“How’s that working out for you?”
Danny kept the wad of food tucked in the side of his cheek as he glanced over to where Leah was leaning against his counter, her arms crossed over her chest, fighting a smile.
He brought his fist to his mouth. “S’good,” he mumbled.
Leah chuckled as she pushed off the counter and reached above the refrigerator for the bread, and Danny slid his plate away with a sigh. “Alright. You can say it.”
Her smile broadened as she turned and took the dish from him. “Say what? I told you so?” she asked, dumping the contents in the trash. “I would never.”
He brought his fist back to his mouth and closed his eyes, and she laughed again, giving him a gentle nudge. “Go lie down. Give me five minutes to work my magic,” she said, coming back to the counter and pulling a slice of bread from the bag.
Danny stood quickly and walked toward his bedroom, thankful to get away from the smell of his attempted breakfast. It had been a tried and true hangover cure that he and Bryan accidentally discovered when they were teenagers after drinking themselves sick off a bottle of rum they’d found in the back of Gram’s cabinet. The following morning, Bryan made them each a bacon, egg, and cheese Hot Pocket, figuring if they could get themselves to vomit, they would feel better. Instead, they were miraculously cured after eating them. It was a trick they’d used for years after that.
Danny crawled into his bed and dropped onto his stomach with a huff. He knew it wasn’t going to work, even before he pulled one out of the freezer and Leah looked at him like he’d lost his mind. He’d barely even touched alcohol in the past twelve months, and it had been years since he’d been as drunk as he was last night, so he knew it was going to take more than a Hot Pocket to get him straight again. But he was really hoping it might work. And not just because he felt like shit.
He just wanted that memory to be real.
Bryan was disappearing. Every day he slipped a little further away. He was there in pictures and in stories, but he wasn’t real anymore.
Danny just wanted something tangible. Something that would prove Bryan had actually existed.
He rolled over and flung his forearm over his eyes as another wave of nausea swept over him. He could hear her in the kitchen, the clinking of silverware and the opening and closing of cabinets as she busied herself, and he wished for the hundredth time that he hadn’t consumed his body weight in liquor last night, because he wanted to be enjoying this.
Leah, in his apartment. In his kitchen, making him breakfast like it was the most natural thing in the world.
She told him he could have whatever time he needed to get his thoughts together, but Danny knew she wasn’t going to wait forever. He also knew that as soon as he explained everything to her, whatever this was would be over. His window of time with her was closing, and he wanted to soak up every second of it before she walked away for good.
And when she left him, he was going to feel it. There was no doubt about that now. In the past few hours, she had managed to slip through the last of his defenses and stake her claim on a piece of his heart. Not because she had helped him get home last night, or because she granted him the extra time he needed to explain himself. Not even because she had stayed to help nurse his hangover.
No, what had completely won him over was the way she tried to absolve him of whatever sin he’d committed by offering up her own transgressions. She laid her shame down at his feet without a second thought—for the sole purpose of easing his suffering.
It had been a long time since he’d seen that level of bravery and selflessness in anyone.
And just like that, his world shifted. It had been such a quiet moment of transformation, nothing like the earth-shattering explosions that had changed the course of his life over the past year, but in its tranquility, it was just as powerful. With that one altruistic move, she had managed to become the measure of what a person should be in his eyes, the standard any woman would have to meet if she had even the slightest chance of winning his heart.
Danny heard her coming down the hall, and he sat up slightly, resting his weight on his elbows as she turned the corner into his bedroom with a plate in one hand and a mug in the other.
“You can quit playing sick now,” she said. “I already cleaned up the coffee.”
He smiled as he sat up further and reached for the plate she offered him. “Jesus. How about a little sympathy? I’m dying over here.”
“Oh, you poor baby,” she crooned as she sat on the edge of his bed, tucking her leg beneath her and resting the mug on her knee. She had twisted her hair up into some kind of messy knot that managed to be both adorable and sexy at the same time; it made him want to toss the plate over the side of the bed and pull her down to the mattress so he could cover her body with his.
Instead, he took a breath and sat up fully, balancing the plate on his thigh as he looked down at what she’d made for him.
“What the hell did you put on this toast?”
“My magic cure.”
Danny lifted his eyes. “It looks like cat puke.”
Leah laughed as she pulled her other leg up onto the bed to face him fully. “It’s mashed banana with a little bit of butter. The salt in the butter will help you retain water, and the bananas have potassium and electrolytes, which you really need right now. Think of it as a sports drink, only without all the sugar that messes with your stomach. Plus, solid food is always a little easier to keep down anyway.”
Danny quirked his brow as she held out the mug. “And this is hot water with lemon juice. Ideally, there should be honey in here too, but you didn’t have any.” He took the mug from her as she said, “The lemon will help settle your stomach. Plus, it’ll give you a little boost of vitamin C.”
“Wow,” he said with a nod before he looked up at her. “So, are you a raging alcoholic?”
Leah huffed as she grabbed a pillow and propped it up against his headboard. “I should’ve let you suffer through the Hot Pocket, you ingrate.”
Danny laughed as she sat back against the pillow and pulled her knees into her chest. “I have an older brother who used to party a lot when we were in high school,” she said. “It was sort of my job on weekend mornings to make him presentable before my father saw him and kicked his ass.”
“But how did you know this stuff would work?” he asked before lifting the mug and taking a careful sip, the hot liquid instantly soothing him.
“I didn’t,” she said with a shrug. “It was a lot of trial and error. There were quite a few nasty concoctions before I found this, so you should thank your lucky stars you’re getting me as a seasoned veteran.”
Danny smiled as he moved to sit back against the headboard beside her, taking a bite of the toast and chewing slowly. “It’s not bad,” he said. “Shouldn’t be too rough when it comes back up.”
Leah shook her head as she grabbed the remote from his nightstand and turned the TV on. “When you’re finished, I’ll accept your apology in the form of jewelry or designer shoes,” she said, and he laughed around his mouthful of food.
“Hey!” he complained as she flipped right past ESPN.
“Sorry, but it’s not gonna happen.”
Danny lifted his brow. “Isn’t this my television?”
“Yes, but I got the remote first. That was always the rule in my house. Besides, you don’t have to pretend you only watch sports. There are no other guys around. Judgment-free zone over here,” she said, gesturing around herself as she continued to channel surf.
“Hmm. That’s actually kind of a relief,” he said, turning back to the TV. “So…porn then?”
She scoffed, waving her hand at him dismissively just as he leaned over to put his plate between them, and the sharp crack of the remote hitting him square in the forehead was immediately followed by Leah’s panicked gasp.
“Oh my God,” she said quickly as she spun toward him, placing her hand over Danny’s where it was pressed between his eyes. “Oh my God, are you okay?”
“No porn. Duly noted,” he winced, and she pulled his hand away and replaced it with her own as she rubbed his forehead.
“I am so sorry,” she said through laughter.
“Well, you sound devastated.”
She laughed harder then, and his smile finally broke before he started laughing with her.
Leah ran her fingers over the red mark between his eyes before she reached down and handed him the remote. “You win. We can watch whatever you want. Porn. Sports. And I’ll pretend to love every minute.”
Danny took the remote as he said, “I get assaulted in my own home and my only compensation is control of the television?”
“Well, what would you prefer?”
He kept his eyes on the TV as he started flipping through the channels, but a smirk lifted the corner of his mouth.
“Right.” Leah laughed as she sat back against the headboard. “Because in your current condition, I’m sure you would rock my world.”
Danny reached for his toast. “Believe me, if given the opportunity to rock your world, there isn’t a hangover in existence that would prevent me from getting the job done thoroughly,” he said before taking a bite.
He placed the toast back on the plate and glanced over at her; she was staring at the screen, tugging gently on her bottom lip as her cheeks flushed a delicate pink.
“Well, your confidence is still intact, I see,” she mumbled, and he smiled.
It had nothing to do with confidence; it was just that he could picture what it would be like to have her, and he knew without a doubt that once his hands were on her body, everything else in the world would fall away. His hangover, his reservations, his past.
His future.
And as for being thorough? That hadn’t been bragging. That had been a promise.
“Stop!” Leah said suddenly, stilling his hand on the remote, and Danny looked up to see three overweight men in white coats standing in front of a tray of cupcakes.
“This?” he asked. “What the hell is this?”
“You’re kidding, right? Tell me you’ve never seen Cake Boss.”
“What the f*ck is Cake Boss?”
“Swear jar,” she said, taking the remote from him and turning up the volume. “It’s a reality show about a bakery in Hoboken.”
Danny pulled his brow together as he took another bite of toast, his eyes pinned on the screen. “So you just watch these dudes bake for an hour?”
“First of all, they don’t bake. They create,” she said, and Danny brought the back of his hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Second of all,” she continued, “it’s not just about them baking. You get customers’ back stories, you get a look at the lives of the guys who own the shop. Plus, the cakes they make are insane. I want to go there so bad.”
Danny grinned at her adulation as he brought the mug to his mouth. “So, why don’t you?”
“I will one day, when I have the time. It’s not like a normal bakery. It’s famous. People wait in line for hours just to get inside.”
“Huh,” Danny said, finishing his toast. “I wonder if people wait that long because they want to be on TV or if the shit they make is that good.”
“The shit is that good,” she said confidently, and Danny chuckled.
“What if you go and it isn’t? Are you ready for that level of disappointment?”
Leah rested her head back on the pillow as she turned to look at him. “I don’t mind a little disappointment now and then. It just means you’ve got high standards. I’d rather shoot high and be disappointed sometimes than just live in the middle with the illusion of being satisfied.”
Danny’s smile fell as he continued looking at her. It wasn’t the first time she’d done that: said something endearingly comical, only to follow it up with something so profound, it made him feel like the world had momentarily stopped while he absorbed her words.
She reached up then, placing her hand on his cheek as she ran her thumb over his forehead. “You’ve got a welt now,” she said softly.
He swallowed as a current of warmth trickled down his body, like a string of dominos that had been set off by the touch of her fingers.
Her eyes dropped to his mouth for just a moment before they flitted back up, and her hand slipped from his face as she sat up quickly. “Do you want more toast?” she asked, grabbing the empty plate between them and sliding off the bed.
“No, thank you,” he managed, and she nodded before she turned and headed out of his room.
Danny fell back onto the bed, blinking up at the ceiling as he exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
Jesus Christ, he wanted to kiss her again.
When they’d kissed outside The Rabbit Hole—a memory that still made his pulse spike whenever he thought of it—Leah had been drunk. And he was almost positive he had kissed her last night, but of course, he had been drunk.
He wanted to kiss her when they were both sober.
But he couldn’t take liberties like that, not while he still harbored secrets. Right now she needed to be the one calling the shots. She needed to set the tone, dictate the pace. He couldn’t risk screwing up right now. Not when he knew how badly he’d be screwing things up in the future.
Danny closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, clasping both hands behind his head before he opened them.
“Holy f*ck,” he said just as Leah entered his room, and she turned her head, following his line of sight. As soon as her eyes fell on the screen, she smiled.
“Told you,” she said, coming back to the bed. “Amazing, right?”
“That’s a cake?” he said, and she nodded.
“Yup. And every part of that is edible.”
“No f*cking way,” he said, staring in amazement at the life-sized roulette table, complete with a functioning wheel. “You can eat the numbers? And the chips?”
“They’re fondant,” she said, moving to lie down beside him. “It’s like a malleable frosting. You can make it any color you want, sculpt with it.” She rolled onto her side, facing him with a sigh. “I should have been a baker.”
He smiled as he turned toward her, lying on his side as he mirrored her position, and his eye was immediately drawn to the delicate silhouette of her profile—her neck curving into her shoulder, her waist tapering into the swell of her hip.
It was one of the most sensual things he’d ever seen.
Danny brought his eyes back to her face, and she smiled softly. “Do you feel better?”
“I do,” he said. “I can’t believe I do, but I do.”
Leah lifted her brow. “You doubted me?”
“For the first and last time,” he said, and a slow smile curved her lips.
“That was a very diplomatic answer.”
“Thank you. I’m exceptional at taking my foot out of my mouth.”
She laughed softly before dropping her eyes, and he watched her expression straighten as she bit her lip. Then she moved, pressing him onto the mattress as she rested her head on his chest.
“Is this okay?” she whispered, draping her arm over his stomach, and Danny closed his eyes as he brought his hand to her back.
“Yes,” he said, trailing his fingertips from her waist to the nape of her neck.
“I know we did this earlier, but we weren’t in your bed then, and I don’t want to…I just want to…”
She trailed off, and Danny nodded against the crown of her head before he whispered, “I know. Just this.”
Leah exhaled softly. “It just…it feels nice.”
“It does,” he said gently, pulling her into his side, and the channel changed suddenly as she rolled over the remote.
“Show me sand the floor.”
Leah gasped just as Danny pumped his fist in the air.
“Alright, Cake Boss is impressive, but it’s no match for The Karate Kid. We’re leaving this on,” he said.
“Totally,” she said emphatically as she tossed the remote behind her before snuggling closer. “This is one of the greatest movies of all time.”
Danny shifted slightly, looking down at her. “Are you being sarcastic right now?”
“Not at all,” Leah said, playing with the hem of his shirt as she kept her eyes on the TV. “When they did the remake of this with Jackie Chan, I took it personally.”
Danny laughed as he rested his head back down on the pillow. “Jacket on, jacket off!”
“What?”
“That’s how they did it in the new one. Put your jacket on, take your jacket off. That’s how he learns to fight.”
“Oh my God, I hate it even more now,” Leah said against his chest, and he smiled, running his thumb over the sliver of exposed skin on her lower back.
They watched in captivated silence as Daniel-san realized all the chores he’d been forced to do had taught him how to defend himself, and as he stared at Mr. Miyagi in awe, Danny nodded.
“There it is. Mind. Blown.”
“Right?” Leah said. “The first time I saw that scene, I’m not gonna lie, it gave me a little bit of a crush on him.”
“Yeah, well, it was good to be Ralph Macchio in the eighties.”
“I was talking about Mr. Miyagi.”
Danny burst out laughing before he pulled her a little closer.
She fit so perfectly. And not just physically, although he couldn’t deny that when she was beside him this way, it felt like she was just a natural extension of his body, as if they were two halves of the same whole.
But it was more the way she fit into his life. In a perfect world, he could see this being his existence. Spending lazy weekends cuddling with her on the couch, watching TV and cracking jokes. Wasting hours talking about things that were ridiculous and significant and sometimes both at once.
It was so easy to forget the ugliness of his reality when she was with him.
They spent the next hour watching the rest of the movie, and with absolutely no effort at all, she managed to claim another piece of his heart. The way she fiddled with the hem of his shirt without even realizing she was doing it. The way her hair smelled like spring with a little bit of coconut mixed in. The way the sound of her laugh made him laugh, even when he didn’t think anything was funny.
And by the time the credits rolled, he couldn’t resist anymore.
Danny used the tips of his fingers to brush the hair away from her forehead before he trailed them down over her cheek, and she lifted her eyes, looking up at him. He moved in slowly, and he heard her breath catch just as the end of his nose touched hers.
And then he stopped.
Her terms. It needs to be on her terms.
“Leah,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
He watched her throat bob before she murmured, “What?”
Danny lifted his chin so that their mouths were only centimeters apart before he whispered, “Can I?”
For a moment the world seemed to stop.
And then she nodded.
His mouth was on hers before she’d even finished, and she instantly leaned into him, surrendering her mouth as she allowed him to control the kiss.
He concentrated on keeping his lips gentle, parting them slightly and brushing them over hers, and she followed his lead, kissing him back with cautious reverence that made it feel like tiny flints were igniting in his veins.
It was too chaste to be dangerous, but far too sensual to be innocent.
He pulled away as soon as he felt his control slipping, and she immediately rested her head back on the pillow, exhaling shakily before she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. “You’re good at that.”
Danny smiled, blinking up at the ceiling. “I think we’re good at that.”
She ran her hands up into her hair and let out a puff of breath. “I think it’s time to take you back to your car.”
Danny nodded, raking his teeth over his bottom lip. “I think you’re right.”
They both lay there, unmoving, until Leah said, “Ten more minutes of cuddles. That’s it. And then we go.”
His lip slid out from between his teeth as he smiled. “As you wish,” he said, and she whipped her head toward him.
“Did you just quote The Princess Bride?”
“I did.”
She stared at him for a second before she curled back into his side. “Fine. Twenty minutes,” she said as she rested her head on his chest, twisting the hem of his shirt between her fingers.
Danny smiled into her hair. “Twenty minutes,” he repeated, knowing that if she asked him right now, he’d give her every single minute he had left.