Thinking about Nelson makes my heart ache. Where would I be today if Colton hadn’t stolen those paintings? If he hadn’t triggered me to leave the gallery and his father’s control? Ava doesn’t know the truth about the kind of man her father is, and once I felt guilty for keeping it from her. As the years passed, I understood it was for the best. It’s easier to protect Ava from what she doesn’t see.
“I’ll tell Colton about the baby,” I say, picking at my donut. “But this is about more than what I saw last night. Colton still lives here, but he left me two months ago.” I shrug. “Even if he has a good reason, it doesn’t change that it happened.”
“You and Colton can get through this and come out stronger,” she says. “I know you can.”
I drop the remainder of my donut in the box. “What if I don’t want us to come out of this together? What if sometime in the last two months, I left him too?”
Levi
I don’t know what I’m looking for when I walk into Jackson Brews, but when I spot Ellie at the bar, I know I’ve found it. Her legs are crossed at the knee; one black heel is hooked to a stool rung, and the other is dangling from her toes. She has on one of those fitted black skirts she likes to wear for work—the kind that comes down to her knees but hugs every inch of ass, hip, and thigh from here to there. The kind that makes my mouth water and my hands itch to touch.
She’s having his baby.
She’s sitting alone, her head bowed, her hand wrapped around her glass like its contents are the path to her salvation. She probably needs a drink about as badly as I do right now. But she’s pregnant, and the only thing I’m interested in getting drunk on is her.
I tuck my hands into my pockets and head to the bar, sliding onto the stool next to hers. “Good afternoon, sunshine.”
“Hey.” She cuts her eyes to me and smiles, but it’s not a real Ellie smile. Not the ear-to-ear, stretched-out grin I’ve spent two years watching her give my best friend. It’s not the smile that brightens her eyes every girls’ night.
I look at her glass. “I can’t decide if you’re working on a small glass of water or a large glass of vodka.”
She arches a brow. “Isn’t the glass the same size either way?”
“Nope. That would be a lot of vodka.” I make a show of squinting and holding fingers up beside it. “Like, five shots?”
She laughs. “Good thing it’s water, then. Hydration is the key to clear skin, you know.”
“Right.” I’m not sure I remember a day Ellie stepped into Jackson Brews and opted for hydration over alcohol. If she’s been drinking water all summer, how did I miss the truth?
She rubs her bare arms. “Colton is Noah McKinley’s father.”
I nod. “Ava told me this morning.”
She flinches. “I wish she would have told me.” A single tear slips from the corner of her eye and rolls down her cheek. “I feel so damn alone.”
I want to reach out and brush it away so badly that the pain of holding back cuts through me. “Did Colton move out?”
“All his stuff is still there, but he walked away and now he’s not returning my calls.” She shrugs and wipes away her tears. “He says he didn’t sleep with her. Maybe he didn’t.”
“Maybe.” I wave to Cindy and point to the bourbon. I’ve been thinking about Colton’s strange behavior a lot since Ellie knocked on the door last night. I want to believe he’s just an ass who doesn’t deserve Ellie, but I know him too well for that. “I’m starting to wonder if he found out about the kid and fell off the wagon.”
She meets my eyes.
Ellie and I know Colton’s secrets—or at least more than most people do. We know how he used to dabble in drugs and how he’s had to fight to keep them from controlling his life. He’s clean most of the time, but he’s never been the kind of guy who could hide it when he wasn’t. When Colt falls, he falls hard.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” I’m afraid to ask, but not knowing something doesn’t actually keep it from being true.
“I found some pills.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “It’s hard to guess what else he’s hiding. Why keep the kid a secret from me? Why freak out and have an affair with his baby’s mama?” She shakes her head. “None of this makes sense. He’d worked so hard to get clean and then just threw it all away because he found out he was a father?”
I drag a hand through my hair and squeeze at the tension at the back of my neck. “He thinks you and I slept together last night.”
“He knew I was with you and assumed something happened. I was so angry that I didn’t deny it.” She swirls the water in her glass. “Sorry to put you in the middle of all this.”
I shake my head. “I don’t mind. Tell me what I can do to help.”
“Tell me I can do this alone.” She meets my eyes. “Tell me I can be a single mom and somehow give my baby a better childhood than my mom could give me.”
There it is. I close my eyes and let the gut punch of the truth from her lips reverberate through me.
“Like mother, like daughter, right?” Her laugh is dry. “Jesus. I sound pathetic.”
“You don’t.” I meet her eyes—bright blue and full of tears. “And you’ll be amazing. I promise you won’t be doing this alone.”
“That’s what Ava said, too.”
Ava and Jake both knew but I didn’t. Fuck, aren’t we all just swimming in secrets.
“I’m scared. I keep thinking I should consider adoption, but . . .” She places her flat hand to her stomach. “I might be too selfish for that. I never thought I’d be that girl, but here I am.”
“I’m sorry.” It’s a lame-ass thing to say, especially when I’m not sorry she’s here with me. I’m only sorry he’s hurt her. “Damn, I feel helpless. I’m a Jackson. If I can’t fix it with a strong cup of coffee or a good beer, I wanna fix it with my fists, but somehow I don’t think giving your baby’s father a black eye is going to help anything.”
“Can we just get out of here?” She wraps her hand around my wrist, and something knots hard in my gut.
“Where do you want to go? We could visit Star and see what she has on special? Or maybe dinner?”
She shakes her head. “I was thinking more out of here than that. I need some space from everyone so I can screw my head on straight and figure out what’s next.”
I blink at her. “Yeah. Sure. I know just the place.” My voice cracks, and maybe it’s the guilt I’ve been ignoring pressing down on me. Because there are rules that say you don’t run away with your best friend’s girl. You don’t bail on the friend who’s using again. You don’t help her distance herself from him, and you sure as fuck don’t relish the idea of having her alone when she’s having his baby.
Rules. I plan on ignoring every one of them.
Ellie
Levi and I walk around the back of the bar to his red pickup truck. He gives me a crooked smile as I buckle in. “Where are we going?” I ask.
“Somewhere to cheer you up.” He shifts gears, and we’re rolling.
We don’t talk on the drive, but with the music playing and the windows down, it doesn’t feel quiet. Just easy. And when we pull off the interstate onto a county road just west of Grand Rapids, I know where we’re going.
“The cabin?” I ask over the roaring wind.
He gives a sharp nod.
His family has a cabin on some land between Jackson Harbor and Grand Rapids. They go there as often as they can—for holidays, long weekends, or even the occasional Friday night bonfire. I’ve been a guest for various Jackson family occasions, but never without Colton.
We pull onto the long private drive at the front of the property, but instead of keeping right and heading to the house, Levi stays to the left and follows the road around the lake to the opposite side. The road turns from gravel to dirt and seems to stop randomly. Levi continues onto the overgrown grass and throws the truck into park right beside the lake.
I smile at him. “Are we avoiding the house for some reason?”
He shrugs as he pulls the keys from the ignition. “I figured you hadn’t been over here before, but we can go to the house if you want.”
I shake my head. “No. This is kind of nice, actually.”
He waves to the lake. “Have a seat and enjoy the view. I’m going to build a fire.”
“That sounds great. Thank you.” I grab my purse from the floorboard and hear my phone ding with a text message. Levi climbs out of the truck as I unlock my phone to look at it.
Colton: He’s gone. It’s done.