Chapter
No Doubts
Maybe it was the removal of the doubt in our relationship, but the next few weeks flew by. Before I knew it, it was the end of May and Kellan’s tour was done. All of the boys came back to Seattle for a celebratory weekend before they had to disembark to L.A., to record their album. I was pretty surprised when Kellan had called and told me he was coming up. When he had first told me about the album, he’d made it sound as if he would be going straight there. I was even more surprised, and mortified, when he told me that Justin and his band were coming up with them. Apparently the two groups had really hit it off on the road. Not too surprising, I guess. Kellan was easy to get along with, for guys and for girls.
It was a Thursday night when they all strolled in. Talking with Jenny and Kate at the counter, I flinched when I heard the front doors bang open. My eyes immediately snapped over to them and excitement flooded every part of me.
Griffin had just burst open the doors, just like he used to when the D-Bags were a fixture here. Seeing him, standing like a King before his court, wasn’t what spiked my heart, though. No, it was knowing who would walk in a few steps after the egomaniac.
As the bar completely silenced, Griffin exclaimed, “Your master has returned…you may worship me now.”
A chorus of laughter went around the room and the buzz of noise started again as people stood to welcome the returning rockers. Griffin was harshly shoved forward by Matt. Scowling at his cousin, Matt raised his hand in greeting to his name being shouted here and there around the 457
room. He then immediately started heading to their old table, obviously wanting out of the spotlight.
Griffin frowned at Matt, until he found a table of coeds to pester. Evan stepped through the swinging front doors with Kellan, the two of them smiling, mid-laugh. The crowd outright cheered once all four band members were in their midst again. Kellan glanced around the room, acknowledging them with a hand wave and a nod. Evan shook his head, like he still couldn’t wrap his head around the whole thing. Then the gentle man spotted his girl.
The heavily tatted rocker with gauges in his ears and a new piercing through his eyebrow, melted when Jenny jumped into his arms. There were squeals and giggles and lots of laughter as the two of them reunited.
I was giggling too as I left Kate by the bar to flood to my man, before the other girls around beat me to it. He was striding my way, his grin as wide as mine. When we met up, he grabbed my cheeks and pulled my mouth to his. His scent hit me just a second before his warm lips did. He held me to him as his mouth moved in sync with mine, his tongue just slipping in to brush against me. My fingers reached up to tangle into his tousled mess, twisting into the thick, light brown strands.
As his hands threaded back though my hair, his body inching forward to press against the length of mine, I slowly started to remember that we were in a very public place. I didn’t stop the kissing though. I even managed to ignore the catcalls and whistles as people watched us. I really only decided to put a stop to it when Kellan’s hands started drifting down my body.
When his fingers squeezed my bottom, I pushed back from him. Smiling, but breathless, I raised an eyebrow in warning. Equally breathless, he shrugged, like he just couldn’t help himself. Giggling, I gave him a soft, public-friendly kiss.
“You’re here,” I breathed.
He matched my gentle kiss. “There was nowhere else I wanted to be.” 458
Knowing that he had so much to do in the next few weeks, preparing his band’s very first album, I shook my head and smiled. Maybe seeing that our intimate moment was over, regulars in the bar started coming up to Kellan, congratulating him on the band’s success. He shook hands left and right, smiling and making conversation like he’d never been gone.
Smiling to myself, I left him to it. Kellan was getting a bear hug from Sam when the front doors opened again. I’d been standing right in front of the doors when they’d started opening and I hastily stepped back so I wouldn’t get smacked. When I saw who’d just entered the bar, I wanted to freeze in place or run and hide. Knowing that I was overreacting, that people were just people, regardless of what they did for a living, I slapped on a smile and approached the second band of rock stars entering the bar.
“Hello, Justin. It’s good to see you again.” Scanning the five twenty-something guys standing before me, smiling as they looked around the bar, I asked, “Can I get you guys something to drink?” Justin’s pale eyes met mine, and he nodded. “Yeah, we’ll take a pitcher of whatever you’ve got on tap. Thanks, Kiera.” He tapped me on the shoulder as he walked by.
Immensely proud of myself for sounding more like an adult and less like a teenage schoolgirl, I watched the two bands meet up. Kellan and Justin shook hands and sat near each other at the boys’ favorite table.
The rest of the guys spread out near the table, talking to fans or to each other. Even with the addition of Justin’s band, it was so natural to see the D-Bags here, and yet unnatural at the same time, since they’d been gone for so long. I loved having them back.
I repeated the order to Rita, who was staring at the combination of Kellan and Justin like they were both sitting at the table completely naked. Some things never change. As I waited for her to make the guys drinks blind, since she wouldn’t take her eyes off the group, I felt someone approach me.
Grabbing my arm, Kate pulled me over to her. “Do you know who that is with Kellan, Kiera?”
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Smiling at her overwhelmed face, I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve met him a few times…he’s nice.”
Her topaz eyes widened as far as they could go. Staring at the pitcher that Rita was slowly putting on my tray, she stammered, “You have to introduce me…seriously.”
I nodded at the tray, indicating with my head for her to take it. “No problem, follow me.”
I grabbed Kellan’s bottle of beer, since he preferred his beer bottled, while Kate followed me with the pitcher and glasses. With a confidence that surprised even myself, I led Kate back to the rock stars and introduced her to the visiting band. She was as much of a nervous, babbling wreck as I’d been when I’d first met them. It made me smile as I sat on Kellan’s lap, completely comfortable.
An hour or two later, everyone in the bar was comfortable, and the laughter and conversations were flowing as freely as the drinks.
Someone put some fast songs on the jukebox and a group of girls grabbed Justin and his band mates to dance with them. It didn’t take Rita long to ditch her duties at the bar and join them for a song or two. The grinding that the over-tanned, over-bleached, middle aged, married woman did with that rock star made me horribly embarrassed. Kellan was right—some women really would do anything for attention.
Kellan and I were taking a moment to twirl around the end of the crowd when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Seeing Griffin standing there, I instantly got a ball of ice in my stomach. He wasn’t trying to cut in, was he?
Sniffing, a disgruntled Griffin looked around the bar. “Hey, where’s your sister?”
Holding Kellan’s hand, I bit my lip. Once Anna had learned that the guys were coming up here for a few days before heading to Los Angeles, she freaked out. She was definitely showing now, and she wouldn’t have been able to hide it from Griffin. And since she still hadn’t told him, she 460
hadn’t wanted to see him. She’d hopped a flight back home. Yeah, she’d rather tell our parents, than her boyfriend.
Kellan glanced down at me and raised an eyebrow. I knew he wanted Griffin to know, but we’d both agreed that Anna had to tell him. To Griffin, I shrugged and said, “Sorry, she had to go back east for a few days, to see our parents.”
Griffin frowned, then tucked his chin-length hair behind his ears.
“Really? Now?” He shook his head, his light eyes confused. “I told her we were coming up this weekend. She couldn’t wait?” I sighed, hating that I couldn’t tell him. “Sorry, family thing.” Griffin rolled his eyes, seemingly disappointed that his f-buddy, as he referred to Anna, wasn’t available. Hating that he sort of used my sister, even if she was completely willing, I muttered, “Well, I’m sure you could find someone else to…hang out with this weekend.” Griffin shrugged, still looking forlorn. “Yeah, sure…but Anna’s the best, though. She knows just what I like.” His sullen expression took in the clumps of girls around the bar. “These girls, they’re all too…giddy. It can be annoying…sometimes.”
Surprised that those words would ever cross Griffin’s lips, I said words that I never, ever, thought would cross mine. “You could hang out with Kellan and me?”
I instantly wanted to take the words back. Kellan snapped his head to me, equally surprised by my invitation. His brow furrowing, he minutely shook his head. I clearly heard the question he wasn’t asking— why the hell would you invite Griffin into our weekend? Are you crazy?
I bit my lip, thinking maybe I was. Griffin, though, scowled at Kellan.
“Nah, no thanks.” Lightly smacking Kellan in the chest, he muttered,
“I’d rather be alone than hang out with this jack-off.” Kellan blinked, his gorgeous face looking genuinely perplexed. “What did I do to you?”
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Griffin narrowed his eyes, his thin lips tightening. “Jersey…those two hot girls?”
I raised an eyebrow but didn’t let myself overreact to the statement.
Everything Griffin said had to be taken with a grain of salt. Plus, Kellan wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. That, I finally believed.
Kellan bit his lip, looking like he was struggling to not laugh in Griffin’s face. “Uh, Griff…I was doing you a favor.”
“Save it, man.” Griffin poked him in the chest. “You were just jealous
‘cuz you were doing the monogamous thing. Whatever. You didn’t need to cock-block me! And right when things were getting interesting!” A small laugh escaped Kellan. “Griffin…”
Shaking his head, Griffin turned and walked away. To his back, Kellan laughed out, “I tried to tell you…those weren’t girls, dude.” Griffin raised a middle finger in the air and Kellan laughed harder. Shaking his head, he looked back at me. “Maybe I should have just let him figure it out for himself?”
Laughing at the idiot, that was about to have a child with my idiot sister, I shook my head. Kellan gave me a warm smile, wrapping his arms back around my waist. “Monogamous thing?” I asked, tilting my head.
He smiled wider, resting his head against mine. “Yeah, see, I told you I was being good.”
Giggling, I gave him a soft kiss. “I know you were.” Sighing, I shook my head. “Who knew I’d ever find a conversation with Griffin comforting?”
Grinning crookedly in a way that made me wish my shift was over, Kellan murmured, “Life’s little mysteries.” Threading my hand back through the perfect mess of hair, a style that only Kellan could successfully pull off, I sighed. I searched his face as his eyes searched mine. The rare shade of his deep blue eyes, the perfect arch of his brow, the slant of his nose, the seductive curve of his lips, the 462
strong angle of his jaw, his height, the lean cut of his body—physically, he was the epitome of what the ideal man would look like. But his heart, his soul, his pain, his humor, his music…that’s what made me ache for him.
I wanted to give him everything. I wanted to give him the world. I couldn’t, though. I didn’t have that kind of power. But there was one thing I could do…one thing that I could help to give him. And I knew it was something he wanted, even if he fought against wanting it.
I’d done something this morning. Something that I knew he wasn’t going to like. But I’d had to do it. And I also had to tell him that I’d done it, even if it made him really angry.
Clearing my throat, I glanced around the bar full of witnesses. Well, at least he couldn’t kill me after I told him. “Um, Kellan, since we’re doing the honesty-at-all-costs policy, I have something to confess.” He grinned at me, his hands around my waist tightening. “Rob a bank while I was gone?”
Smirking at him, I shook my head. “No.”
He leaned in, raising an eyebrow. “A sex shop?” Flushing, I looked away. “No, I didn’t rob anyone.” Laughing, I looked back at where he was still giving me a devilish smile, probably still envisioning me in a sex shop. My cheeks heating, I smacked his chest and spat out, “Stop picturing me…where you’re picturing me.” Laughing, he kissed my cheek. “Okay, what is it?” Feeling seriousness fall around me, I bit my lip. “Okay, it’s going to make you mad, but hear me out before you start yelling.” The smile immediately fell from his face and he narrowed his eyes.
“What did you do?” he asked cautiously.
Swallowing, I started tracing the letters of my name on his shirt. Following the tattooed lines hidden beneath the fabric, I subtly reminded 463
him that he loved me…just in case he forgot in about three seconds. “I invited your dad and his family to the graduation party at Pete’s.” Kellan instantly pushed me away from him, frowning. “You what? Kiera, I told you I didn’t want any contact with him. Why would you do that?”
Sighing, I stepped back up to him. “Because you need them, Kellan.” He immediately started shaking his head, but I cut off his objection.
“No, you don’t believe that you do…but you do, Kellan.” Putting my hand back on his chest, I shook my head. “I’ve heard you talk about your sister. You care about her. And your brother? You’ve never even met him…don’t you want to?”
I raised my eyebrows and waited for a second. Almost imperceptibly, Kellan nodded and feeling victorious, I continued. “And your dad…how do you know what you’ll feel towards him, if you never give him a chance.” Putting my other hand on his cheek, I stroked my thumb over the smooth skin. “You could be missing out on something really good…because you’re scared.”
He looked down. “Kiera…”
I lifted his head, making him look at me. “I saw you on Christmas morning, Kellan. You wanted that bond, that family bond… and you can have it. You just have to be brave.” I smiled that me, the one most pervious to nerves, was assuring him, the one who rarely seemed to be self-conscious, to be brave. Smiling wider, I added, “You are a smart, handsome, rock star with a girlfriend who adores you. You have nothing to fear…ever.”
He grinned at hearing variants of his words being repeated back to him. Gazing at me with adoration, he shook his head. “When did you get so wise?”
Smirking, I shrugged. “I am a college graduate, you know.” Kellan smirked right back. “Not yet.”
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