‘No. But sh – he – saved me. Where is he?’
‘Gone. I was one of those helping survivors off the boats. He was lying face down underneath you. He seemed unconscious, but when the boat hit the wharf he shoved you off, went up the steps like a monkey and ran away down Oyster Street. We called after him – he seemed injured, holding one arm tight across his chest. But he just kept running. You didn’t know him?’
‘No. I only wondered what happened to him. He pulled me onto the spar. Tell me, did any officers survive?’
‘No. They were all under the netting.’
I remembered West arguing with Carew and the master. So he was dead too, they all were. Vividly, in bright, terrible flashes, I saw Leacon’s company falling into the sea, sinking to the bottom in an instant.
I SLEPT INTERMITTENTLY. The man who had been groaning became quiet; he must have died, for I saw Edwin and his fellows carry a body out, draped in a blanket. It was worse being awake; I kept seeing, again and again, the deaths of Leacon and his men. Then I would remember them tramping down the country lanes, the arguments and jokes and little kindnesses; Leacon riding at the front with Sir Franklin, hating the sound of drums. Edwin and his colleague gave me more to drink, and later tried to make me take a little soup, but I could not bear to eat.
Next time I woke it was daylight. I felt rested now, in body at least. I looked at the man on the sacks next to me, a young sailor. He said something in Spanish. I was too tired to remember the few words I knew and shook my head apologetically. I struggled to get to my feet, but only managed three faltering steps before my head swam and I had to grasp at a pillar. Edwin limped towards me. ‘You’re still weak, sir,’ he said. ‘You were insensible some time, you should lie down again. Try to eat something.’
‘I can’t.’ A horrible thought struck me. ‘Have any of the king’s officials been here?’
He laughed bitterly. ‘No. The royal party haven’t left South Sea Castle and the tents.’
‘The Queen – is she there?’
‘No. At Portchester. The only visitor we’ve had is from the town council; they’re arguing with Governor Paulet over whether they or the army should pay for the care of those here.’ He gave me that inquisitive look again. ‘Were you expecting someone?’
I shook my head. I let go of the pillar, and staggered back to my sacks.
WHEN NEXT I woke night had fallen again. I was conscious of someone sitting next to me and sat up with a start. It was Barak, on a stool, with a lamp next to him.
‘Jack?’ I asked hesitantly, for my dreams had been peopled with phantoms.
He took a deep breath. ‘Ay.’
‘How did you get here?’
‘When you didn’t arrive at Petersfield I rode back to Hoyland to see if they had news of you or Emma. They said neither of you had returned so I rode down here. I arrived this morning and learned Leacon’s company had gone down with the Mary Rose. I could see the top of the masts sticking out of the water. I thought you were fucking dead,’ he burst out in sudden anger. ‘Then I learned some survivors had been brought here and came to see.’
‘I was on the aftercastle, I managed to get off into the water. Emma rescued me.’
‘She lives too?’
‘Yes, but when the boat brought us ashore she ran away. On the ship – I told Leacon who she was; he made her take off her jack and helmet, open her shirt. I exposed her as a woman. But it saved her. Jack, they’re all gone. Leacon, Carswell, Llewellyn, everyone we knew.’ Tears sprang to my eyes. ‘It was my fault, it was because of me that Rich put them on that ship – ’ I started to weep.
Then Barak did something I would never have expected – he leaned forward and took me in his arms.
LATER I WAS able to sit up. I told Barak the story – my imprisonment by West, the scenes on the aftercastle, escaping via the walkway and being helped by Emma in the water. He told me he had picked up some letters that had been delivered to Hoyland – Tamasin was well, but worried that he had not returned to London. Guy said Coldiron was becoming troublesome and surly over his protectiveness towards Josephine.
‘That doesn’t surprise me,’ I said.
He did not reply for a moment, then burst out angrily, ‘Why didn’t you send me a message?’
‘I’m sorry. All I could think of was that our friends died because of me.’
‘If it hadn’t been George Leacon’s company, it would have been another, a different set of women and children mourning.’
‘But knowing them – ’ I shook my head desperately – ‘knowing them makes all the difference.’
‘It was Richard Rich put them on the Mary Rose,’ he said.
‘Because he knew West was there. I saw them fall into the water. They never had a chance. I should have died with them: that would have been justice.’