down once we were before the three doors on the second floor of his house—two bedrooms, one bathroom. All three doors were open. A rar-ity, since the room I’d shared with Denny was usually kept firmly closed. I’d cleaned it out, though, while Kellan was gone.
Pulling on his arm, I decided to take a second to show him. He frowned at me, then followed. As we stepped into the doorway, I leaned back and let him look in. He smiled when he saw it. I’d gotten rid of the furniture of Joey’s—the bed, dresser, nightstand—all of it. I figured, if she hadn’t come back in nearly two years to collect it, she never was going to. And it held too many bad memories anyway. I wanted it gone, to cleanse the home.
What I’d filled it with wasn’t what you’d expect in a second bedroom.
There wasn’t a bed, there wasn’t a cabinet holding winter clothes. There wasn’t a TV. There was however, a bookcase, crammed full of every notebook of Kellan’s that I’d ever come across. My old futon was here, folded up as a couch and Kellan’s first guitar, the one he’d had as a boy, was hanging from the wall now, a nostalgic piece of art. I’d added a small desk under the window, highlighted in warm curtains. A CD player rested on an old coffee table in the corner, some favorite discs of Kellan’s scattered around it. All in all, it was the perfect place for him to relax and dream up new masterpieces for his band.
Shaking his head, Kellan murmured, “Is this for me?” Placing my hands on his chest, I nodded. “Yeah, since you don’t need to have a roommate anymore, I thought I’d give you a better use for the spare room.” Placing a kiss on his strong jaw, I added, “It’s all for you, for your art.”
He smiled peacefully at me and I frowned and jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “Except the closet. I needed somewhere to put my clothes.” And I also hoped that I could one day tuck a playpen in there. If Anna decided to keep her baby, I wanted to be ready.
Laughing, Kellan squeezed me tight. “It’s perfect, thank you.” Pulling away, he frowned at me. “Wait, it’s your birthday. Shouldn’t I be doing something for you?”
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I smiled at his pout. “Well, we missed celebrating your birthday last month, so you can think of this as belated birthday present.” Biting my lip, I nodded over to the other bedroom door. “But there is one thing you can do for me.” I started pulling him across the hall.
Grinning, he eyed my body up and down, making me tingle all over.
“Yeah? And that would be?”
Once he was inside our room, I closed the door behind him and pressed him up against it. His mouth dropped open as I melded the slight curves I had into his body. With our hips flush together, I could feel his responding. Picturing the way he would tease me, I ran my nose up his jaw. He swallowed and his hands clenched my hips, pulling me into the rigid ache he had.
Dropping his head back as I reached his chin, he gasped when I quickly leaned up and flicked my tongue along his upper lip. Breath heavier, he moaned my name. “Kiera…”
Squirming against his body, I trailed my mouth up his jaw. I had to stand on my tippy toes, to reach his ear. I quickly darted my tongue inside and he hissed in a sharp breath. I felt invincible in his arms, like I could do anything wrapped in the warmth of his love. Kellan had always lifted me up, encouraged me to feel like the person he saw when he looked at me. And sheltered in his arms, I was starting to feel that way.
Knowing it was something that would have normally had me huddled in a corner, mortified, I whispered something to him that I finally felt confident enough to whisper. It implied so much of how much I trusted him, how safe I felt with him, and even though it seemed dirty, it wasn’t.
It was beautiful and honest.
“I put some handcuffs under your pillow…if you want to use them on me.”
His eyes were huge when I pulled away from him. He’d joked, he’d teased, but I don’t think he ever thought I’d actually concede. Honestly, I was surprised at myself. But I…trusted him. And I loved him. And I knew he’d never hurt me, or debase me, or make me feel anything but 477
loved and comforted…and satisfied. Besides, it was one more thing I could cross off my bucket list.
My, how I’d grown since meeting Kellan.
Kellan’s eyes softened as he understood just what I was offering him.
Gently kissing me, he murmured, “I love you, Kiera. Happy Birthday.” I nodded, eagerly finding his lips again.
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26
Chapter
New Beginnings
Kellan and the guys had to take off Monday morning for Los Angeles.
We all met at Pete’s for a proper send off. Lana, the record rep from the label, showed up in a sleek stretch limo to take them to the airport.
Griffin was over the moon as he opened the door and peeked inside.
Smiling back at Kellan, he exclaimed, “They got champagne in here, Kell!”
Kellan shook his head at Griffin and twisted to look at me. “I still can’t believe he’s gonna be a dad,” he whispered, rolling his eyes.
“You and me both,” I sighed.
Anna was still at my parents. I’d called her and tried to convince her to come home early, to see Griffin off before he left again, but she’d refused. Then Dad had gotten on the line and scolded me for not calling them the minute I’d found out Anna was pregnant. I’d tried to tell him that I’d been bound to secrecy, but he didn’t much care about sibling pacts when the health and well being of his child was at stake. Once he’d gotten the stern lecture out of his system, Mom had gotten on the line and they’d both spent over an hour cautioning me on not following in my big sister’s footsteps.
I’d repeatedly told them that I was being careful, but that only made them push the virtues of waiting to be intimate until I was married.
They’d even grudgingly accepted the idea of Kellan as my potential spouse. Since I’d been in bed with Kellan at the time, the whole conversation had been kind of funny to me. And I probably shouldn’t have, but I’d chosen that moment to break the news that I’d moved back in with Kellan. I swear I could still hear the disappointed groans.
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As Griffin hopped out of the limo, Matt and Evan took a casual peek inside. On cloud nine, Griffin sauntered up to Kellan, tossing an arm over his shoulder. “This is gonna rock, man. Can you believe it? Chicks, money, mansions…there’s nothing we won’t be able to get.” Frowning, Kellan raised an eyebrow at his bassist. “Making a record doesn’t mean you’re automatically going to hit it big, Griffin. We’ll probably still be nobodies…just nobodies with a label hounding us to pay back the recording costs.”
Griffin snorted and ran his hand back through his pale hair. “Nah, won’t happen. We got something none of those other guys got.” Morbidly curious, I asked, “And what’s that?” Giving me a sly grin, Griffin thumped Kellan on the chest. “Him.” Kellan shook his head and looked down as Griffin strolled off to smack his cousin on the back of the head. Leaning into Kellan’s side, the warm, spring air clean and refreshing, I smiled up at him. “He’s right.” Closing my eyes, I muttered, “And I can’t believe I just agreed with Griffin.”
Kellan chuckled and I opened my eyes to find him gazing at me.
“You’re both ridiculous,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
Holding Kellan tight, I watched Evan scoop Jenny into a huge hug.
Matt wrapped his arms around Rachel in a more reserved way, but I clearly saw the love being exchanged in the smaller gesture. Griffin looked around for someone to hug, but the only people here, besides Lana, who had already slipped back into the car as she waited for her talent to wrap things up, were paired up. Griffin glumly looked around for a moment, then got into the car by himself. Again, I wished Anna was here for him. Odd or not, they kind of worked together.
After the couples broke apart, I gave Matt a brief hug. He smiled and hugged me back, then I was grappled from behind. Evan lifted me up, nearly plopping me over his shoulder. Kellan laughed at his friend as I screamed in surprise. Kellan put his arm around Jenny as Evan set me down. The two longtime friends said a couple of words that I couldn’t 480
hear, then hugged briefly. After that, Kellan gave Rachel a one-armed hug while Jenny patted Matt’s back.
Then the boys were waving and climbing into their limousine to go chase their rising star. And, like Griffin, I was sure that they’d catch it.
Kellan was too talented, too attractive. His fame was fated, and all I could do was hold his hand and tell him that he was worthy of it.
I had tears in my eyes as the black beauty pulled away. But they weren’t tears of worry or sadness this time. No, I was proud of him, immensely proud of him. How many people get an opportunity like this and actually go for it? I had to believe it was a small amount that chose to reach for their dreams, even if they seemed impossible.
And once Kellan was safely tucked away in a recording studio, laying down the tracks that would soon be searing the souls of fans across the globe, I turned my attentions back to my dreams, my goals. I was graduating in a few weeks from college, and I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life.
I wanted to write. I wanted to be an author, with my name on the cover of a story that I’d created. I wanted it more than anything.
I found that all the time I’d spent writing my required papers, had opened up something in me. I enjoyed the quiet times I had, when I could let my thoughts pour out onto the page, instead of keeping them bottled inside. After Kellan and I had had an honest discussion about how badly we’d messed up our relationship by starting it with a betrayal…I’d started writing about it. At first, I was just jotting down notes as I had coffee with Cheyenne or Jenny, but after a while, I got immersed in it.
I started reliving the past as I wrote it. It was like watching a movie in my head, one that I wished I could have stopped sometimes, as parts of it were exceedingly painful, but it was therapeutic, too. I didn’t hold back any details either. It was an emotional, soul bearing rollercoaster ride of just what had gone down between Kellan and I. Our slow build up, our passionate releases, our attempt to bottle up what we’d felt behind a wall of friendship, our heated fights—I wrote it all.
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I figured I would come out the bad guy in the story, hated, reviled for betraying a man as good as Denny. Maybe it would be different, if Denny were the cold, abusive or jealous type, but he wasn’t. Denny was a good man, a great man, so I knew that I’d come out as the heartless one. But that was okay. I’d done it, and I had to live with the consequences of doing it. And, anyway, that wasn’t who I was anymore. I’d grown, being with Kellan. I’d learned a lot about myself, about who I wanted to be. I was still struggling through my insecurities to be that person, and that’s something that I’d probably have to push myself with every day, but I was becoming that person.
The confident woman who’d shaken her booty for her boyfriend, while dancing around in the kitchen eating pizza—she was in here somewhere, and she was ready to come out.
Time flew by as I prepared myself to leave the life of higher education.
With work and finals and my sister’s return to Seattle, I barely had time to sleep. But somehow I managed to pull it off, and before I could com-prehend it, the middle of June was upon me…and I was about to become a University of Washington graduate.
As promised, Kellan flew back from Los Angeles to attend the ceremony. Sitting on our bed, he distracted me with small talk about his album while I searched through my dresser for something suitable to wear. As I listened to Kellan’s voice as he went over the technical aspect of recording, I felt butterflies of excitement stir in my belly. I’d done it. It had been hard, and taken a toll on me, for sure, but I’d made it through the academics. And now I had to be put on display.
That was definitely the downside to graduating. But oddly, I was looking forward to it. Maybe because I knew Kellan was going to be there.
And Anna. And my parents, since Kellan had gotten them plane tickets to come out here just to see me graduate. Even Denny had said he’d come. Everyone I considered family would be in the audience, cheering me on. I found a lot of strength in that.
Holding up a pair of black slacks and a gray button-up shirt, I wondered if it screamed “graduate.” A voice in my doorway pulled my attention that way.
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