She gave me a look that let me know the conversation was over and then turned on her heel and disappeared back inside the doorway.
I stood there in silence for a long moment trying to situate how I felt about what had just happened. Feeling helpless to help someone wasn’t something I was used to and I couldn’t say that I cared for it very much. Ayden grabbed my elbow and gave me a little tug to get me moving. She bent her head and rested her cheek on my shoulder.
“That kind of love kills.” Her voice was quiet and I could hear all kinds of memories and fear twisted through it.
“It’s not love.”
Ayden murmured her agreement, and we both fell silent as we got into the car and headed back toward downtown.
“So what are you going to do about her? She can’t just stay in that place while people are looking for her junkie boyfriend and using her as a bargaining chip.” It was all too familiar to my sister and I wished I had refused to let her come with me. She didn’t need any kind of reminder about the way things had been for us back in the day.
“I’m going to talk to Brite and my guess is he’ll go in there and bodily move her out of that crack den. I know he’s frustrated with the choices Avett has been making over the last few years, but there is no way he’s going to sit by and let her purposely put herself in danger over some loser with a drug problem.”
Ayden let her head flop back on the seat and shifted so she could put her boots up on the dash. If the car had been in pristine condition, I would’ve had a fit, but considering it was still a work in progress, I figured I could let it slide.
“Brite might not get a choice in the matter.” I knew she was talking about me and all the trouble that I used to actively bring right to our doorstep. She turned to look at me and I felt my heart along with several pieces of the soul that I thought had long been lost start to fuse back together when she told me softly, “You’re a good man, Asa. You might not see it because you’re so used to looking at the man you were before, but you are right here in front of me and I can see the good shining out of you. The fact I can see it means you should be able to as well.”
I couldn’t say anything to that. There were no words, and even if I’d had them I was too afraid that if I tried to use them it would break this moment, this second that I had been waiting for ever since I had woken up from that coma. I was a good man in Ayden’s eyes, and with her saying that I finally felt forgiveness for all the things I had put her through. I could literally feel some of those bricks made of guilt that barricaded me from everything happening around me start to crumble away.
I was taking her back to Rule and Shaw’s, where she and Jet were staying, and she was going on and on about how cute the new baby was. I asked her if she thought a little one was in the future for her and Jet, which made her laugh. She told me Jet was all about having kids, but considering our upbringing and our less than stellar example of parenting our mom had left us with, she was less eager to bring a new life into the world. She told me that they had agreed to table the discussion until she was finished with school, but I knew my sister and had seen her with Jet. They would be wonderful parents and I bet he’d convince her to have his baby long before she had a degree in her hand.
I was at a stoplight when my phone rang and Royal’s pretty face popped up on the screen. It didn’t bode well for me being able to keep any kind of safety zone between us when I felt my pulse kick and my heart trip just at the sight of her name on my cell.
I swiped a finger across the screen and put the phone up to my ear. “What’s up, Red?” Without very much effort I could still taste her and scotch all hot and earthy on the tip of my tongue, and it made me shift in the driver’s seat while my sister looked at me questioningly out of the corner of her eye.
“What time do you have to work tonight?” It really did something to my insides that she always sounded so happy to talk to me. The fact that I mattered to her was not lost on me. I recognized all of the simple ways she liked to show me.
“I’m supposed to go in around five,” I told her, and she sighed and got quiet on the other end of the line. “Royal, if you need me for something, just ask.”
I heard Ayden snicker next to me and I turned to glare at her.
“My mom asked me to come over to her place for dinner and I know we aren’t really the meet-the-parents kind of couple or anything, but I was really hoping you could come with me. I love her, but she can be exhausting, and she’s been in an unpleasant funk lately. I think she would really enjoy meeting you, not to mention you’re pretty fun to stare at, even when you have clothes on.”
I chuckled. I had met plenty of parents back in the day, but I was usually putting on a show or so deep in a con that it was never actually me that they were getting to know. It was sort of freeing and kind of thrilling to have Royal ask me to spend time with her mother, considering she knew every single one of my faults and failings. Royal had made no secret of the fact she and her mother were extremely tight, so the thought that I actually needed a parent to legitimately like me if I wanted to keep this girl in my life floated around in my head and made my nerves sing.
“I’ll call the new guy and see if he can hang out for a little bit longer until I get there. It shouldn’t be a problem … and you know I love it when you owe me one, Red.”
She laughed and the warm sound sent bolts of real, honest-to-God happiness shooting throughout my body. She heated me up faster than the best scotch I had ever tasted.
“Paying up is one of my favorite things to do, Asa. I’ll come pick you up at your place when I get off of work, if that’s okay.”
I groaned and told her, “You and those handcuffs. One of these days I’m gonna make good on my threat to use them.”