“Oh, she has a backbone,” Flaw said, grinning.
Kes’s golden eyes, so like Jethro, Daniel, and Mr. Hawk, searched mine. “She has more than that. Her entire body is made up of steel.”
My knees locked into place. I wanted to scream at him to speak the truth, then strike him down for lying to me.
What did that mean? Some cryptic clue that he knew I knew along with some vague acknowledgement that we weren’t strangers? That he was my…friend?
No, he’s not my friend.
He’s my enemy in disguise.
I couldn’t let myself be swayed by anyone’s motives.
Sticking my nose in the air, fully embracing an uppity heiress, I said, “You’re just like the rest of them.”
Kes blinked. “Pardon?”
“Don’t ‘pardon’ me. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
The messages, you idiot.
Flaw stepped forward, looking at both of us. Standing just outside my personal space, he extended his hand. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Flaw. Real name’s Rhys, but we never go by birth names in this place.”
I couldn’t stop anger heating my cheeks. “You think I wish to shake your hand? The same hand that went into my room, packed up my belongings, and wrote a note to my father explaining my disappearance?”
Flaw held up a finger. “Technically, that wasn’t for your father but for the paparazzi who followed you around. But I will take responsibility for breaking into your room and packing.”
The way he talked and moved reminded me a little of my brother. Both were black-haired with lanky frames. A crippling pang of homesickness filled me. “Were you there?”
Flaw frowned. “There? Where there?”
I balled my hands. I didn’t remember him being there, but then again my attention at that welcome luncheon was skewed. I’d been more focused on the pieces of parchment rather than tongues. “Were you one of the ones who…licked me?”
Flaw had the decency to blanch. “No. I was overseeing a shipment for Jet. I heard about it, though.”
I laughed coldly. “Heard about it?” I shot a glower at Kes. His arms were crossed, looking pensive.
My voice ached with defiance. “If you’ve been told details of what happened, what is your opinion, from an outsider’s perspective?”
What are you doing?
The whole conversation had no point. I didn’t know why I pushed it. I just knew I couldn’t breathe properly ensconced in a room with Kestrel. I was argumentative, jumpy, and completely on edge.
Flaw looked at Kes, shrugging as if asking for guidance. Kes nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek, obviously just as lost as I was with where I was going with this.
Taking a deep breath, Flaw muttered, “I was told why they did it—it was an icebreaker. To remove barriers between you and the brotherhood. I was told it was a onetime thing and from now on to treat you as one of us.”
“Better than one of us,” Kes murmured. “You’re our guest, first and foremost, and we’re responsible for your wellbeing.”
There were so many inconsistencies in that sentence; I didn’t know where to begin.
Didn’t he get it that I wasn’t a guest but a woman destined to die? I was their captive!
Ignoring Kes for now, I glared at Flaw. “That was the reason you were told. What about what you believe? Tell me if you found it acceptable. Tell me how you would feel if all of this happened to your sister or wife.”
Kes sucked in a breath beside me. “I see what you’re doing, Nila.”
I shuddered at the use of my first name. I’d been trying so long for Jethro to use it, yet his younger brother needed no such encouragement.
Abandoning my witch-hunt on Flaw, I turned to the man who made me itch with annoyance, intrigue, and temper. “What do you see, Kestrel?”
Kes’s eyes tightened; something harsh and hot flowed between us. Some resemblance of the kinky, sexual man from our text messages flashed, then was hidden. “I know you’re searching for validation of being debased in such a way. Regardless of what you think, it wasn’t sexual. Those men weren’t there to get off on tasting you. They were there to strip you.”
I laughed. “Well, they certainly succeeded.”
I was naked and had my first orgasm in front of them. If that isn’t the bare essentials of any human, I don’t know what is.
Kes continued, “What if I told you that whole thing wasn’t just about you? What if I told you the men who witnessed your nakedness and were privileged enough to taste you were now indebted to you?”
“Don’t talk to me about debts,” I snarled.
Kes inched closer, encroaching on my mental safety. “By seeing you struggle, by witnessing the power that grew in you with each round of the table, you earned their respect. You earned their devotion. And you were welcomed into our world with no barriers. That’s what the lunch was about. A power play where you gave up your power and gained theirs in return.”
I couldn’t stand his crisp, accented voice delivering something that shouldn’t make sense, only for it to resonate perfectly inside.
Murmuring, he said, “You can’t deny you feel different. Stronger. Braver. You were at your most vulnerable, but you survived.” Reaching up, he captured the ends of my ponytail cascading over my shoulder. “We showed you your true worth, Nila Weaver, and now you’ll have the strength to face the future intact and not break until it’s time.”
My heart stuttered then died. “You gave me all of that, just so I wouldn’t be broken for the final debt?”
The cruelty. The brutality.
Locking eyes with me, Kes whispered, “I give you my word. You are strong enough to get through this.”
The room faded until the only thing that existed was Kes and I. I didn’t know if it was the possibility of him being Kite that drew me to him or the empathy deep in his gaze but something was undeniable. The longer we stared, the more he drained me of fight and fortified me with courage.
“Forgive me?” he whispered.