Some couples had another baby. Some made a career change that buoyed the mood of the household and thus, the whole family. Some bought a vacation property where they could relax and tell themselves how good it would be for the relationship. “This was all we needed,” they’d tell themselves when they were back on solid ground again.
Liam always found a new job, one that came with enough money to get them out of whatever financial mess he’d apparently gotten them into. Layla would feel relieved because the problem she had no idea how to keep solving would be solved by Liam instead, which only seemed fair since he was the one who’d gotten them into the mess in the first place.
In this case, after three weeks of grueling interviews, Liam landed his highest-paying job yet, leveling up to the role of regional sales manager. It was a much better job than the one he’d had—with a much higher salary—and would you believe it, it came with a sign-on bonus, too. One that was more than enough to appease the mortgage company for the down payment on the new house.
“We’re going to be so happy in that house, Layla,” he said that night when they went out to dinner to celebrate. He’d ditched the bathrobe and he strutted into that restaurant dressed to the nines and holding Layla’s hand like a man who was on top of the world.
There was nothing else they could buy.
Maybe, now, Liam would finally be happy.
“Once we get moved in and settled, maybe you can go off the pill. You said you were going to, but I saw them in the bathroom the other day.”
That was true. She had told him she would stop taking them soon, but she’d kept on filling the prescription anyway. She was almost thirty-five and the babies would have to be closer together than the three years she’d originally envisioned between them, and that was only if she could replace some of her current indifference with the love she had once felt for Liam.
“I really want to have a family,” he said. So, maybe there was still something Liam wanted after all.
Layla wanted one, too, but she would not bring a baby into a home that wasn’t happy.
They could go to counseling.
They could have a date night every Saturday, no excuses.
She could take up golf.
Maybe if things improved, Layla would feel secure enough to start the family Liam so desperately wanted.
Things will get better, she thought. Stay positive, she told herself. But red flags had a way of looking pink when you viewed them through rose-colored glasses.
chapter 43
Josh
Josh and Layla went out to dinner and then took Norton for a long walk. Dirty melting snow covered the sidewalk and speckled the dog’s white fur as he splashed through the puddles, necessitating a bath when they returned to Josh’s place. Layla helped wrestle him into a bathtub filled with warm water as Norton flailed about, shaking and dodging their hands as the water turned gray.
“I’m taking Friday off,” Layla said. Norton shook for a good ten seconds after the final rinsing, drenching them both. “I’m going to the Social Security office to fill out the paperwork to take back my name.”
“Sounds like Friday’s a big day for you.” Josh envied how much further along Layla was in tying up the loose ends of her divorce. Sometimes he felt he was still stuck in the starting blocks and sometimes it shocked him that he and Kimmy each had their own place, their own routine. Would Kimmy change her name, or would she keep it because of Sasha? It didn’t matter at this point, because until they signed the damn papers, neither of them would be moving forward on anything. Josh threw a towel over Norton and rubbed him vigorously, and when he escaped, the dog all but mowed Layla down in his haste to get out of the bathroom and away from them. Josh helped her up and now they were both as wet as the dog. “Want to meet for lunch after you’re done at the Social Security office? I’m finishing up a job in the morning and I haven’t scheduled anything for the afternoon.”
“Definitely,” she said.
He reached over and peeled her out of her shirt. Her lacy bra was wet, too, so that clearly needed to go. “Guess where I’m taking you right now?” Josh asked, taking off his own soaked T-shirt.
She looked sexy as hell when she said, “Straight into a warm shower and then your equally warm bed, I would hope.”
In response, he reached over and turned on the shower and as they waited for the water to heat up, he took off the rest of her clothes. She reached for the button on his jeans and popped it open. She lowered his zipper with so much enthusiasm that—if Josh had been a younger man—it might have caused him to finish a bit prematurely because the feeling of being desired was like a drug he would never get tired of. He wanted to be with a woman who wasn’t going through the motions like it was a chore she had to complete before she was able to do what she really wanted. Josh had once said to Kimmy, “I’d rather you just shoot me down before anything gets started. That way I won’t be under the illusion that it’s something you wanted to do. I can tell when your heart’s not in it.”
Stop thinking about Kimmy.
Once he and Layla stepped under the spray and he’d run his soapy hands over every inch of her, he wasn’t doing much thinking at all. After the shower and the sex, as Josh and Layla cuddled in his bed, their limbs intertwined and her head on his chest, he twirled his fingers in her hair and pulled her closer. She let out a soft murmur and pressed her lips to his skin.
“Why did you stay with him for so long?” Josh asked. There wasn’t much he didn’t know about Layla’s past by then, and she’d told him what Liam had done to finally send her out the door for good. But even before that, she’d put up with a lot, and there hadn’t been any children to consider.
“I struggled with the answer to that question for years,” she said. “Stubborn pride? A reluctance to admit that maybe I shouldn’t have married him in the first place? Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but I thought perfection in any relationship was an unattainable and unrealistic goal. It’s easier to leave a train wreck than it is to leave a relationship that’s not really working but still has enough of the good things to sustain it. I thought he would change. If I’m being honest, I had a lot of time invested by then and I thought I could be the one to change him. Turns out I was wrong about that.”
“When I got married at eighteen, I didn’t ever want things to change. I couldn’t fathom that they might, or that I would want them to. Or that she would. I thought all marriages had rough patches and I was determined to stick them out. And yet you and I both reached the same outcome, so who really knows anymore about anything.”
“Those are some wise words,” Layla said. “Who really knows anything?”
* * *