Falling Away

He turned to leave, and it was me grabbing his arm this time. “She’d want you to be happy,” I pressed.

 

“She’s going to medical school, Jax,” he said as if I were an idiot. “I love her, okay? It’s the only thing I do know for sure.”

 

And I watched as he climbed the steps and disappeared back into her house.

 

Okay, so she was going to medical school. So what? Did he think he had to do something profound or more respectable with his life? To be good enough for her?

 

Tate wasn’t like that, and she had never encouraged him to join the military in the first place. Her father had, but even Mr. Brandt would support a full-grown man going after the life he really wanted. What was Jared thinking?

 

I traipsed back over to my yard and into the house, running through the whole downstairs and double-checking locks.

 

Heading upstairs, I was about to go for the office but went for the bedroom instead. Juliet was sleeping soundly again, and I caught sight of the tattoo on the back of her neck.

 

Crawling in behind her, I threw my arm over her waist and kissed the tattoo.

 

Only Ever You.

 

We hadn’t talked about it, and I didn’t know if she wanted to, but I knew those words were mine. She might have thought them up and spoken them, but they were for me and no one else.

 

I nuzzled into her neck, remembering how I would nuzzle into Jared’s shirt when we were kids.

 

I wasn’t holding on to Juliet. I was hanging on to her. For dear life.

 

“Jax?” Her low voice was sleepy.

 

I moved my nose out of her hair. “Yeah?”

 

“My freshman year of college, did you replace my music appreciation teacher’s playlist of baroque composers with 2 Live Crew’s ‘Me So Horny’?”

 

My body shook silently as I laughed my ass off.

 

Oh, shit. I chuckled. I’d forgotten all about that.

 

“You’re laughing,” she accused. “You did do it.”

 

Yep, I did it, I thought, smiling to myself.

 

“That’s just so wrong,” she replied playfully.

 

I squeezed her tight, smiling into her hair, my father momentarily forgotten. “You’re welcome.”

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 23

 

 

 

 

 

JULIET

 

 

“Jax! Now!”

 

We both jerked our heads to the door, hearing Jared’s bellow from downstairs.

 

Jax smiled, gave me one last peck on the lips, and hopped off the bed.

 

His hair was still wet from the shower he took while I was asleep, and he already had jeans on, but he was only half-dressed.

 

When he’d stepped back into the room this morning, saying he and Jared were leaving to get supplies, and we were all going camping, we got sidetracked. Again.

 

Jared had been honking his horn for five minutes.

 

Digging into one of his clothing bags—I assumed from the shopping trip with Madoc yesterday—he grabbed a black T-shirt and slipped it on.

 

“Be ready when I get back, okay?” He grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet, shoving them in his pockets. “Pack a bikini and some of my T-shirts to wear. You don’t need anything else.”

 

Smiling, I sat up, covering myself with the sheet. “I’ll be ready.”

 

I knew he wanted to get out of here soon, and I was glad he’d confided in me. I didn’t know how concerned to be about his father or whether or not he was a genuine threat, but I trusted Jax’s and Jared’s instincts to keep a safe distance until they were prepared.

 

And hey, if it meant sharing a tent with Jax for three days, then I was cool with that. Tutoring was on a one-week hiatus for the Fourth of July next week, and I wasn’t starting my theater job until after that was completed mid-July.

 

He dived back down for a quick kiss and then headed for the door. “And don’t comb your hair,” he ordered, looking back at me and winking.

 

I saluted, watching him leave.

 

Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I kept the sheet wrapped around me and rotated my ankles and feet back to life. I’d practically been fucked into the mattress, although I vaguely remembered going into his office last night, riding him in his chair, and then returning to bed as if I’d just gotten up to get a drink of water.

 

The bedroom door swung open, and I looked up to see Fallon pulling to a sudden halt and peering down at me wide-eyed.

 

“Oh, wow,” she said.

 

I bowed my head, groaning. I didn’t even want to know what I looked like.

 

I heard a second set of footsteps and glanced up to see Tate.

 

“Well,” she drawled out, grinning. “You’re a mess. Sorry to barge in”—she stepped into the room—“but there’s no time to lose.”

 

I nodded, tightening the sheet. “Sorry for the delay. Jax … um,” I mumbled. “Energy. Lots of energy.”

 

Fallon stayed in the doorway while Tate sat down beside me. “I … I’ll … um …” Fallon stumbled over her words. “I’ll go back over to your place and run her a bath.”

 

She walked out, and Tate called after her as she started to rub circles on my back.

 

“My soothing salts are under the sink!” she shouted.

 

I shrugged her hand off, letting out a nervous laugh. “It’s not my first time, Tate. Stop fussing.”

 

She dropped her hand to her lap, speaking sternly. “You ever done it so many times in one night before?” she asked, looking around the floor, probably referring to the condom wrappers.

 

I stared at my feet, smiling to myself and shaking my head.

 

She continued. “And if Jax is anything like his brother, then I’m sure he’s no gentleman in the bedroom.”

 

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh and look as though I was losing my mind. I was mortified, delirious, and happy all at the same time, and I probably looked as if I’d been attacked by an animal. But definitely not by a gentleman.

 

 

Shelburne Falls wasn’t actually in Shelburne Falls. The town was named after the three roaring rapids that all merged into a single river that fed our small city. Even though the actual falls were a good distance away, no town was closer than ours.

 

After about forty-five minutes of plain highway driving with a barely noticeable incline, the lush green grasslands of the Midwest gave way to denser forest and narrower roads. All leading up to Blackhawk Lake—also known as Party Cove—and the three Shelburne waterfalls.

 

I’d rarely ever been up there. My mother wasn’t an outdoor person, and by the time I was old enough to fish or hike, my father was in and out of hospitals. The only times I’d ventured here were once with Tate and her dad, and another time for a party.

 

Madoc led the way in his silver GTO, Jared and Tate followed in Jared’s Boss, and Jax and I trailed in his Mustang. I’d texted Shane, telling her I’d be back in a few days and would see her before she left for college, but I didn’t bother letting my mother know anything. She hadn’t even attempted contact.

 

Jax tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to Starset’s “My Demons” while I attempted journaling through his The Fast and the Furious driving.

 

“What do you write in there?” He peered over at me, shoving his thick biceps in my face as he tried to snatch the notebook.

 

“Stop.” I laughed, twisting away. “It’s nothing about you. I promise.”

 

“It better be about me,” he teased, feigning insult and going back to driving.

 

I smirked. “I can’t put you into words. It’s impossible.”

 

When he didn’t say anything, I looked up to see him smiling to himself.

 

Yeah. There was no way to put him into words yet. Every time I thought of him, all I wanted to shout was “I love you!” Every time I opened my mouth to speak to him, all I wanted to say was “I love you!”

 

So not very coherent at this point. What the hell is love anyway? Did I love him already? Should I love him already?

 

Or was it just attraction? I mean, he looked like a demigod. I wanted to touch him and crawl on top of him at every opportunity. His smell, his personality, his body, everything intoxicated me.

 

But that wasn’t love. I was smart enough to know that. So why did I always want to say it?

 

“Thanks for the watch.” I spoke up, trying to get my mind off the subject of love. I looked down, rubbing my thumb over the white Samsung Gear fitted to my wrist. He’d picked it up while he and Jared were out getting supplies, but it wasn’t just a watch. It was a phone, a camera, and a pedometer, and I could do almost anything with it that I could do with my phone.