The depth of her anger and the conviction he must have seen on her face stunned him momentarily. Then he said, “I never thought you would say something so ridiculous. You’re insane.”
“You’ve never seen what I’m capable of, Liam.” And there was something in her tone that was so evenly calm and yet so chilling she wondered if she was having some sort of psychological break. He must’ve heard it, too, because for once he kept his mouth shut, and she could see the worry that creased his forehead. The doubt that showed itself in his eyes. The look on his face told her that he might have finally realized he’d gone too far and there was a reason you didn’t back wounded animals into a corner: They always came out swinging. Then he turned on his heel and walked back into the building.
She kept it together on the drive home, although she didn’t remember any of it, and she barely made it into her driveway before screeching to a halt and slamming the car into park. She laid her head on the steering wheel. The tears came then, great heaving sobs that shook her body.
She’d heard a song when she was on her way to check into the Holiday Inn Express the night she left Liam. It was on a playlist she’d been listening to in the car on her way to work in the morning, and it was the Dixie Chicks’ version of Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide,” which had always been one of Layla’s favorite songs.
Tears rolled down her face as she drove. Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? She didn’t know the answer to those questions that night. She was, at that moment, smack-dab in the middle of the hardest season of her life, and she didn’t know if she could handle it.
But she had, and she was not going back to that shitty time in her life.
Layla let out one final heaving sob but kept her forehead on the steering wheel, too spent to get out of the car. She liked to think that maybe she was on the brink of one of those good seasons, and if the hard one had taught her anything, it was that it had made her stronger.
She barely registered the car door opening and then she heard Josh’s voice as he crouched down next to the driver’s seat and said, “Hey,” in a voice that was so soft and gentle the word felt like he’d wrapped her in a soft blanket.
She lifted her head from the steering wheel and laid it on his chest. “Hey.” Norton pushed his face into the mix, and his cold nose nuzzled her wet face.
Josh didn’t ask questions. He rubbed her back and finally she looked up and dragged her sleeve across her tear-swollen face. He kissed her forehead so tenderly that she started crying again. “Take Norton and go inside. I’ll put your car in the garage,” Josh said.
She nodded and he handed her Norton’s leash and they traded places. Once inside, she washed her face and changed her clothes, and they did not cook together that night. Josh ordered takeout and urged Layla to eat. If Liam was baggage, Layla had just dragged the biggest suitcase she owned into the equation as she told Josh every shitty thing he’d done to her and how much this worried her and how hard she would fight. Maybe it was too early to say the things she said, but this was her reality and Josh could take it or leave it.
Besides, they’d started breaking every one of those new-relationship rules the night Layla told Josh they existed in the first place.
And now, she was fairly certain they were both too invested to care.
chapter 41
Layla
The crowd clapped and shouted when Brian and Layla took the stage on a Friday night. Brian’s friend had once again asked Brian to cover his gig at the bar he and Layla had played at on New Year’s Eve. No food poisoning this time; he just wanted the weekend off, and Brian and Layla were more than happy to take his place. And this time Layla had invited Tonya and Annie and their spouses.
And Josh, of course.
If Layla had enjoyed herself on New Year’s Eve, it was nothing compared to the way she felt now, guitar in hand and Josh and her friends sitting up front at the table she’d reserved for them. She took it all in—the applause and the energy she drew from the crowd. Their smiling faces. They closed out their second set with “Thankful,” and everyone Layla and Brian had invited cheered loudly. Annie got out of her seat and sang along, giving them her own personal standing ovation at the end. It was the first time they’d played the song for a live crowd, and when the applause finally died down, Brian let them know where they could purchase it if they were so inclined.
During the break, Josh was right there, his arm slung around her shoulders, mingling with Layla’s friends like he’d known them for years. “Are you having a good time?” she asked him.
“I’m having a great time,” he said, and he tipped her chin up and gave her a quick kiss that sent shivers up and down her arms.
Layla excused herself to go to the restroom, and Tonya went with her. “Good Lord, you should have seen the way Josh looked at you while you were up there doing your thing,” Tonya said as they were washing their hands. “That man is smitten.”
Layla was well aware of the way Josh had been looking at her. She had mixed feelings about it, because as much as she enjoyed being the recipient of his adoring gaze, it stirred up some memories of her early days with Liam. “That’s how I lure them in, apparently.”
“What do you mean?” Tonya asked.
Layla leaned toward the mirror and reapplied her lipstick. “It feels a little like I’m repeating a pattern. New gig, new guy. I’ve never admitted it out loud, but there were times I wondered if Liam had only been interested because I was the lead singer in a popular band.”
Shiny, shiny Layla.
“And yes, I do know how ridiculous that sounds.”
“If that was true, it was Liam’s problem. Not yours. You are way more than just a girl in a band.”
Deep down, Layla knew Tonya was right. But sometimes it was hard to accept it herself. “Tonight feels really good. I feel like I’m being true to my authentic self. The one that sort of disappeared into someone else’s idea of what that should be.”
“Then maybe it’s not a pattern. Maybe it’s a do-over,” Tonya said.
“Do you know what else I’m going to do? I’m taking back my name. I’ve been meaning to do it, but I’ve been dragging my feet because I have to take the day off and go to the Social Security office and stand in line and that sounds about as appealing as going to the DMV. But after what happened the other day when Liam had me served in the school parking lot, I never want to hear my old name come out of anyone’s mouth ever again. I just want to be Layla Hilding. I am going to walk out of there feeling like I’m me again, and I have never wanted to check an item off my to-do list as much as I want to check off this one.”
“Atta girl,” Tonya said. “That is something we will definitely need to celebrate. Ready to get back out there? It’s about time for you to get up on that stage and entertain me.”