him in a way that left me completely bare and open. And I wanted him to do the same for me.
Cupping his cheek, I urged him on top of me. Our gazes locked as I wrapped my legs around him. When he slowly slid into me, we both opened our mouths, but neither one of us closed our eyes. He searched my face as we silently began to move together. I felt tears stinging as I whispered, “I love you, Kellan…only you.”
His eyes watered and he briefly closed his eyes. Opening them he murmured, “And I only love you…I will only ever love you.” He lowered his head to kiss me, our bodies still moving slow and steady. When I felt the buildup of my love for him coming to an apex, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. He squeezed me back just as hard. Slowing our pace instead of increasing it, I started to shake with the impending release.
Kellan grabbed my cheek, sucking in a breath as he quickly kissed me.
“I love you. God, I love you so much…”
He let out a quick exhale, his body shuddering as he came. I squeezed him tight as the intensity washed through me. I babbled some incoherent phrase about loving him more than life itself, and cinched my body around him as the joy flooded every muscle, every nerve, every cell in my body.
Tingling with good feelings, we slumped against each other. Word-lessly, Kellan repositioned us and curled into my body. Kissing my hair, he whispered, “I promise I won’t keep anything from you again.” I nodded and kissed him back, the tears restinging my eyes. “And I promise that I won’t keep anything either.” He nodded and we clung to each other. We’d try again. It was all we could do.
I woke up to my favorite thing in the world, a steaming cup of coffee, practically under my nose. Kellan was squatting on my side of the bed, holding it out to me, a content smile on his face, and I reconsidered what 442
my favorite thing in the world was. Smiling, I ignored the cup and reached out for him.
“Hey,” I whispered, my lips lightly brushing his.
“Mornin’,” he whispered back.
I giggled at the words I’d missed so much, then carefully grabbed the cup in his hand. “You are a Godsend,” I murmured, taking a sip.
Chuckling, he ran a hand back through my hair. “You and coffee…” I flushed as I pulled the cup away. Fighting back remnants of sleep, since I really hadn’t had much the night before, I glanced at his clock.
“What time is your flight?”
I looked back at him and he smiled wider. “I have to go soon.” It was only then that I noticed that he was already wearing his jacket, and his hair was slightly damp around the edges from a recent shower. Wow, I guess I’d been exceptionally tired. Breaking up will do that to you.
I sat up, sloshing a bit of coffee over my mug. “Well, I’ll get ready. I’ll come with you.”
Rescuing my cup from my frantic hands, Kellan set it on the nightstand and shook his head at me. “No, I want you to stay here and relax.” I frowned at him and he smiled. “Every separation between us seems to be long and dramatic, like we’re never going to see each other again.” He ran the back of his knuckle over my cheek. “It’s like we’re…savoring every moment because we both think it might be the last.” I bit my lip and nodded; I’d had those same thoughts. Kellan grinned, seeing my agreeance. “So, let’s break out of that cycle.” Inhaling deep, he sat up straighter. “Goodbye, sweetheart. I have to go to work.” Grinning at him, I shrugged. “See ya.”
Laughing at me, he shook his head and leaned in for a kiss. “Keep the bed warm for me,” he murmured against my mouth. I was giggling when he pulled away. “I’ll call you when I land.” 443
I nodded. As if on cue, his phone in his jacket chirped. I glanced at his pocket and raised an eyebrow. Kellan rolled his eyes and sighed. Pulling his phone out, he glanced at the number. “That would be my father with his morning message.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “There will be an afternoon and an evening one, I’m sure.”
He hit the end button without even reading it. I frowned. “Don’t you even read them?”
Sniffling, he put his phone back in his pocket. “No. I never read them and I never respond.” Lowering his head, he glanced up at me. “That’s why I freaked out when you were going to. I don’t want him to be…encouraged.” He looked up at me fully. “I want him to stop.” I bit my lip, hard, wanting to object but knowing that Kellan wasn’t going to budge on the matter, and he’d get mad if I started in on him again. I nodded, then a question slipped out without my permission.
“What does your sister think about you ignoring him?” Kellan sighed and moved to sit on the bed beside me. “She thinks I’m being stubborn. She doesn’t understand why I’m hurting him by refusing to…” He stopped talking and pulled his phone back out. “She asks me to give him a chance, every time I talk to her.”
“Wise girl,” I muttered.
Kellan heard me and lifted an eyebrow. Not wanting to start an argument, I held out my hand for the phone. “Can I read it?” Kellan narrowed his eyes and I quickly added, “I won’t respond,” I shrugged, “but I feel like someone should at least read them.” Kellan pondered it for a moment, then slowly gave me his phone. I wanted to jump for joy at the level of trust he’d just shown me. Maybe there was hope for us yet. Not wanting to betray that trust, I held the phone in one hand, found my way to his inbox and opened the missed message. Then I held the phone in my palm, all of my text-writing digits away from the device.
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I read the message Kellan refused to, and tears stung my eyes. ‘Please, talk to me today. There’s so much I need to tell you.’
Biting my lip, I flipped to another. ‘I know you’re angry, but please don’t shut me out.’
And another. ‘I can be a part of your life, if you let me. Please call me.’
I flipped to a few more and they were all similar—I need to talk to you, please call me, I want to explain—and even one, near the end of the saved messages on Kellan’s phone, that read, ‘I regret leaving. Let me make it up to you…son.’
I had to wipe away a tear at that one. It was the message dated Christmas morning. If Kellan had just let me read it…all these months of secrets and held-back truths wouldn’t have happened. Things between Kellan and I wouldn’t have been nearly as strained.
Seeing my reaction, Kellan whispered, “What…what did he say?” Sighing, I shook my head and handed him the phone. He didn’t look at it as he put it in his pocket. “He just wants a chance to explain. He wants to get to know you.” I placed my hand on his cheek. “He regrets leaving you, Kellan.”
Kellan’s eyes misted and he nodded. Swallowing a couple of times, he stood up. “I should get going.”
Staring up at him, at the moody, gorgeous, soulful man that he was, I smiled and hoped he’d let his father in…one day. Appearing deep in thought, Kellan was halfway through the door when I called his name.
He looked back at me sprawled on his bed, naked under the light sheet that I had wrapped around my torso, and smiled contently.
“I just wanted to wish you luck on the end of your tour, and tell you…” I bit my lip and he smiled wider. Seeing the happiness, even under his current confusion, I giggled. “I’ll be here when you get back.” I motioned with my eyes to indicate his house.
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His line of sight followed mine and he beamed at me. Taking a step back into the room, he asked, “You’re moving back in with me?” I nodded, giggling more as I wrapped my arms around my knees. I’d sort of decided that the moment he’d left, but recent events had…solidified the decision. He shook his head at me, then took off his jacket. I stared at him, confused, as he stripped his shirt off and then started unbuttoning his jeans.
“What are you doing? I thought you had to go?” Grinning at me, he crawled over the edge of the bed, making me lie back as his body hovered over mine. “I’ve got five minutes.” His mouth was over mine and I giggled under his lips. “Five?” I asked breathily as his fingers started to explore me.
Kicking off his shoes, he muttered, “Okay, fifteen then.” Shoving off his jeans, he quickly darted under the sheet with me. I giggled as his warm, hard body collided with mine. And as silent as we were last night, we made up for it this morning.
He ended up running nearly a half hour behind…but it was worth it.
I stayed in Kellan’s bed for who knows how long after he left the house. I was stretched out on it, envisioning where I could put all of my stuff, when I heard Kellan’s phone ringing downstairs. Remembering that my cell was back at home, I thought that maybe Kellan had touched down already and was trying to let me know that he was okay.
Wrapping his sheet around me burrito-style, I dashed down to his kitchen. Hoping I made it in time, I breathlessly picked up the receiver.
“Hello?” I panted.
“Kiera… you okay?”
A familiar accent warmed my heart and I smiled. “Hey, Denny. Yeah, I’m good.”
A long pause. “Are you sure?”
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