He lowered his spoon. “Come on, princess…” He gave me a look. “You don’t really believe that’s all we’ve been doing, do you?”
“I know we just had it yesterday, but it’s a craving,” a voice said as someone walked into the ice cream parlor. As I looked up, I saw Autumn walking in as Finn held the door open for her. The moment they saw me, their faces went pale, almost as if they’d walked straight into a ghost.
“Grace,” Autumn muttered, her voice shaky.
My eyes fell to her stomach where a small bump was forming, and nausea overtook me.
Finn was quick to drop his hand from her lower back, which he had been massaging as they entered. His eyes darted back and forth between Jackson and me then he cleared his throat, but he didn’t say a word.
Autumn’s eyes watered over, but I groaned. “Don’t do it.”
“Don’t do what?” she asked.
“Cry.”
“I…I won’t. It’s just…” She began crying, and she was still beautiful.
That made me want to cry.
“I’m just going to run to the restroom,” she said, hurrying away.
Finn kept standing there, and he awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So, you two are like…buddies now?” he asked, his voice deeper than it had ever been, which was odd.
“Finley, don’t do this,” I warned. “Just go.”
“It’s just a question,” he said, moving in closer. He tilted his head my way. “I’ve been calling you.”
“I blocked your number, remember?”
“We should talk.”
“I think you should go,” I said sternly. The wave of comfort that washed over me as Jackson placed a hand on my knee and squeezed it under the table was shocking. I needed that. I needed him there.
“Yeah, but—” Finn started.
“You should do as she said,” Jackson said harshly.
“Or maybe you should mind your own business,” Finn shot back. He looked at me, then toward my ice cream. “Since when do you like peanut butter ice cream? You always get strawberry.”
“I’m trying something new.”
“Yeah?” he huffed, glancing at Jackson once more. “Is that what you’re doing?”
“All right, on that note, we’re leaving. Enjoy your date with Autumn,” I said, standing up from the table.
“It’s not a date. It’s just…ice cream. She’s been having cravings.”
“I don’t care.”
“What’s that on your back?” he inquired, seeing the plastic covering my new tattoo. “Jesus, did you get a tattoo? Your mom’s going to flip out.”
“Finn, can we stop this? We aren’t having conversations anymore, okay? Come on, Jackson. Let’s go.”
As we began to walk away, Finn quickly grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me closer to him. “This isn’t you, Grace. Whatever’s going on between you and this guy…this isn’t you.”
“You have no clue who I am,” I told him.
“Maybe not, but you have no clue who he is.”
“Let me go, Finley.”
“No. I can’t let you go with this guy,” he insisted as I tried to twist out of his grip.
Jackson stepped forward and lowered his voice as his gaze pierced Finn. “You have five seconds to let her go before I rip your arm from the socket.”
For a moment, Finn debated, uncertain if he should believe the threat or not.
“You better listen to him,” I warned. “Last time a guy stepped out of line, he snapped his cell phone in half.”
Finn dropped his hold on me and took a step back. “It’s only a matter of time before he hurts you, Grace. People like him always snap.”
“And people like you always let people like me down.”
“You’re acting like a fool,” he barked, but I didn’t even give him a reply.
I was so tired of being in his presence.
I took Jackson’s hand in mine and we walked out, my stomach in knots and my mind spinning. I hated how Finn still had that effect on me, how he could make me feel so small and na?ve.
That was the biggest difference between the two men standing in front of me.
Finley always caged me.
Jackson allowed me to fly.
34
Jackson
After the run-in with Finn and Autumn, we went back to my place where I had a night of watching Game of Thrones planned. I had everything ready—popcorn, cherry cola, and her favorite candy: Reese’s peanut butter cups.
It amazed me that I knew her favorite candy.
I’d never let anyone close enough to learn their favorite things.
I hoped the distractions would help get Grace’s mind off the interaction with the two people who’d hurt her the most.
After I set everything up on the coffee table, I went to grab the cola from the fridge, and I stopped when I saw Grace glancing at the tattoo in the mirror. There was a small smile that looked more like a frown upon her lips.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just…” She turned to me and lightly shrugged. “Today’s my anniversary.”
“Oh, I didn’t know…” A knot formed in my gut at the thought. I’d been pretty stupid lately—letting my feelings for her grow. There was no real point, really. She was still a married woman, and she could go back to her husband at any moment when she got sick of doing whatever it was she and I were doing. Plus, it wouldn’t be long before our summer fling came to an end, and she went back to her reality in Atlanta.
We’d made a deal, and it was perfectly clear that come the end of August, she’d go her way and I’d go mine.
She owed me nothing.
Still…I wanted all of her.
“Seeing Finn in town with Autumn must’ve been hard for you,” I remarked.
“No, Jackson.” She shook her head, placing her hand on my forearm. “Not that anniversary. It’s the anniversary of my first miscarriage.”
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”
I felt like such a dumbass.
“No, it’s fine. I mean, it’s not, but it is, you know? That’s why I wanted to get the tattoos today, to honor them. I’m not gonna lie, though—running into Autumn and seeing her pregnant today of all days really hit me hard.”
“I cannot believe that happened,” I whispered, combing her hair behind her ear. “I cannot understand how the two of them could’ve ever done that to you.”
“She gave him the one thing I couldn’t,” she replied. “That’s all I ever wanted to be for him, ya know? For me. All I ever wanted was to have a family, to be a mother, and for some reason, I couldn’t do the thing women are supposed to be able to do. I couldn’t…” She took a sharp inhale and closed her eyes. “All I wanted was to give him a family, and instead, he went out and created one for himself.”
“I’m so sorry, Grace.”
She gave me the saddest tight smile and shrugged. “Sometimes life is so unfair, but I guess that’s the way it is. I guess I’m just an almost girl.”
“An almost girl?”
“You know…” She released a hard exhale. “The girl who almost gets the dream. I almost had a forever love, I almost had a forever marriage, and I was almost a mother, but after seven losses, I finally realized it wasn’t in the cards for me. The doctors said if we kept trying, my body wouldn’t be able to take it, but truthfully, I was more worried about my mind. I felt like I was losing it with each day that passed. I hadn’t even had a chance to come to terms with that fact before Finn walked out on me. My mind was too broken. My heart was too sore. I’m just tired of being an almost person, that’s all.”
“That’s not a thing,” I told her, taking her hand in mine. “Being an almost mother isn’t a thing. You have seven children, whether they made it here or not doesn’t take away from the fact they existed. They were yours, and they were loved fully if only for those small moments. You are a mother, Grace. I am so, so sorry you were never able to hold your babies, but you are, and always will be, a mother.”
Her body began to tremble, and I pulled her in closer, trying my best to let it be known that she wasn’t alone that night.
“I sometimes pretend I knew their genders, and I gave them all names,” she confessed.
“What are their names?”
“Emerson, Jamie, Karla, Michael, Jaxon, Phillip, and Steven,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.