CHAPTER 4
The weeks seemed to fly by in the fall. Before I knew it, it was September. I was on my way back to the house from the horse barn. I had driven in to town to do some clothes shopping for Preston before she returned home. I hadn't had much luck there; I figured I would probably have to hit a mall in Atlanta.
I stopped for a manicure while I was there. I hadn't done that in so long. As I left the shop I was trying my best not to scratch my freshly painted nails at least for the rest of the day. I was shaking my purse in order to force my keys to surface without my having to dig down for them. It worked! The problem was when I tilted my purse and shook it I had the misfortune of doing so as I stood on the slotted grill covering a storm drain. My keys fell nicely between the slats into the sewer.
(Sweet. Just my fucking luck!)
Marcus had spotted me as he was leaving the feed store and had given me a lift back to the house. He offered to take me back to my car once I retrieved my other key at home but I realized it was on Trey's keychain so I would have to wait for him to get home.
It had been a busy week. The two scheduled breedings that we had conducted had gone well. It was an extremely lucrative fee we had collected. I needed to thank my dad for the gift horse - literally. The house was a bit lonely with Preston spending a couple of weeks with Clive and Susan. I had hoped that Trey would have lightened his schedule at the office so that we could spend some alone time together but he said the caseload was killer right now. He had a major Title VII class action suit ready for trial; apparently Amber was second chair on it. That didn't make me particularly happy. I refused to allow her threat turn me into an insecure, jealous whiney-ass wife. That wasn't how I rolled.
Gina had been right when she said the world was full of skanks just waiting to close in on another woman's man. The September breeze felt good as my hair blew free. I loved the fall. It was my favorite season. The sun was shining but the air had a cool, crispness to it that left a promise of low humidity coming for at least the next few months.
I twirled around letting the sun hit my face and the wind take my hair. It felt delicious. I was back into my skinny jeans much sooner than I had expected to be. Everything seemed almost normal. I had refused to grieve the way that Trey had wanted me to; the way that my father had; the way that Gina, Tristan and Susan had. The tiptoeing around me as if I was a china doll that would break into a million pieces had grated on my nerves.
The hardest part of all of it was trying to explain to Preston as to where 'Mommy's baby' had gone. Trey had told her that her baby sister was in heaven with her grandma. Preston had no conception of that at fifteen months of age. He explained to her that 'Baby Marley' was an angel now up in heaven with 'Grandma Marley.'
I thought back to the small graveside service of a few weeks back. I recalled that tiny little casket that had held my stillborn child; the child that I had never seen. Why hadn't I noticed that I hadn't felt her kick since that morning that Gina was in labor? Maybe it was my fault. Maybe if I had paid more attention to the lack of movement something could have been done. The doctor had said there was no way I could have known.
Infections such as the one I had were rare; there were other complications. It was a fluke. One in a million.
My father had been out of sorts with the situation. He had tried to console me but consolation wasn't what I needed. I had never known this child. Marley Renaud Sinclair. It was on the granite tombstone that Trey had picked out. It read 'the beloved daughter' of Tylar and Trey Sinclair. Rest in peace our little angel.'
I hadn’t talked to Gina since the memorial service. I knew that Gina couldn’t fathom my impassiveness. I didn't see things that way. She hadn't been born yet. There wasn't the same connection that I had with Preston. It was what it was.
As I neared the circular drive in front of our house I could see Trey's Mercedes and another car parked behind it. Shit! It was Amber's sporty little BMW parked right behind Trey's car. What the hell was she doing here?
It seemed like they were spending a lot of time on this most recent case. Trey was very impassioned by it. He said this case was a 'prima facie' case against a major global company that had a long history of conspiracy and collusion.
Apparently this particular case involved infractions against older, female employees. It was another MDML situation. He had won the previous case he had worked on under MDML. That had produced another nice chunk of change for us.
I was in no mood to deal with Amber. I hoped that Trey hadn't invited her to dinner or anything. I looked at the watch Trey had bought for me for Christmas. It was only 3:30 in the afternoon. I was surprised he was home already unless they were working here. They had done that occasionally while I had been recuperating from the stillbirth delivery much to my chagrin.
Something seemed different this time. My car obviously wasn't parked in the drive. Jean was visiting her daughter since Preston was gone. Something, perhaps instinct told me to assess the situation before going inside. I retracted my steps and went around to the back of the house. I peeped through the window of the kitchen. It was clear, no one was in site. I went around to the other side in the back where the family room was located. As I crept closer to the window I could hear conversation. It was Trey's voice.
"What will you have Amber? We have wine, or I could make you a mixed drink?"
"Wine would be fine Trey, thanks."
"You've got it counselor but only one. We have quite a bit of work tonight going through these depositions and I need you at 100%."
"I'm always at 100% Trey. Haven't you figured that out yet?"
I peeped up over the window sill. Trey had his back to me thankfully as he was at the bar getting their drinks. Trey was in his business clothes; Amber was in a red Chanel suit that was short and tight. Her hair and make-up were impeccable; her nail color matched the color of her suit perfectly. She had on 4" heels that accentuated her muscular legs.
Trey handed her a glass of wine; he had a bottle of beer.
They were now turned facing each other. The window I was at was not in their line of vision.
"Cheers, counselor," she said, tapping her glass of wine against his bottle of beer.
"Cheers," he replied smiling.
They each took a drink and I noticed that Amber did not take her eyes off of him. Trey set his bottle of beer down on the coffee table and started organizing the files stacked on the table. She continued to sip her wine watching him.
"Do you want to use my laptop instead of yours since it's already out?" he asked.
"Sure thing. I'm a better keyboard jockey than you anyway," she replied with a smile.
"I won't argue that counselor," Trey said as he scooted over to allow room for her to sit next to him on the sofa.
"You'll need to log in under my password. It's ---"
"I know what it is, Trey," she replied rolling her eyes, "You might as well not even have one."
"Hey, I've got too many other important things to remember besides all these damn passwords," he mumbled.
She looked over at him, smiling.
"It's awfully quiet in here today," she commented as her long fingers pressed the keys on his laptop to log in.
"Where is that little angel, Preston?"
"Oh, she's spending time with my parents in Bristol."
"That's nice," she remarked. "Did Tylar go with her?"
"No, Tylar has been pretty busy with the horses. Her car's not out front so she may have had to go into town for something. She's been doing the shopping since Jean is visiting her daughter in Atlanta for a few days."
"There," she said sweetly, "I'm all logged in and have the depo files accessed. Which one do you want me to pull up?"
"Let's start with Smith," he replied, digging through one of the file folders stacked on the coffee table.
"Which one?" she laughed.
"Oh, that's right. We have about ten of them. How about Ohio Smith?"
"You've got it, babe," she said, typing away. "There we go."
"Read me back the testimony on page five relative to the questioning about the integrity concerns submitted."
It looked as if Amber was scanning down the screen searching for it.
"I can't find it," she replied, biting her lower lip. "Do I have the right file opened?"
Trey scooted closer looking at the screen and then back at his notes. I watched as Amber leaned over toward him, her low cut blouse underneath her opened jacket gave Trey a full few of her pushed-up breasts.
I continued to watch my husband with his gorgeous female law partner that had clearly made her intentions known to me on an earlier occasion.
I felt like a voyeur; it was wrong to spy on my husband when he had clearly given me no indication that he wasn't to be trusted. I started to turn away to go around and make my entrance when a sudden movement caught my eye.
It was Amber. She had suddenly turned her face to Trey's; she leaned into him and found his lips with her own. I stood there like a frozen statue. I watched as Trey pulled back from her and stood up. He was clearly taken aback. He raked one hand through his thick, burnished hair, shoving his other hand into the pocket of his trousers. He paced back to where she was now standing by the couch.
"Amber," he said, almost apologetically, "This can't happen."
"Why Trey?" she asked her voice soft and melodious. "We both want it and you know that."
"I don't know anything of the sort. I'm married. You know that. Have I done anything to lead you to believe that I wanted anything more from you aside from a professional friendship?"
"Trey - I am so sorry. I totally misread your vibes. I'm usually pretty good at picking up on someone's vibes. I feel like a total idiot."
She stood up from the couch and quickly grabbed her briefcase. Tears started flowing from her perfectly made up chocolate brown eyes. Her brows were furrowed into a frown as if she was angry with herself.
"Amber - wait. You don't have to leave. We can forget this happened and continue working on the case."
She collapsed onto the couch, her hands covering her face as she began to weep softly.
"Don't you see?" she asked, "I have made a total fool out of myself in front of someone that I so admire and respect. I can't face you again, Trey. I am such an idiot."
Her sobs got louder as she hung her head in apparent shame.
Trey was in front of her in a second; he took her hands and lifted her up from the couch.
"Listen," he said softly, "You aren't an idiot and I am totally flattered. You are a beautiful and talented lawyer, Amber. I've enjoyed working on this case with you. I don't for a minute want you to feel ashamed, okay? If the situation were different -"
She looked up at him with her tear stained eyes and sniffled. She nodded innocently still watching him with those big brown eyes. My stomach lurched; I knew that she wasn't finished with him yet.
"Do you really mean it, Trey?"
"I do," he said softly.
Their eyes met and held. I watched as Trey cupped her face between his hands. She studied his face as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. The same way that he had wiped my tears many times before.
Oh God. I knew what was coming next. He lowered his face to her tear stained cheeks and gently kissed one and then the other; he kissed the tip of her perfect turned up nose. He smiled looking down at her still. She laced her arms around his neck as his mouth lowered to hers.
I watched as he wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her close to him; their tongues found each playfully and passionately. This kiss continued to last for what seemed like forever. Her hands lowered to his ass, gripping it and pressing him in against her. I heard her moan his name.
I wanted to move but I was frozen to this spot. What had happened between Trey and I that he would fall victim to this manipulative bitch? Beautiful women had always paid attention to Trey; he had seemed impassive towards it. This was different. Trey had clicked with Amber from the start. Perhaps he had clicked with her in a way that he never could with me. He liked that she was his intellectual equal; he liked her spirit and her love of law. He liked that they shared the same passion for it.
I watched as Trey finally pulled himself from her. My eyes studied him; I saw that he had grown hard for her.
"I can’t do this," he rasped, wiping her lipstick from his mouth.
"Make love to me, Trey," she said softly. "I want you. Come to my place. No one will ever have to know."
He looked torn and indecisive; it was a look I was not familiar with in Trey. He put his hand on the back of his neck rubbing it as if contemplating his next move; he turned away from her taking several steps back.
That is when he saw me at the window. Our eyes locked momentarily; I saw the look of panic that crossed his face; God only knows what he saw in my eyes.
I was suddenly able to move again. My legs were making up for lost time as I turned from the window and raced across the yard. I got to the pasture and continued running toward the horse barn. The wind was at my back as if to help me to get the hell away from what I had just witnessed. Everything was blurry and I realized that my eyes had filled up with tears. I needed to get away from the pain. That was all I could think about at the moment.
I threw open the door to the horse barn screaming for Marcus. He finally came out of the tack room with a look of alarm on his handsome face.
"What is it, Tylar? What the hell is wrong?"
"Take me away from here Marcus, please?" I sobbed. I buried my face into his chest. "Please take me to Gina's now."
"Tell me what happened," he insisted.
"There isn't time," I shrieked, "I need out of here now please!"
He grabbed his jacket from the hook and pulled the keys from the pocket of his jeans. We headed out behind the barn where his truck was parked. He opened the door for me as I climbed in.
As we pulled down the long graveled drive to the road I saw Amber's BMW pulling out. Trey was outside crossing the pasture that I had just raced across.
"There's Trey," Marcus said, looking over at me. "Do you want me to drop you here?"
"Keep driving," I stated firmly.
"Tylar," he said, "I don't want to face his wrath. You know how he is about me being too friendly with you."
"Marcus, I just caught Trey with another woman. Trust me; you have no reason to worry. Please take me to Gina's. I'm just as much your employer as Trey."
"You got it," he said as his truck blew past Trey. Neither of us glanced over.
Marcus walked into the apartment building with me to make sure that Gina was home. I had let my Blackberry die in my purse. I didn't use it nearly as often as I had before we had moved to the country. My father generally called on the landline as did Gina since our cell reception wasn't the best out in the country where our house was located.
The doorman buzzed Gina and Tristan's apartment. She was home and I went up. I thanked Marcus and told him not to worry about any repercussions from Trey. I told him to tell Trey I threatened him with his job.
"Yeah right," he laughed, "He knows we're too tight for that. You calm down okay, Ty?"
"I will be okay Marcus. Thanks for being a friend."
I took the elevator up to our old apartment; it was bittersweet that that apartment Trey and I had once inhabited together had much better memories than our large, cold house in the country.
Gina had the door open and was holding Reese in her arms when I came in. She immediately knew that something was seriously wrong.
"What is it, Ty? You look like shit."
"Thanks Gina; I knew I could depend on you."
"What the fuck girlfriend! I haven't even seen you in more than a month? Not since you buried Marley."
"Stop!" I shouted. "Don't go there!"
I had startled Reese. He started crying leaning against Gina rooting for her breast.
"It's okay, baby," she crooned to him, unbuttoning her shirt so that he could gain access. He latched on immediately, sucking loudly as he nursed.
"Can I use your phone please?"
"You came all the way into Atlanta to use my phone?"
"My Blackberry died, Gina, can I please use yours?"
"Go right ahead; are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?"
"I will. I need to make this call first."
Gina walked into the living room having handed me her Blackberry. I phoned my dad's cell number. I breathed a sigh of relief when he answered.
"Dad, its Tylar. I'm calling from Gina's phone."
The tears started flowing along with my hysteria. I didn't know where to begin with him. We had no history together but for now I needed a dad. I needed him.
"Tylar, are you alright?"
"No Daddy," I sobbed, "I'm not alright. I need to come home."
Gina listened to everything I shared with my father on that phone call. I could see her tense up when she heard what I had observed Trey doing with Amber. She was nursing Reese trying to stay calm but I knew that she was ready to go off.
After I got off the phone with my father Gina got up and took Reese to the nursery. The same nursery that had been Preston's when we lived here. How happy we had been here I thought. She returned in a few minutes after putting him down for a nap.
"Ty," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "Will you please sit down and talk to me?"
I went over to the couch where she had gestured me to be seated. I sat down next to her. She turned and looked at me as if she hadn't seen me in years instead of weeks. She took my hands into hers and swallowed nervously.
"I am so sorry for what you have gone through these past several weeks," she said to me softly. "I know that maybe I have been too tied up with Tristan and Reese to be there for you. I'm sorry," she said, starting to cry.
"Gina - there is no need for you to apologize or to be upset," I told her. "This is my problem. I'm handling it."
"No Ty - I don't think that you are. Look at you," she choked, tears running down her cheeks.
"Well excuse me," I said annoyed, "But I've spent the better part of the day with horses and working in the barn, not to mention sprinting across the pasture after I discovered my husband kissing his junior partner in my house. I'm fucking sorry, Gina that I didn't take the time to fix my hair and reapply my make-up before making my visit here."
"God damn it, Tylar! That is not what I'm talking about and you fucking know it! You are skin and bones. My God! Your eyes take up half of your face with the dark circles going on underneath them. You lost a child, girlfriend. That has to hurt."
"How could I have lost a child that I never really had, Gina? It was more like a miscarriage. It happens."
"You know better than that, Tylar. It was not a miscarriage and you damn well know it. That baby died in your womb. It wasn't your fault, but you need to face the facts here. Something terrible and entirely without reason happened to your baby. Tell me that you didn't love Preston before she was born? Before she could have even survived if she had been born early?"
"Stop it Gina; stop it right now. I will not listen to this. It happened. It's over and done with and right now I don't want to think about it. If you are truly my friend you will get off of the subject and do it now. Do you understand?"
She looked at me and her expression was a mix of fear and pity. I was not comfortable with either.
"Have it your way, Ty. Eventually you will have to deal with it and the longer it takes the worse it is going to be."
"Can I use your charger for my Blackberry?" I asked changing the subject. "My dad is going to be phoning me back."
"Sure," she said getting up off of the couch to get her charger.
I plugged it into the wall and immediately I got some beeps that I had text messages. I looked at the screen. They were from Trey.
"We need to talk. Where are you?"
That was followed by another one six minutes later.
"Tylar I love you - please talk to me."
Finally the last one had been sent about three minutes ago.
"Please talk to me baby. I want to explain."
Yeah right. What was there to explain? Trey had gone through a tough six-and-a-half months with me. Between the nausea and my tiredness and lack of sexual interest he had suffered the effects. I now knew how he rolled. That was that.
"When will Tristan be home?" I suddenly thought to ask.
"He is closing tonight, so it will be late. Why?"
"You can't tell him that I was here. He will tell Trey."
"Ty, don’t you think that Trey probably knows where you've gone? I'm surprised he hasn't called or shown up here by now."
As if on cue her Blackberry chimed.
"Holy shit. Speak of the devil."
"Gina," I hissed, "You can't let him know that I am here. Even if you say that I'm not here he will hear the hostility in your voice. Please - do this for me?"
She rolled her eyes as she answered his call.
"Hey Trey," she greeted congenially, "What's up?"
"What?"
"Whoa - wait a minute; slow down Trey I'm not making heads or tails of what you're saying."
(Gina was good. That was why she was my BFF.)
"No Trey, I haven't seen her. I hate to admit this but I actually haven't seen her since Marley's graveside service. What the hell is going on?"
I watched as Gina let him bury himself.
"What are you saying? Why did she leave upset?"
“What kind of a misunderstanding?”
She paused and looked over at me rolling her eyes.
“No, that’s okay – if you don’t feel like going into the details now I understand. If she calls or comes by I will let her know that you’re desperate to speak with her.”
Gina ended the call and turned to me.
“Trey is desperate to speak with you,” she said flatly. “There. I did what I said I would do. Would you like a glass of wine?”
Thanks Gina,” I said relaxing back against the cushions on the sofa. “That sounds great.”
I drank three glasses of wine enjoying the relaxing, numbing feeling that was sinking in. I stretched out on the sofa and drifted off to sleep while Gina went to make dinner for us. I wasn’t really hungry but she insisted I needed to eat and get some meat back on my bones.
Gina roused me from my nap a little while later. My dad was on the phone. He had made all of my flight arrangements for tomorrow afternoon. He said he would be at the airport to pick me up. He asked me to try and calm down.
(Fat chance!)
I assured him that I would.
Gina had made pasta salad so we sat down and ate in silence. I poured myself another glass of wine as I wolfed down the food. It was amazingly good. Gina had developed some domesticity along the way it appeared.
“Ty – you need to let Trey know where you are and where you’re going. It’s the right thing to do. Plus, what are you going to do about Preston? It’s one thing to desert him; but you don’t want it to look like you deserted your daughter you know, well just in case –"
“In case what, Gina?”
“Well to be honest – in case you decide to divorce him. That’s all I’m saying. I mean you don’t want him using Preston as a weapon against you, right?”
“I can’t think about any of that right now, Gina. My head is spinning. I will call him though. You’re right about that. I’ll let him know that I just got here and am spending the night. It is okay if I stay here tonight?”
“Absolutely, Ty. You don’t even need to ask that question.”
“I don’t have my clothes or anything though.”
“Do you want me to ask Trey to bring some to you?”
“No! I can’t look at him right now. Will you go and get some from the house tomorrow? I can watch Reese for you.”
“You got it,” she said smiling. “Everything is going to be okay, Ty.”
I wasn’t sure of that at all. I had felt disconnected from Trey for the last couple of months. I had blamed that on my pregnancy and then the subsequent loss of the baby. Maybe it was more than that.
He had obviously been fascinated with the new junior partner in the firm. He had explained it away as taking her under his wing because she was just a few years younger than him. The bottom line was that he had spent more and more time at the office and worked less and less at home.
I wondered what might have happened had Trey not spied me at the window this afternoon. Perhaps Amber would have continued her seductive quest with my husband. Perhaps he would have succumbed to her charms. He certainly hadn’t been getting his needs met at home the past couple of months. He had reminded me of that fairly often. We hadn’t made love since I had lost the baby. He hadn’t even made overtures when my six weeks had been up two weeks ago.
I finished my wine still lost in thought. Gina had left the kitchen to take care of Reese who had awakened from his nap. It brought pain to see a baby right now. I hadn’t even objected when Susan had offered to take Preston for a couple of weeks. Trey had looked at me curiously. He was surprised when I didn’t hesitate in accepting her offer.
My Blackberry was done charging. I picked it up hitting Trey’s name. He picked up immediately.
“Tylar,” he breathed, “Where are you?”
“I stopped by Gina’s. She told me you had called here looking for me.”
"Baby, I've been going crazy trying to get in touch with you. I need to explain Tylar; I need to let you know what happened."
"Trey," I interrupted, "I was there, remember? I know exactly what happened. There is no plausible explanation for you to give me about what happened. It's been a long time coming I think."
"What are you talking about Tylar? How can you possibly say that to me?"
"Because it's the truth Trey. Because it is my style to speak the truth."
"And what exactly is the truth?"
"Trey you hit it off with Amber. In some ways, she is a female version of you. She is beautiful, smart, talented, and has a passion for the law - the same as you do. We have little in common, Trey; I hate to point this out but it's obvious our connection has been a sexual one. That doesn't necessarily make for a successful long-term relationship."
"How in the hell can you say that to me?"
He was livid. I wasn't sure why. It all made perfect sense to me. Our relationship was built on a house of cards. I thought back to its inception: a near death experience for me; a handsome rescuer who found me 'intriguing' at the moment. A lot had transpired for both of us since then. Perhaps he no longer found me a mystery to be solved. Perhaps I had been a pleasurable diversion from his very orderly, professional, career-oriented life.
"Amber is the type of woman you are supposed to end up with Trey. Not someone like me. This has all been a diversion from reality - for both of us. I've made arrangements to spend some time with my father. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"No Tylar. You are not running from this. We are going to work this out dammit!"
"I'm sorry, Trey. You're not getting your way this time. I will be in touch once Preston returns from your parents' house. We need to work something out with respect to her. I need this time for me. I need to heal."
I pressed the 'end' button before he had a chance to respond. This was non-negotiable. I fell asleep on the sofa exhausted. I heard Tristan come in late; Gina was waiting for him in the kitchen. I could tell that she was filling him in on what had happened.
I heard him raise his voice; I think I heard him refer to Trey as a spoiled, self-righteous son-of-a-bitch. Gina instructed him to stay out of it. If I knew Tristan he would be giving Trey his two cents' worth very shortly.
Tristan drove me to the airport the following afternoon. Gina was busy with Reese so he suggested it. Gina had gone back to our house and packed my suitcase along with Preston’s clothes while Trey was at work. She had brought my phone charger and I-Pad with her.
She had told me that Jean was beside herself trying to figure out why I hadn’t been home all night. She commented that she had heard Trey up most of the night pacing his floor and on his phone.
Gina said that she didn’t feel it was her place to put our personal stuff out there to Jean; she explained that I needed to spend some time with my father.
“Well certainly,” Jean had responded. “The poor thing has been through quite a bit. It has been a strain on them both. I can see that."
My thoughts were interrupted when Tristan finally broke the silence in the car.
"Tylar - Once again I find the need to apologize to you for my brother's behavior."
I looked over at his handsome face; a slightly older version of Trey's face yet there was something different. Tristan's face held a look of compassion that I hadn't seen before in Trey's face; at least not that I could recall.
"Tristan," I replied softly, "It is not your place to apologize for Trey. Besides I am partially to blame for this."
"How do you figure?"
"Well my pregnancy was pretty rough on Trey," I explained. "I wasn't able to 'accommodate' him like before."
I could feel myself blush profusely; I could feel the penetrating look that Tristan was giving me. He pulled his car over to the side of the road and shut off the ignition. I reluctantly looked over at him. His emerald green eyes were watching me trying to comprehend my response.
"Tylar for Chrissake - are you justifying Trey's behavior in some way? Your pregnancy was rough on you sweetheart. You were tired and ill; I was around too you know? If that son-of-a bitch couldn't go without it for a few months without striking up some flirtatious fantasy with a female colleague to assuage his inflated ego then he should have come to big brother for advice!"
Tristan was on a roll. It was plain to see that he was furious with Trey.
"What advice would you have given him, Tristan?"
"I would have told him to spend some time with 'Rosy Palm' and her five ugly sisters in the privacy of his shower!"
I started to giggle when he said that. Only Tristan could phrase it like that. I could picture him telling Trey that, too.
I looked back over at him and he was smiling now.
"I appreciate your support on this Tristan, but I don't want it interfering with your relationship with Trey, okay?"
"Too late for that," he said, starting the car back up and pulling out into traffic.
"Besides it's not as if Trey cheated sexually on me; it was the emotional part - the kiss - that crushed me. It sent a signal about our lack of intimacy. It has made me question as to whether we are really suited for one another."
"Sweetie, for right now please try to not 'over-think' any of this okay? You need this time away from him to reflect and heal. Don't come to hasty conclusions."
"Okay Tristan. You're right. Thanks for being you."