I check the tattoo on my neck. It’s just the same.
I check all my tattoos every day and they are all just the same as the first day. I scraped the skin off the one on my ankle to see what would happen and Mr Wallend was right: the tattoo reappeared. It even showed through on the scab as a fluorescent blue.
I look in the mirror at my eyes, my father’s eyes. I wonder if he looks in the mirror and wonders about my eyes. I want to see my father for real one day, just once, just meet him once, talk to him. But maybe it’s best for us both if we never meet. If he believes the vision he won’t want to meet me. I wish I knew more about the vision. Was it of me stabbing him with the Fairborn? Stabbing him through the heart? I want to tell my father that I would never do that. I couldn’t.
My eyes look so black now, the triangular hollows are hardly moving.
I’m back in the kitchen, the last teabag and me.
I’ve got to go. I’ve got to find the way to Mercury and get my three gifts. And I’m running out of time. It’s just over two months to my birthday.
And that means I’ve got to go to Bob’s place, the place in the A–Z. Only that leads me back to my problem. It leads me back to the alley.
When I stepped through the door from the courtyard of the Council building into the alleyway and I started running, I went at a good pace, a hard pace. I was still running three or four minutes later and I still wasn’t at the end of the alley. It was like running on a conveyor belt that was going the wrong way, like they were drawing me back in. And I was panicking and almost screaming by the end of it but I kept at it and somehow I got to the end, where the alley turned. I held on to the corner of the wall, and a woman walked past and stared at me. Then I walked round the corner but I didn’t let go of the wall, not for ages did I let go of that wall.
And now I have to go back there, past that corner and up the alley. The address of Bob, the man I need to see, is Cobalt Alley. That alley.
nikita
The Council building is across the road on my left. I wasn’t sure it was the right building at first. I was expecting it to be gothic with spires and leaded windows like it is inside, but it’s different on the outside. It’s a seventies office block, all big and square and concrete, dark grey and stained black in places. I know it’s the right building because of the alleyway next to it. Also, I’ve walked round the block and found the entrance Gran and I used to use. It’s at the back through a little gatehouse that’s still there. That’s the only old bit of building that can be seen from the outside.
I’ve been standing in a doorway for a while watching the building. It’s sunny today but this side of the road is in the shade and the shadows stretch across to halfway up the street frontage opposite. The Council building has rows and rows of regularly placed square windows, most of which reflect the sunlight in a blue-black shimmer, though tatty vertical blinds can be seen hanging unevenly at the lower ones in the shade, unwatered potted plants standing on the sills. It looks like an unloved, uncared-for office building. There’s no movement inside. I’ve seen two people go in, two women. They might have been witches but I couldn’t see their eyes from here.
Nothing and no one has gone up or down the alley.
I told myself I would watch for an hour or two but it feels like the office windows are watching me. I need to get this over with.
Feeling a bit shaky.
Couldn’t do it. I got close but I couldn’t go up there.
I will do it, though. I’ve got to do it.
Just not yet.
Nothing happening at all. I was hoping to see the bloke, Bob, walk down the alley, but he hasn’t appeared.
He has to come out at some stage, though. The best idea is to keep well back and watch.
He might be having the day off or be away on holiday for all I know.
It’s only one day gone. Only one day less.
Day two.
OK. Day one was not a success. Nobody went up or down the alley (including me). A few people went in and out of the Council building.
But I’m here early now. Slept in a different doorway half a mile away.
And success already. A few people have gone into the Council building, but, more importantly, a van drove up the alley. It drove up, the gates to the courtyard opened, in the van went and the gates shut. It all looked normal.
Nobody has walked up or down the alley yet. I’m waiting for my man to do that.
And waiting.
And waiting.
But everyone just walks on past the end of the alley, not even looking up there, like they don’t even notice it. There’s a dead-end sign and a brick wall at the far end, so no one’s likely to go up there. But still it’s like it’s invisible to passers-by.
And what if he never comes? Mary told me about him years ago. Maybe he’s not here any more. Maybe the Council has caught him.