dopey, satisfied look on her face while she adjusted her hair and clothes.
I figured they’d already gone a round then…maybe two.
Slapping Griffin on the shoulder, Kellan filled him in on what was going on. Griffin was naturally over the moon and took off to grab his cousin, who had apparently been working out a section of the music with Evan in a quiet space. I smiled as I thought over them practicing before playing, instead of flirting with the ample amount of eager women that seemed to be around. Rachel was right, it was all about the music with Matt. Evan too, in a way.
Kellan shrugged and led us to an elevator being blocked by a security guard. Backstage clearance didn’t get you upstairs, apparently. With Anna giggling and clutching my arm, the three of us got waved past the guard after Kellan said a few words to him. He gave Kellan an approving look as the elevator doors closed behind us, like he thought Kellan was about to have a threesome with me and my sister. Ew.
While Anna reached into her bag, grabbing a sucker, and I did not want to know why, Kellan dropped my bag and wrapped his arms around me. Kissing me a little too passionately, considering my sister was watching, he murmured, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this earlier…but I’m glad you’re here.”
I sighed, running my fingers through his hair. “I’m glad I’m here, too.” All the stress of the last few weeks washed off of me as his mouth explored mine. I was just wishing we had some more privacy when the elevator stopped and the doors dinged open. Anna smiled at us around her lollipop before stepping out.
Kellan grabbed my bag again, as well as my hand. “So,” he asked merrily as we exited, “anything you’ve been holding off on telling me?” He laughed as he said it, so I was sure he didn’t actually know anything. Anna frowned as she gave me a pointed look. She obviously wanted me to tell him. And I would…I should. He should know Denny had reappeared in his absence. But just like me having to deal with the swarms of women downstairs, Kellan was going to have to trust me.
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Inhaling deep, I was just about to tell him when his phone buzzed on his hip. Frowning slightly, he reached into his back pocket. He silenced it without looking at the number, then put it back in his pocket. Staring straight ahead, he kept walking down the hall like it was nothing. Counting off all of the people that I knew in Kellan’s head, I wondered who’d just called him. Lana was waiting in the room we were getting closer to, and the guys were all on their way up. It wasn’t Griffin this time. Of course, I was almost positive that it hadn’t really been Griffin last time.
All of the momentary good feelings that I’d had about us faded as I watched him purposely avoid looking at me. He was still hiding something and I had no idea what…or who. Tears stinging my eyes, I shut my mouth and said absolutely nothing about Denny being in town.
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18
Chapter
Let it Go
I stared at my hands as we all sat around a large, oak table. Lana, the attractive rep from the record label, was handing the band papers with a lot of fine print. The boys were silently reading through it while Lana broke it down into layman’s terms. I tuned her out, focusing instead on the music drifting up through the floor. They weren’t even halfway through the show yet, so Kellan and the guys had more than enough time to open this door to opportunity.
When Lana finished speaking, Kellan glanced up at her then looked over to Matt and Evan. “What do you guys think?” he asked quietly.
Having just heard about this deal for the first time, they both looked over at him with serious expressions. As one, Matt’s blond, spiky head and Evan’s buzzed-cut brown head, twisted to look at each other. Then they both smiled and turned back to Kellan. Matt nodded. “Yeah, we’re in.”
Kellan beamed at his band-brothers as Lana showed the boys where to sign. From what I could make out from the contracts, they seemed pretty fair; the boys weren’t getting ripped off or anything. They’d still have control over what songs they produced and released, so Kellan would still be able to write his own stuff. Their profits would be mild from the first album, but they were contracted for a total of three, with options for more if those were successful. And I was sure they would be. I’d yet to meet someone who didn’t like their music.
While Kellan nodded and smiled at his friends, I heard a disgruntled sound from the other side of him. Feeling a little melancholy after Kellan’s weird phone moment in the hall, I looked over at Griffin, scowling at a piece of paper.
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“Dude, Kell, did you read this? I don’t believe this shit!” Matt chuckled and murmured, “I don’t believe that you can actually read…”
Griffin glared at him, but held up what looked like a memo from the stack of papers and thrust it out to Kellan. Kellan cast me a quick, nervous glance. “Yeah…I read it.”
My curiosity beating out my common sense, I asked Griffin, “Read what?”
Griffin held the paper up to me, as if I was supposed to read the tiny font from the several spaces away from him that I was seated. “This says that we shouldn’t have sex with all the girls hanging around, because chicks will try and screw us just to get knocked up! So we have to pay them to raise the kid! For eighteen years!” He stared at me with a look of complete shock on his face, like that thought had never, ever occurred to him before. I would have found it humorous, but already in a sour mood, I narrowed my eyes at Kellan.
“They gave you a pamphlet on sleeping with fans?” He shrugged and studied his papers. “It’s just a warning…” Lana spoke up, to clarify. “It’s a standard precaution that we give to all of our rising celebrities. They will be the target of many different sorts of people, and we give them guidelines on how to best protect themselves from…being manipulated.”
She smiled sweetly at me. “It’s the company’s way of protecting the asset. It’s a very common practice nowadays.” Laughing a little, she shrugged. “Athletes have to sit through a seminar about it.” Leaning down to rifle through her suitcase, she murmured, “They never listen though…”
Griffin snorted and threw his pen down. “Well, what’s the point of being a rock star if I can’t bang the groupies?” 334
Rolling my eyes, I found myself muttering, “I thought it was supposed to be about the music?”
Griffin, unfortunately, heard my sullen comment and chose to respond to it. “No, no I’m pretty sure it’s the *.” Flushing, I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest. Jackass.
Kellan reached over and patted my thigh. I wanted to smack his hand away for some reason. Griffin’s comment just cut a little too close to home. I heard my sister smack Griffin across the head and looked back to see him scowling at her and rubbing the sore spot.
“What?” he muttered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head as Matt laughed at his nimrod relative.
“Dude, it doesn’t say you shouldn’t have sex. It says you should always use protection.” Matt rolled his eyes. “You can still sleep with them if you want, just wrap it up.” Smirking, he shook his head. “And please do. The last thing the world needs is another you.” Griffin turned his glare to Matt. “Fuck you, man.” Looking a little defeated, Griffin looked over at Kellan again. “Is that true? Do girls really do that?”
Squeezing my leg, Kellan shrugged. “Some.”
Picking his pen back up, Griffin started signing the papers. “Well that’s fucked up.”
Kellan, finished with his stack, handed his papers to Lana. She smiled at him as she tucked them in her briefcase. It was a friendly smile, like she clearly liked him on a personal level as well as a professional one. I wasn’t exactly thrilled that he was friends with her, but I wasn’t really surprised either. Kellan made friends everywhere he went, even if he wasn’t always aware of it. Sometimes I think he thought he was completely alone in the world, but he wasn’t. Even without me, he had a wide circle of people who cared about him.
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Kissing my cheek, he ran his lips up to my ear. Closing my eyes, I heard him whisper, “I still have forty-five minutes of free time…want to go somewhere more private?”
I could only nod as a flush of desire swept through me. I may still have doubts and insecurities, I may still question whether or not he’d been a little too friendly with Lana, or some fan, and I may still want to rip his phone out of his pocket and read his secretive messages…but ultimately, I loved him and I’d missed him, and I wanted to be alone with him.
Kellan stood, telling the guys he’d see them before they went on. Matt and Evan glanced at me, smiled, then nodded. Griffin stared at his contract, looking horribly confused. Anna leaned over his shoulder, her breasts pressing into his arm. He shifted his gaze to stare right down her cleavage. Then he didn’t seem so confused. Then he didn’t seem to care much about the contract at all.
Still gallantly holding my bag, Kellan led us out of the building through a secret, hidden exit. It let out right by their busses parked behind the building. Pushing open a bus door, Kellan smiled back at me and nodded to it. “Come on, let me show you where I live now.” I giggled a little as I clutched his hand. I’d never been on a tour bus before. Mirrored sets of plush chairs were under the huge windows, small tables tucked between them. It sort of reminded me of the inside of a train and I smiled, remembering that my first train ride was with Kellan…ages ago.
Kellan tossed my bag on one of the empty tables, then led us through a curtained off area. There were no outside windows in this portion of the bus and as the heavy curtain fell back into place, the only light reaching us was from the tiny bulbs embedded in the floor.
Kellan twisted to face me, wrapping his arms around my waist. It was quiet in here, our breathing the only sound not absorbed by the heavy fabric doors. Leaning his head against mine, Kellan softly said,
“Welcome to my bedroom.”
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My breath picked up as his lips inched closer to mine. “Your bedroom?” I whispered, my voice coming out a little huskily. The anticipation of being with him made my body feel like Jell-O.
His lips angled away from my mouth, to rub against my jaw. My eyes fluttered as his breath washed over my skin. “Mine and the other guys…” One of his hands slid down my backside as he trailed soft kisses down my neck. Breathing heavier, I tilted my head so he could explore all the way down.
Murmuring as he went, his voice just as husky as mine, he continued describing his traveling home. “We’re all packed into these cubbies, like sardines.” He got to the base of my throat and moved over to lightly run his tongue up the center. I gasped, dropping my head back as my hands ran over his backside.
Making a deep, satisfied noise as he reached the top, his free hand not cupping my bottom grabbed my cheek. “It’s not as spacious as your bed back home, but there’s just enough room for two…” He rested his face against mine, his lips so close, we were nearly touching. It was hard to focus on anything other than those lips, but I made myself look over at what he was talking about. Lining the walls of this enclosed area, were bunk beds. There were four beds per stack, with two stacks per wall. Each bed had a curtain closing it off…for privacy, I guess. They looked exceedingly small and claustrophobic.
Kellan’s hand on my cheek released me, as he pointed to the bottom one in the stack we were leaning against. “That’s mine,” he whispered.
“My home away from home, where I try and get some sleep with a bunch of snoring, smelly dudes around me.” He chuckled a little, then sighed and brought his hand back to my face. Pulling back to look at me, his face gorgeous, highlighted by the soft lighting along the floor, his dark eyes searched mine. “Where I dream about you…where I miss you…”
His eyes watered a little as I watched him take me in, which made mine water a little. “I miss you too, Kellan.” 337
Then I couldn’t hold off anymore, and my hand came up to tangle into his hair, pulling his lips into mine. He groaned at my force, then kissed me back just as hard as I was kissing him. The quiet space was quickly filled with fast breaths and noisy moans as we reconnected. Pushing me against the bunk bed frame, Kellan reached down to hitch my leg around his hip. I scratched my nails down his back as his body lined up with mine. Damn, maybe I’d just let him take me right here, pressed up against the beds.
Filling with need every second his mouth was on mine, I reached down and pushed up his shirt. He helped me halfway through, tossing his shirt somewhere over his shoulder. I drug my fingers over the swirls of my name inked across his chest and he hissed in an erotic breath, whispering something that sounded like I love you, or I miss you, or maybe even I want you…I was too dazed to know for sure.
As he pushed his hips into mine, grinding the hardness of his ache with the softness of mine, I wrapped my arms around his head, pulling him into me. God I’d missed him. His lips attached to my neck as his fingers worked their way up my shirt. When he had the material far enough, he pulled aside my bra and enclosed his hot mouth over a sensitive nipple. An overly sensitive nipple. A nipple that had apparently missed his caress, as just his mouth being on it brought me right to the edge of climaxing.
Knowing we were alone, I let out a long cry as his tongue threatened to push me over the edge. He moaned against my skin as he felt my body tensing for that glorious moment. Pulling back his hips, he used just one hand to quickly unbutton my jeans. I cried out, “Yes,” as his fingers headed down for the spot that would definitely send me spiraling into bliss. As nice as his erotic notes and steamy phone calls had been, there was just nothing that compared to him physically touching me.
I was gripping his shoulders and panting with everything I had, waiting for his finger to slide against me…just once…when a flash of light entering the room nearly blinded me.
Kellan instantly removed his hand from my jeans and released my breast, helping me smooth the fabric back into place. Ice washed over me, killing my near-release. I struggled to breathe like a normal person.
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