“With the aim of . . . ?”
“Scouting it out with extreme care. Watching. Observing. Locating the entrance or entrances. Looking to see if anyone goes in or out. Assessing what spells Mercury might be using as protection. Most importantly, making sure that you’re not seen. And then returning to base.”
“And where’s base?”
Van comes back to the atlas and places the tip of her finger, her perfect fingernail, on a place a few centimeters from Mercury’s hill and her bunker.
Being Positive Again
We’re at the base, another vacant home, several miles from Mercury’s bunker. We’ve checked the place on a detailed map and I’m certain now that it’s right. We’ve been here for seventy-two hours and Nesbitt has been gone for seventy-one and a half. Van has spent all the time making a persuading potion that she can use on Mercury to make her wake Annalise. She’s mixing and sampling, and glaring at us if we make a noise. Pers is still full of hate and evil stares but I give as good as I get. Gabriel and I keep to ourselves, hanging out in his bedroom or the kitchen.
I slept outside the first two nights. We’re north, far north, and it’s cold. The first night I wondered if I’d transform but nothing happened. The second night I sat cross-legged on the ground and watched the sun set and went over what I could remember of when I’d been in animal form, when he had taken over, and I thought of what it was like to be inside the other me and to see things in a different way. Nothing. But then I went back to the vision I’d had when I was helping Gabriel. I remembered being in Wales, the stake through my heart, connecting me to the earth and to him, the animal me. And then it happened; I felt the animal adrenaline slowly build in me, and I did welcome it and I transformed.
I remember most of being the animal, not all. I didn’t hunt anything. It was as if he was showing me around, helping me work out what it’s like, helping me get used to it, but I was always the passenger; he was in the driver’s seat. I was just in his body, though I don’t know what the body was. Judging by the paw prints, I think I was a wolf or large dog.
I feel like I’ve gained some control over when I can transform. I’m sure I can stop it now and I can make it happen too.
So tonight I’m staying inside, as me, partly cos I’m hoping Nesbitt will be back and partly because I don’t want to transform again so soon. I’m lying on one of the two beds in Gabriel’s room and I’m feeling positive.
Positive Thought Number 1
I am alive. I have my Gift and I’m beginning to be able to control it. This is a big deal. I am alive. I have my Gift and I’m beginning to be able to control it.
That is super positive.
Positive Thought Number 2
I like Annalise. I’ve been thinking about her quite a bit and I like her. A lot. She likes me too. I think.
Positive Thought Number 3
Annalise is probably not in pain or suffering at the moment. She’s in a death-like sleep and it’s dangerous but the death-like bit of it is probably not obvious to her.
Positive Thought Number 4
We know where Mercury’s bunker is now. If Annalise is in there I really believe we’ll find a way to get her out safely. We have a good chance of beating Mercury. Four against one are pretty good odds. She’s on home turf but we have the element of surprise. She’s very powerful. We’re quite powerful. We’ve a good chance. Of course she could just freeze us all instantly in some ice storm or blow us away—literally—or, I don’t know, send giant hailstones down to beat us to death.
Positive Thought Number 5
There are four of us against Mercury, which means that I haven’t killed Nesbitt yet. And I don’t think I will kill him now. He doesn’t get to me like he used to.
Positive Thought Number 6
If we live through this I’ll be with Annalise. I know all our troubles won’t be over and there’s the whole Alliance thing, and living a quiet life is still a long way off, but I will be with her. I really want to kiss her for real, and do other things I’ve thought of doing with her for years and never even had the chance and— *
“You OK?”
It’s Gabriel. He’s here with me as always.
“Yeah. Just thinking about stuff . . . you know. Positive stuff.”
“Oh, right. You’re thinking about her. Annalise.”
“A bit. I think we have a decent chance of making this work. Of saving her. And of living through it.”
He doesn’t reply.
“Don’t you think?”
“Mercury will try to kill us and I think she’ll try very hard. She’s good at it.”
I’m trying to keep things positive, so I say, “And I think the Alliance has a chance too. I mean, this could be a huge change. In a year’s time the whole witch world could be different.”