CHAPTER 24
JAXON
What the hell did I do now? I just stood there, wide-eyed and completely fucking clueless as she stomped off, pissed at me yet again.
Was it impossible for us to get through a twenty-four-hour period without getting into a fight?
She’d just jumped off a cliff like she was eating a sandwich, but when she’d slammed her fists into me, I could feel her fury, and I didn’t know why I felt bad all of a sudden.
I didn’t wait for the rest of the gang to climb back down the mountain. I could already hear Madoc’s laughter, so as soon as I got my head clear enough to move, I traipsed back down the trail.
Going downhill was a lot faster than going uphill, but she had to be jogging, because my long legs carried me fast, and I never caught up to her.
By the time I got back to camp, I could already smell the meat, charcoal, and lighter fluid in the air, not to mention that the music had kicked up a few notches, and people were in real good moods.
I yanked open the flaps on our tent, and bent down to poke my head in, but she wasn’t in there. I searched Tate and Jared’s tent and Fallon and Madoc’s, but no sign of her. I headed straight for the woods, toward the parking lot, but stopped halfway.
She was sitting on a log, leaning forward, with her head resting in her hand.
Her hair, still stringy from the water, covered her arms and back, and I noticed the quick and heavy rise and fall of her body as she breathed hard.
“What’s wrong?” I shouted, and saw her back instantly straighten. “What did I do now?”
She shot up off the log and spun around, stomping toward me without meeting my eyes. I thought she was coming to hit me again, but her straight face and defiant expression told me she didn’t even want to have anything to do with me right now.
She marched past me, but I quickly grabbed her shoulders, stopping her. “What the hell is the matter with you? What did I do?”
She swiped my hands away, looking up to glare at me. “You could’ve hurt yourself! Why did you want to scare everyone and just disappear like that? Why?” she shouted, her face flushed with anger and red from tears. “You pulled a stupid prank, and I was afraid. Why did you do that?” Her voice shook as she tried to hold back more tears.
I pulled up straight, looking down at her, confused. I didn’t understand. I jumped off a cliff. It wasn’t as though I didn’t know I’d be fine. She had to know I wouldn’t have done something that would get me hurt.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out, sniffling. “But you just can’t do things like that. I worry about you. Jared wouldn’t have scared Tate like that. And Madoc would’ve thought of Fallon first. You left me alone up there, and you didn’t think of me. It wasn’t fair.”
I stared down, trying to understand.
She didn’t know the drop was safe as I did. And I guess I would’ve been mad if she’d done it with no warning. In fact, I was. When I saw her leap, even though I knew she’d land okay, my heart still jumped into my throat, because for a moment, as she sprang into the air, she wasn’t safe.
But I also didn’t like people worrying about me. Telling me what to do. Having an opinion about how I lived my life. I’d done fine on my own for so long. She was inching in, and I wasn’t used to this.
This was just summer fun. For both of us.
I dropped my hands from her shoulders, lowering my voice to a whisper. “I told you a long time ago that my brother and I are nothing alike. Don’t get your hopes up.” Better she get that through her head now.
She nodded, her furious eyes focused to the side. “Yeah, don’t worry. I got it,” she bit out, backing away. “And I won’t forget again.”
The puddle between us immediately spread into a vast ocean, and even if I reached out my arms, I would never be able to reach her.
What the hell was the matter with me? I wanted her—I wanted today, and I wanted tomorrow, but I couldn’t think about next year or even next week. I wanted her curled up next to me, between the sheets, warm and safe, but I had to know when to let go. I had to do it before she did.
She pushed past me. “I’ll stay in Tate’s or Fallon’s tent.”
My shoulders fell. No.
I darted out and circled my arms around her from behind, holding her close and burying my face in her neck. “Don’t,” I begged. “Please don’t.”
My muscles strained, holding her so tight, and I heard her suck in quick breaths. I spun her around, wrapped my arms around her waist, and lifted her up, kissing her deep and hard.
“I can’t let you go,” I panted. “I want you all the time. I’ll be unbearable, Juliet. They won’t know what do with me.”
Her hands clasped my neck, as she looked into my eyes.
“I like you, Jax.” She ran her fingers through my hair above my ear. “I like you a lot. You’re important.”
I closed my eyes, meeting her forehead. “Say it,” I whispered.
Her sweet breath fanned over my lips. “Only ever you.”
And I groaned, hating and loving how those words affected me.
In the years I’d wanted her, I’d thought I was good enough. I thought she should thank her lucky stars that I even gave her the time of day.
But now … there was an ache in my chest and guilt in my heart. I had no right to her. I’d slept with a lot of women, and she deserved someone good. Someone clean. What if I failed her?
I looked into her eyes, taking the leap. “I need to take you somewhere. Tuesday, after we all leave here, I want to take you into Chicago,” I said, kissing her lips softly. “There’s something I want you to see. Someplace I go … at night.”
She nodded, never blinking. “Okay,” she said quietly.
My lips were so close to hers, but my eyes never faltered. “I want you,” I whispered over the lump in my throat. “More than anything. I think of you first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. You’re the most important person in my life, Juliet.” No matter what happened, I needed her to remember that. “I’m trying to let you know me, okay?”
She nodded again. “Just as long as it’s not more cliff diving, okay?”
A grin spread across my face. “No, it’s not that tame.”
By the time Tuesday rolled around, I didn’t want to leave.
The days were fun. The nights were fun. And the fun was easy.
I realized how nice it was to have a girlfriend, and I enjoyed the little things we’d gotten comfortable with each other enough to do, like the familiar little touches, someone to wrap my arms around at the campfire, and waking up with the person I wanted right next to me in the morning. Someone warm and soft and made just for me. It was consistent and comforting.
And after a lifetime of feeling as if I didn’t truly have a home, I finally had something that came naturally.
I’d kissed every inch of her skin, and sucked and bitten anything and everything I could get my hands on. I’d lost count of her different smiles, and my favorite feeling was her teeth on my skin.