When the big moment came, we all danced our hearts out. And during the grand finale when the song cuts to the unexpected inclusion of “Indian Reservation” by Paul Revere and the Raiders, well, sisters, it was as if the spirit of Juliette Gordon Low herself was inside each of us!
I was a leader even then, and likely so were most of you. As little girls, many of us were the ones who organized exactly how the Barbie accessories would be distributed fairly. We were the ones who instigated playdates or ran for drama club president. It wasn’t a conscious thought, but the ability to gather groups and unite them around a theme or idea was just part of us. If you’re lucky, your parents encouraged you in these natural leadership skills. If you’re not as lucky, they may have unintentionally tried to snuff it out. “Don’t be bossy,” they’d say. “You’re not in charge of everyone,” they’d remind you. Never mind that when one of the boys displayed these same exact characteristics it was seen as admirable. “Look at that natural-born leader,” they’d comment wistfully.
Leadership isn’t a trait that was encouraged in girls when I was growing up, and maybe that’s why so many of us struggle with the mantle now. We don’t tend to think of ourselves as leaders because that’s most often reserved for business settings. I’m here to tell you I don’t care who you are or what you do during the day. Working or moming or school or whatever, it’s all the same to me in this area. I need you to embrace the idea that you are a leader. In fact, we all need you to do that.
I’ve spent the last half decade of my life building up a community of women—both online and in person—who believe in a similar philosophy as I do. We welcome and support one another regardless of what we have in common and despite our differences. We give one another space to belong and the encouragement to pursue our dreams, and I am so blessed that so many of you share my vision. I’m doubled over by how many women follow me online or come to my conference or buy my books, but here is the truth from the very bottom of my heart: I’m not looking for one more fan. I don’t need one more woman to like my Instagram feed or think my shoes are cute. I’m not trying to develop a community of fans. I’m trying to develop a community of leaders.
Are you an influencer? Are you in media? Do you run a conference? A business? A podcast? Are you a mom in the PTA? Are you a teller at the local bank? Are you a volunteer for Sunday school at church? Are you a high school student? Are you a grandma of seven? Great! I need you. We need you!
We need you to live into your purpose. We need you to create and inspire and build and dream. We need you to blaze a trail and then turn around and light the way with your magic so other women can follow behind you. We need you to believe in the idea that every kind of woman deserves a chance to be who she was meant to be, and she may never realize it if you—yes, you—don’t speak that truth into her life.
You’ll be able to do that if you first practice the idea of being made for more in your own life. After all, if you don’t see it, how do you know you can be it? If women in your community or your network marketing group or your Zumba class don’t ever see an example of a confident woman, how will they find the courage to be confident? If our daughters don’t see a daily practice of us feeling not only comfortable but truly fulfilled by the choice to be utterly ourselves, how will they learn that behavior?
Pursuing your goals for yourself is so important, and I’d argue that it’s an essential factor in living a happy and fulfilled existence—but it’s not enough simply to give you permission to make your dream manifest. I want to challenge you to love the pursuit and openly celebrate who you become along the journey. When your light shines brighter, others won’t be harmed by the glare; they’ll be encouraged to become a more luminescent version of themselves. That’s what leadership looks like. Leaders are encouraging. Leaders share information. Leaders hold up a light to show you the way. Leaders hold your hand when it gets hard. True leaders are just as excited for your success as they are for their own, because they know that when one of us does well, all of us come up. When one of us succeeds, all of us succeed.
You’ll be able to lead other women to that place if you truly believe that every woman is worthy and called to something sacred. That requires opening your eyes and your heart to certain women you may not have noticed before.
And though it may seem slightly off topic for a book on personal growth, I want to ask you to consider who you’re including in your sphere of leadership. I want to challenge you to do something.
Look around you. Look at your Instagram feed. Look at the speaker lineup for your conference. Look at your staff. Look at your friends. Do they all look the same? And just so we’re clear, I don’t mean, do they have different hair colors or personal styles? I mean, well, frankly, I mean, are they all the exact same color? Are they all the exact same type? Do they all go to the same church? Do they all live in the same area?
I see this everywhere in female-focused media right now. I see it manifest on stages. I see it show up in the company’s staff photo. I see it with the speaker lineup. I see it in the advertising. And every single time I see it I wonder, Why isn’t this homogeny upsetting to this group? Why doesn’t this disparity bother them? How can they pull together sixteen speakers, only one of which is female? Or, at a women’s conference, How can you choose ten female speakers to represent all women, and nine of them are white? I don’t think it’s a conscious choice for most companies or conferences or friend circles to shun diversity. I just think that we tend to choose what we know, and what we know best are people who look and act and think like us.
But, friends, this is not what the world looks like. This is not what business or the market looks like. This is not what our community looks like.
Representation matters. It matters that you sit in an audience and see yourself onstage. It matters that a company who sells to a multiethnic, multicultural world works to bring every voice in so that they consider as many perspectives as possible. Black, white, Latino, Asian, old, young, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, differently abled, plus-size, petite—everybody should be at your table. Everybody should be on your stage. Everybody should be on your staff. Everybody should be invited to your kid’s birthday party. Everybody should be welcome in your church. Everybody should be invited over for dinner. Every single woman you know and every single one you don’t could benefit from the truth that she is capable of something great. How is she ever going to believe that if nobody sets an example? How is she ever going to believe that if nobody cares enough to see it in her and speak the truth aloud?
The thing is, I believe there is magic in each and every one of you reading this. I know with every fiber of my being that if you all began to live more fully into that call on your heart—in spite of how scary and uncomfortable it feels at times—I know we would change the world. The incredible thing is, by embracing your calling and refusing to hide your glow, you wouldn’t just make your world brighter. You’d light the way for the women who would come along behind you.
CONCLUSION
BELIEVE IN YOUR DANG SELF!