CHAPTER 10
I took extra time with my appearance the following morning. I selected a dark blue sweater and a pair of tan corduroy pants. I wore a pair of my new boots that had heels making me taller. My hair was now just long enough to put up in a short ponytail so I did so.
I got Preston dressed in a dark plaid jumper with a white turtleneck under it. I decided against tights due to her 'big girl' panties as we had been calling them. I put knee high socks on her instead with a pair of dark brown loafers. She looked like a tiny parochial school girl. I pulled her dark locks up into a ponytail and tied a bow around it.
"You look so pretty for Daddy," I said to her.
"Daddy?"
"Yes Preston. Daddy is coming to visit you."
We had just finished up when my father knocked on the door letting us know that Trey had arrived. My legs suddenly felt like they were made of rubber. I felt dizzy and sweaty.
"Dad - could you please take Preston down? I need a minute or two."
"Certainly darling, are you okay?"
"I think it's just nerves all of a sudden," I replied sitting on my bed.
"Take your time," he replied picking up Preston. "Everything will be okay sweetheart."
He closed my bedroom door softly behind him. I sat on the bed for what seemed like an eternity trying to shake the jittery feeling that I had. It was a feeling of impending doom. I had not considered the fact that Trey might very well have come to a decision about us. The fact that he hadn't called or texted me for a week now spoke volumes. He wanted a divorce. It was plain to me now. How stupid could I have been to think that he would forgive me for what I had done last week?
My palms were sweaty and I felt shaky. I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection. I had taken pains with my make-up, hair and attire. But the face that looked back at me in the mirror was still the face of a slut.
Someone knocked on my bedroom door. I knew it was my father checking up on me. I couldn't face Trey and he was going to encourage me to go down there. I had no right to intrude on Trey's time with Preston. That was why he was here. Not for me but for Preston.
The knocking continued. I needed to be alone now. There was nothing my father could say that would ease my torment. The realization of what I had done was plainly out of my sense of denial where it had been conveniently tucked away; it was now making its debut in my conscious reality where it belonged. I sickened myself.
"I'm okay Dad," I yelled from the bathroom still looking at the slut in the mirror.
"It's Trey," the voice called out. "May I come in?"
Oh my God. He's here to deliver the news to me now. Why let it hang over us all weekend like a big, black cloud? Better to get it out there now so the specifics can be addressed. Things like custody, visitation - perhaps he wanted custody. Perhaps Trey didn't want a slut raising his daughter.
I swallowed nervously. It was time to pay the piper.
"Come in," I said my voice loud but quivering.
I turned and left the bathroom as Trey came through the door, closing it softly behind him. He stood there studying me for a moment. I couldn't read him because he was expressionless. He looked gorgeous I thought to myself as I drank in his presence; and to think that he used to be mine. I felt the tears well up; one tear escaped and then another followed running down each cheek.
I clasped my hands up to my face as if in prayer. Trey looked at me quizzically not making a move to do anything.
"What is it?" he finally asked almost in a whisper. "What are you going to tell me Tylar? Just say it, please?"
I realized then that Trey was just as frightened as I was. Did he think that I was going to tell him that I wanted the marriage over? Did he think that I was going to tell him I couldn't forgive what he had done? Then I remembered what Gina had told me. We each needed to deal with forgiving each other's actions. She said that we were even in the blame game.
"Oh Trey," I said closing the distance between us. I was in his arms in two seconds and he had them wrapped around me tightly.
"I am so sorry Trey. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Oh God Tylar," he rasped, his voice thick with emotion, "I thought you were going to tell me it was over between us. Of course you are forgiven. There would be no need for you to even ask for forgiveness had I not done what I did."
"Trey I love you with all of my heart. I would forgive you anything," I said sobbing.
He held me tightly in his strong arms as I sobbed and buried my face into his chest. He rocked me back and forth talking to me in his soothing way. He moved me over to the bed and pulled me down to sit next to him. He captured my face with his hands and lowered his mouth to mine kissing me warmly and passionately."
"I love you so much," he whispered against my lips. "Please come back to me Tylar. I need you."
"I need you too, Trey. I want to come home."
He held me against him for several minutes, stroking my ponytail.
"I am so glad your hair is back to normal," he said.
I looked up at him and saw that he had been crying too. His sapphire eyes were bright with his love and his sadness.
"I'm trying to get back to normal with everything," I said.
I shared with him that I had visited my father's physician and had started back on antidepressants. I also told him about the counseling.
"What do you say that you and I go to counseling back home?" he asked.
"Oh Trey I think that would be wonderful," I replied. "There was a reason that we grew apart. I want to find out what it was so that it never happens again."
"Me too, baby," he replied, softly kissing my face and hair.
Trey and I started kissing again. I was curled up on his lap and I felt so happy and in love. I didn't want to stop. His hands were all over my body claiming me as his.
A knock at the door interrupted us. I heard my father's voice in the hall.
"Preston is saying 'doody," he said loudly.
"What?" Trey asked, looking mystified.
I immediately jumped up and opened the door.
My father handed her over to me and left. I think he was fairly certain that Trey and I were in the process of making up.
"Daddy, doodee," Preston said over and over again.
"Is she calling me 'Daddy Doody' now?" Trey asked.
"No silly," I laughed carrying her into my bathroom. I lowered her panties grateful that my father had gotten her up here in time.
She took a seat on her potty chair totally comfortable with having an audience. She grunted a couple of times and then stood up to look.
"See Daddy," she squealed proudly as she pointed to her potty chair bowl, "Doodee."
Trey praised her repeatedly. She was proud of herself and was grinning at both of us. Unfortunately, she didn't think to sit back down on her potty again before the urine started running down her legs.
"Uh oh," she said letting it all out.
"I see that she's not all of the way there yet," Trey remarked.
"Nope. She does much better with 'Doodee' than with 'Pee-pee' it seems."
"Well Daddy is still very proud of his Preston," he said to her as he helped me remove her soaked knee socks and now wet panties.
"Trey could you clean her up and put fresh panties on her while I clean up in here?"
"Sure baby," he said leaning in and kissing me again warmly.
Once we had Preston taken care of we went downstairs for lunch. Trey's luggage was in the entry hall.
"Trey I can take your luggage up," my father offered with a hint of amusement in his eyes. "The same suite you had last time?"
Trey shifted uncomfortably next to me.
"My suite Dad," I said flashing him a grin, "And thanks."
I looked over at Trey who was clearly happy that the issue had been handled.
Trey, Preston and I spent the afternoon together. Trey took my father's place as the 'horsey' in the fort building and subsequent demolishing exercise with Preston's blocks. He read to her and got her settled in for her nap.
"Do you want to take a walk?" he asked me once she was down asleep.
"Sure, let me grab a jacket."
We walked along the riding trails hand in hand for more than an hour. Trey filled me in on the argument that had occurred between himself and Tristan. I didn't share with him that Gina had already filled me in. He said that he had phoned Tristan at the airport and apologized for being such a whiney ass. I was glad that they were back on good terms.
Nigel and Tess's surrogate mother was due anytime. Her original due date was November 2nd, but the doctor had said she could go anytime. Trey reminded me that Tristan's birthday was the 30th which was a week from tomorrow. I couldn't believe how fast that year had gone by.
"Will you be home by then?" he asked me tentatively.
"I want to be Trey. Did my father tell you that the prosecution testimony begins on Monday in Matthew's case?"
"Yes he mentioned that when he called yesterday. That is why I am staying through Monday. Your father is on the bench Monday and he thought perhaps I should be with you in court since he couldn't."
"I hope you didn't have to shuffle one of your cases around to do that Trey."
"Sweetie, you know I will be with you no matter what. I can stay through next week if you want."
I stopped and turned to him looking up into his amazing blue eyes.
"You really will, Trey? I need to see what evidence they present relative to my mother."
"Of course I will, baby. I'll work from here. There aren't any court appearances scheduled next week anyway."
I was relieved that Trey would be with me during this portion of Matthew's trial. The last time I saw him in court he had totally creeped me out.
"So what else did my dad say to you on the phone yesterday?" I asked as we started walking again.
"He was pissed, I could tell. He told me he didn't give a rat's behind about my drama or your drama; he said when it came to Preston he did give a rat's behind."
I could picture my dad using the word 'behind' instead of 'ass.' He was sort of refined that way; I liked how he rolled.
"What did he say to you this morning that brought you upstairs?"
"Oh - that. I had barely spent five minutes with Preston before he told me that I needed to go up to your room. He said that you were waiting to tell me something. Of course, I figured that you were going to tell me you wanted a divorce. Your dad has a pretty stoic look about him. He is definitely hard to read at times."
I smiled thinking about how my dad had worked us both while not officially interfering. So that's what dads do I thought to myself. How wonderful.
"Yes," I answered Trey, "Sometimes he is very hard to read; other times not so much though."