I crossed my arms and gripped my sides. “I hurt him, I hurt me. You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Tell me you don’t love me,” he whispered. “Say it, Stella,” he dared as I blinked out a fresh set of tears. When I stayed mute, he shoved his hands back into his slacks. “I thought so.”
But he wasn’t done, and the charged air between us said he might never be.
“Come with me,” he beckoned, and I shook my head. “I can’t.”
He cursed as he ran a hand through his hair.
“You can’t expect me to leave my life for you, Crowne. Last time you—”
His eyes snapped to mine. “I what, Stella?”
“You forgot me,” I whispered. “You showed up at that concert with another girl. Did you forget?”
“I was so hell-bent on trying to get you out of my head, Stella. It meant nothing. Nothing to me.”
“But it meant everything to me, Reid. You—” I swallowed. “It doesn’t matter. It can’t. I’m with Nate.”
“Stop saying his goddamn name!” Reid hissed as he looked at the floor between us, taking rapid breaths before he slowly brought his gaze to mine. “I’ll keep waiting.” He leveled me with the sincerity in his voice and leaned in to kiss my temple. “I never forgot you, Stella. Not you, not us, not any of it.”
He pulled back, leaving me spent completely by his smell, his words, and his eyes trailing down my body. “It’s not too late.” He opened the door behind him and slipped out, taking his warmth away.
Burn
Usher
I walked toward the private bar to avoid the eyes of everyone at the party. I needed a minute to get my head together. Tumbling from his words, the faint press of his lips against mine, his promises, I stumbled blindly into the room and was stopped short by the sight of my sister, Neil, and Reid drinking at the bar.
Paige saw me and stopped my retreat. “Stella.”
“Hey,” I said, approaching her.
“We’re hiding. Uncle Moto is trying to DJ now.”
Reid piped in, “How many uncles do you have?”
“A million,” my sister and I said in unison.
Paige was three sheets to something as she sat a shot of tequila down in front of me. I looked back at Reid as the blood rushed to my face. It was there, the heat, the burn, his words pulverizing all reasons to stay away from him. He loved me, and I was helpless against the pull. I needed to get away before the flames licked me and the rest of him consumed me.
“You okay?” Paige said, looking over her shoulder. “What’s going on?” she asked between Reid and me.
“Nothing,” I murmured.
Paige looked accusingly at Reid. “I thought this was over.”
“It is,” I snapped.
She turned in her seat, surveying us both. “Clearly it isn’t.”
“Paige,” I protested, realizing my sister was the most intuitive drunk in the history of mankind.
“Bullshit,” she snapped. “I could sense it then and I can sense it now.”
She glared at Reid. “She has a boyfriend, you know.”
“Stop it,” I barked.
Reid nodded with an, “I know,” his eyes burning a hole through us both.
“Paige, I’m fine,” I said, trying to keep the angry, tequila-filled Latina at bay. Seemed I wasn’t the only one with some unspoken resentment.
“You can’t get upset, Stella. I can’t ever see you like that again!”
I jerked her to face me. “Stop!”
She pulled away from my grip to face Reid head on. “No. Not this time. He needs to know.”
“Please, Paige. Please,” I pleaded.
“Know what?” Reid asked, his jaw turning to granite. Neil took a step forward. “Paige.”
“He needs to know you had a stroke the last time he left your door.”
All animation fell from Reid’s face.
“Yeah,” Paige continued. “After you decided to drop by that New Year’s Eve and pay her a visit. She had a stroke in her sleep.”
Reid stumbled back as if she’d just struck him. “What the fuck?”
Neil gauged Reid’s shock and interjected. “Paige!” he scorned, trying to do damage control, “Reid, chill out, man,” he said, backing him away from the both of us.
“It’s true,” she snapped at Neil before she looked back to Reid. “Loving you damn near killed her. She went down hard, Reid. Proud of yourself? Because you hurt her, my baby sister! She had to put medical tape on her eye to keep it closed for months so she could sleep normally.
I skipped right from horror to humiliation.
Tequila. Is. The. Fucking. Devil.
Or Paige was. I couldn’t definitively decide at that moment.
That was the most embarrassing fact about my stroke, aside from my slightly lazy eye, which everyone swears is barely even noticeable. I was over the theatrics of the whole episode, which was ironic because that’s what got me in the hospital in the first place. Waking up with my motor skills on the fritz was terrifying, but I recovered quickly. Still, my family made too much out of it. I wasn’t dying. I didn’t have a condition. I’d had a reaction. And Reid was feeding into it.
He was throwing Neil’s arms off as he tried to get to me. “Stella.” His face fell as his eyes swam with unshed tears while he tried to push past Neil, who was doing his best to try to keep him from confronting me. I remained calm because I had to. My heart was threatening to start that odd beat. As much as I wanted to push past all the debris between us, I was helpless against it. My family, my new life with Nate, even my own damn heart refused to let him past it.
“Is it true?” he asked with a haunted voice. He was so breathtakingly beautiful in that moment, vulnerable and susceptible to the cruelty of whatever venom that came at him. Larger than life, he had conquered the world, only to be spat at by the ones who set him off to do it.
Paige would never forgive herself when she sobered up.
“Reid, it’s not your fault,” I swore to him as he shattered like I knew he would.
“Goddammit, Neil,” he said, pushing at him to get to me, “just let me talk to her!”
“Stop, please,” I begged them both as I turned to glare at Paige. “Why? Why hurt him like that?”
She threw her shoulders back. “He can’t hurt you anymore, Stella. He won’t.” She looked back at Reid. “Just leave her alone. If you care about her, just leave. Her. Alone.”
Reid stopped fighting as her words hit him like blows. He jerked himself away from Neil’s clutches before he cleared the bar of every piece of visible glass.
Paige shrieked as I took a step toward him. “Reid.”
His breath sounded in gasps as he hung his head, broken. I reeled on my sister, rage boiling over. “Damn you, Paige!” I turned to Neil with a shriek. “Get her out of here!”
Paige looked between us with wide eyes and hesitation, but let Neil usher her out of the room.
I steadied my breathing in an attempt to calm his.
“Stella.” His voice was a whisper as he turned to me. A tear fell from his eyes, pain twisting his face.
“I had my first stroke when I was fifteen,” I told him. “It was not your fault.”
I saw him visibly crack in front of me with his question. “And when I left?”
I shook my head. “It was so mild, Reid. I didn’t even feel it. It happened in my sleep. The doctors think it was because I overheated and then stood in the cold.”
“For how long?”
“Long enough,” I said, hating myself for it.
“How long were you out there after I left?” he asked.
“Too long.”
“It’s not my fault, huh?” He looked me over skeptically. “Then why did you overheat?”
I shrugged. “I’ve always been emotional. Like I said, the same thing happened when I was fifteen. I was fighting with Paige, of all people, so easy for her to point the finger. That had nothing to do with you.”
“Please don’t lie to me,” he said softly. “Please, Stella.”
“This isn’t life-threatening.” Okay, that was a small lie. “I have to try to stay cool, calm. It’s not a big deal. I just can’t do extreme weather, and I can’t go postal. I’ll live a long life.” That was the truth.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Because that night was supposed to be goodbye,” I said. “Because I had Nate, Reid. I have Nate, and he takes care of me.”
Reid swallowed hard as he looked at the mess of glass on the floor.