When she reaches for the button on my jeans, I stop her. “Let me touch you first.”
Her eyes meet mine as she lies on her back in an invitation I can’t refuse. I hover over her, supporting myself on one hand while the other slides between our bodies to cradle her between her legs. The slick heat on my fingers makes me dizzy with lust. With need.
She closes her eyes. “Don’t hate me for this tomorrow.”
“I could never hate you.” But I hesitate. “Do you want to stop?”
“No. Please.” She lifts her hips, pressing into my touch as if asking for more. “It’s just that I’m afraid you’ll—”
“Shh.” I lower my mouth to hers and kiss her hard. “There’s nothing you need to be afraid of right now. Not from me.”
“I need you. I want this.”
I slide a finger inside her. She’s hot and tight and so damn wet. As if she’s been thinking about this as long as I have. “You feel so good,” I whisper into her neck. “So fucking hot.”
“Oh my God.” She rocks into my hand, moaning when I suck at her neck and nibble the path to her shoulder. “Levi.”
I fuck her with my hand, loving the way she tightens around me, loving the movement of her hips growing more erratic, more desperate. I commit every piece of the moment to memory. The flush of her cheeks in the moonlight, the way my name comes in a gasp off her lips like she’s breathing me in, the way her moans of pleasure mingle with the light breeze floating through the trees.
When she comes, it’s so exquisite that I nearly do too. My blood pulses hard and hot toward my cock, sending a lightning bolt of pleasure down my spine.
Swallowing, I pull away.
She grabs my wrist to hold me close. “Where are you going?”
I shake my head. “Nowhere.” I don’t want to tell her that the pressure of her thigh against my cock nearly had me embarrassing myself in my jeans. “I’m right here.”
“Make love to me,” she whispers.
“Ellie, I—”
She puts a finger to my lips. “I have no regrets. No matter what happens, tonight is a gift. It’s what I want. If you want it too, don’t pull away. Not yet.”
I don’t like the yet or the idea that she’s already planning an end to this, but I focus on the rest. Tonight is a gift. It’s what I want.
I watch her as I strip out of my jeans. I push them down my legs and kick them to the side as the cool night air washes over my bare skin.
Her eyes are glued to me, watching every movement. Her gaze skips over my bare chest down to my hard cock.
I reach into the back window of my truck and grab a condom from my stash.
She laughs. “You’re quite the Boy Scout, aren’t you?”
I grin at her, putting the condom on. “Always prepared?”
“Hurry,” she murmurs, reaching for me.
“I’d rather not hurry. I want to go slow. To take my time. But you’ve got me feeling like a teenage boy, so I’m not sure either of us will have much say in the matter.” I lower onto her, pressing a kiss to her mouth. “You’re sure?”
Nodding, she runs her hands down my back and lifts her hips to meet me. “Yes. Please.”
“No regrets.” I hold her gaze. An owl cries in the distance and the frogs sing, but the whole world seems to quiet as I slide into her.
I press deeper and she throws her head back. Her eyes close and a moan escapes her lips. “Levi,” she whispers, and I fucking love the sound of my name when she says it like that—laced with pleasure and gratitude. As if in this moment I’m everything that matters in her world.
I don’t move at first. Our bodies are connected. How did we get here, and why the hell did it take us so long?
“I’m in love with you,” I whisper. She gasps, and her eyes fly open and meet mine. I lower my mouth to cover hers before she can speak, kissing away her worry and questions. “I’m not looking for you to say it back. I just love you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time, and I wanted you to know.”
She wraps her legs around my waist and squeezes me tighter. Threading her fingers through my hair, she guides my mouth back down to hers. I know it’s the best response she can offer me right now—being here with me, giving herself to me. I won’t ask for more. Not yet.
I’m greedy to get her caught up to where I’ve been for years, but all I can do is show her what my love feels like and hope hers comes with time.
Ellie
Friday, October 26th
Levi told me he loves me.
Something about the sun setting over the lake triggered memories of the night Levi brought me here. I was walking back to the car when the context for “No regrets” came to me so clearly that my knees nearly buckled. Since that moment, I haven’t taken my eyes off him.
Today, we were damn near naked, and he pulled away after a single kiss. But when we were here in August, he didn’t exercise so much control. “I’m in love with you.”
The words were braver than I felt—not a mercy kill to our friendship, but a promise I didn’t deserve. He loved me. Whatever happened, I wouldn’t be alone.
I might not have said the words in return that night, but I felt them aching in my chest all the way through to my fingertips. I just didn’t know what to do with my love, or how to handle the fact that it wasn’t new. My feelings for Levi have grown and evolved since the night we met, from lust for a stranger, to affection for a friend, to love and loyalty for a man who was my rock. He carried me through some of Colton’s roughest patches, was there to pick me up when Colton couldn’t. I didn’t tell him how I felt, but we made love. That was my way of saying he meant something to me when I wasn’t in a position to make any promises in return.
The memory of his body over mine sends chills of anticipation up my spine and makes me want to reach for him. I can’t blame him for pulling away today. I walked away from Levi after we slept together. I took Colton back and put on his ring.
Is Levi right? Was that decision based on the baby alone? When I slept with Levi, I didn’t believe being with Colton was the best thing for my child. Quite the contrary, in fact. Why did I change my mind?
The drive home is quiet, and Levi keeps taking his eyes off the road to steal glances in my direction. “Are you okay?”
I saw Colton. He told me to stay with Levi, then he disappeared into the woods before I could see his face. As if he’d never been there. I should tell Levi, but some deep-rooted protective instinct makes me keep my encounter in the woods a secret, and I lean into the ache of gnawing guilt. I can trust Levi, and so can Colton, but something holds me back. “I just have a lot to think about.”
He nods. “I’m always here to listen if you need to talk.”
I lean my head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”
We’re nearly back to Jackson Harbor when Levi’s phone rings through the Bluetooth in his Mustang. He taps the button on the steering wheel. “Hello?”
“Where the hell are you?” Shay’s voice comes through the speakers. Her words blur together so much I’m guessing standing up straight isn’t among her talents at the moment. “Your family is celebrating, but you’re MIA.”
Levi grins. “I thought the celebration was tomorrow. You know, the wedding, the monkey suits, the fancy decorations, and the band?”
“Pshh! Everyone knows the real party is the night before. Where are you? We’re all hanging out at Jackson Brews and trying Jake’s new IPA.”
Levi snorts. “That explains why you sound like you’re already three sheets to the wind. Did anyone warn you it’s almost twelve percent ABV?”
“I don’t need warned about beer,” Shay says haughtily. “I’m a Jackson. Not some lightweight college girl.”
“Sure, sis.”
“You should see Molly. That girl’s had twice as much as me and is barely flushed. I’m pretty sure she could drink all the Jackson men under the table.”
I stiffen. Before Shay mentioned her name, I was ready to run home, change into dry clothes, and join them. More than ready—I was eager to surround myself with old friends and forget my problems for a few hours.
“Lots of practice!” Molly calls out in the background, and Shay laughs.