely, is all I got to say,’ Edward calls.
‘You come on with me,’ I say, and when he leans his head on my shoulder it is a dead weight, the vapor coming off him thick.
I practically drag Will to the edge of the field. Jeremiah is standing where I left him, but when we get away from the light of the bonfire and the other boys, he comes to help me get Will off the field.
‘What were you doing, Rosetta?’ he hisses as he takes up Will’s other arm.
‘That’s a pretty name,’ Will says. ‘So pretty …’
‘I ain’t the only one that’s got secrets,’ I tell Jeremiah.
IN THE MORNING, I can’t even finish washing myself. I stand up and stride back to the fort, past our tent. There’s a few boys stirring, all of them looking sick as dogs. I nod to Thomas Stakely working on a fire, Ambrose sitting next to it, holding his head, but I don’t stop as I go past on my way straight for Captain’s tent and the company of Jennie Chalmers.
She is there, bending low feeding kindling to the fire, a kettle hanging over the flames. I don’t say a thing, just stand there watching. When she straightens and turns, she lets out a little yip. I look around, making sure there ain’t a body around who might see me talking to the Captain’s wife.
‘I apologize,’ I say. ‘I wasn’t meaning to scare you.’
‘Ross! I’m so glad you’ve come! I thought I saw you dancing last night, but then I wasn’t sure …’ She smiles, but there is a new narrowness to her face.
‘Are you well?’ she asks, coming closer and touching my elbow.
‘Mostly.’ It is true, seeing as how I am still living. ‘And you?’ I ask.
‘Likewise. But how have you been?’ she asks, her voice dipping down low, searching my face.
There’s things I can’t tell anyone, so I say what’s easiest. ‘I’ve been fine,’ I say, and then I can’t stop myself from adding, ‘One of the boys from home, he ain’t come back with us, and another one passed on.’
‘Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Jennie says.
‘You’ve been visiting the hospital?’
‘I go every day. There’s so many—’ She shakes her head. ‘Were you thinking of coming?’
‘No, I don’t think I can now,’ I say. ‘I tried nursing some at Bull Run, but I—’
‘My husband says you were an excellent battlefield nurse.’ Jennie checks her kettle and then moves to add more kindling to the fire. ‘Would you like coffee?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘I’ve got something that needs asking. Is Captain …?’
‘He’s gone to a meeting. Would you care to sit?’
I nod and we move to the folding wooden chairs by the table. I don’t know how else but to come right out with it.
‘You ever heard of a woman missing her time and not having a child on her?’ I ask.
Jennie’s hands fly to her mouth, making a little prayer-tent shape there in front of her lips. Finally she takes her hands away.