Half Wild by Sally Green
For Indy
BOOKS BY SALLY GREEN
alf Bad
Half Wild
You’ll feel my heavy spirit chill your chest,
And climb your throat on sobs
Wild with all Regrets, Wilfred Owen
A New Day
a crossbill calls
another bird replies, not a crossbill the first bird takes over again and again
the crossbill—
shit, it’s morning
i’ve been asleep
it’s morning, very early
shit, shit, shit need to wake up need to wake up can’t believe i’ve been asl— c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h SHIT!
the noise is here. HERE!
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h that level of noise means, oh shit, someone with a mobile is close. very close. i can’t believe i’ve been asleep with hunters on my tail. and her. the fast one. she was close last night.
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h THINK! THINK!
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h it’s a mobile phone, for sure it’s a mobile phone. the noise is in my head, not in my ears, it’s to the upper right side, inside, constant, like an electrical interference, pure hiss, mobile hiss, loud, three-or-four-meters-away loud.
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h ok, right, lots of people have mobiles. if it’s a hunter, that hunter, and she could see me, i’d be dead by now.
i’m not dead.
she can’t see me.
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h the noise isn’t getting louder. she’s not moving closer. but she’s not moving away either.
am i hidden by something?
i’m lying on my side, face pressed into the ground. totally still. can’t see anything but earth. got to move a little.
but not yet. think first.
stay calm and work it out.
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h there’s no breeze, no sun, just a faint light. it’s early. the sun must be behind the mountain still. the ground is cool but dry, no dew. there’s the smell of earth and pine and . . . there’s another smell.
what is that smell?
and there’s a taste.
a bad taste.
it tastes like . . . oh no— don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it
don’t think about it think about something else Think about where you are.
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h You’re lying on the ground, in the early morning, and the air is cool. You’re cold. You’re cold because . . . you’re naked. You’re naked and the top half of you is wet. Your chest, your arms . . . your face are wet.
And you move the fingers of your left hand, the tiniest of movements, and they’re sticky. Sticking together. Like they’re coated with drying, sugary juice. But it’s not juice—don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!
THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h THINK ABOUT STAYING ALIVE!
You’ve got to move. The Hunters are on your tail. That fast one was close. She was very close last night. What happened last night?
what happened?
NO! FORGET THAT.
c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h c h THINK ABOUT STAYING ALIVE.