I shook my head, wondering what the hell was going on. She needed a tattoo? Right now?
But I still hurried my ass out of the car.
Jogging across the street, I followed her into the shop and spotted Aura, Jared’s artist, munching on half a sandwich as she pored over some sketches.
She looked up and stopped chewing as Juliet strutted right through the half door leading to the back.
“Can you fit me in?” Juliet asked.
Aura peered around her to look at me, probably hoping I’d explain.
We knew each other. I’d come here with Jared, and Aura had been trying to convince me for years to get some ink. “You’d be hotter with some tattoos, kid,” she’d said.
Yeah, because that was a reason to get tattoos.
She must’ve done Juliet’s angel wings tattoo as well, because she seemed to know her way around.
Aura held the sandwich close to her lips, finishing her bite. “The sign on the door did say ‘Closed,’ right?” Her snarky attitude ever present.
Juliet opened her journal and flipped through the pages, tearing one out and handing it to Aura.
“I want this,” she indicated. “Here.” She rubbed the inside of her wrist where her scar sat. “Please?” she asked, taking off the Gear on her wrist.
I walked over, standing at Aura’s side and taking in the sketch Juliet had made. Actually it was text. The thick black letters in an intricate font read Non Domini.
“What does that mean?” I looked up at Juliet.
“It’s Latin. It means ‘no masters.’ ”
She looked at me, holding my eyes as understanding passed between both of us.
No mothers. No fathers. No gatekeepers. Non domini.
I liked it.
Snatching the paper out of Aura’s hand, I sat down in her chair. “Me first.”
Juliet’s smile spread over her face. “You?” she said, her eyes lighting up. “You’re getting a tattoo?”
I arched an eyebrow. “If you’re going to make a big deal out of this … ,” I warned.
She shot out her hands. “No, no. I just don’t want you making quick decisions that you’ll cry over tomorrow.”
“Yeah, well,” I explained, “I like it. It speaks to me.”
Actually I loved it. It was me, and it was the first thing I didn’t mind having as a constant reminder every time I looked in the mirror. First thing that I felt I needed as a constant reminder.
“Okay.” She nodded, accepting my answer.
Coming up, Juliet kissed me on the lips and plopped her notebook in my lap. “I’m going to the bathroom. Be back in a minute.”
She walked away, locking her hands behind her back to keep her skirt from swinging up as she walked.
I shook with laughter no one heard and relaxed against the chair.
“I like her,” Aura said softly, pushing up my T-shirt sleeve and cleaning the skin on my left biceps.
“Glad you approve,” I mumbled.
And then I looked down. “Hey, I thought she wanted hers on the inside of her wrist. Why are you cleaning my arm?”
“She wants hers on the inside of her wrist. You’re getting yours on the biceps.”
I rolled my eyes, feeling like Jared’s mom was talking to me. “You’re a ballbuster. I’m surprised you’re still in business.”
I heard her snort. “You’ll love it, and you’ll be back for more.”
“Maybe,” I agreed, just to shut her up.
I splayed my hand across the cover of Juliet’s journal sitting in my lap and fanned the pages, flipping through to see if she had any other tattoo ideas.
Her pen, clipped to the top of the journal, held her place, and I saw a journal entry.
Close it. Close the book.
I was closing it.
I meant to close it.
But I didn’t.
Dear K.C.,
I read once that the best thing that can happen to a woman is to get her heart broken. Before that, she has no real sense of herself. No real sense of pain, because only in love does she know what it’s like to find the one thing that gives her breath and then to lose it.
After that, she knows she can survive. No matter what relationships come and go, she can count on herself to pull through, and although it hurts, the break is necessary.
I woke up this morning before Jax did, and I started crying. I realized he was my first love—the one that should break my heart—and when he jumped off that cliff, I realized how much it would hurt to lose him.
What if he doesn’t love me? What if he breaks my heart? He’s not the one I wanted to learn this lesson on.
I never cried over losing Liam. I cried over his treatment, but I picked myself back up almost immediately.
The thought of losing Jax makes my throat tight, and I can’t help it. I’m trying to be casual. To act like we’re just having fun, because I know that’s what he wants, but I don’t feel that.
I love him.
I love him so much, and I don’t want to, because I don’t think he’s ready to hear it. Why did my heart have to fall for him so quickly?