The petulant look on his face as I walked out to let Brandon in made me question if Micah had changed much after all. There was silence from the sitting room as I waited on Brandon coming up the elevator. It was a different feeling entirely anticipating his arrival. With Micah, I felt sick. With Brandon, I wanted to throw my arms around him as soon as I saw him.
When he appeared, so tall, all bearded, purplish circles under his eyes that told me he was jet-lagged, I rushed him.
And he caught me.
He lifted me up in a bear hug and as he whispered my name, the sob burst out of me before I could stop it.
Because it felt like coming home.
* * *
IT WAS HARD TO TAKE my eyes off Brandon. He was like a bright light that captured my attention and wouldn’t let go. I realized as all three of us sat in my apartment and talked that he held me captivated because I had no bad memories attached to our relationship.
When we were on tour and I was tired and lonely, he’d snuggle up with me to watch a movie on the tour bus, or he would take me out for dinner so we could unwind and pretend we were ordinary people grabbing a bite to eat. He was the one who kept Micah at bay when I’d had enough.
He was the big brother who protected me.
He was the one thing that tethered me to sanity during the craziness that was our lives.
Of course, I loved Austin too, but he was more like the little brother who made me laugh and annoyed the hell out of me.
It was different.
“Heather’s pregnant.” My eyes widened as Brandon shared this news. “You’re going to be an aunt.”
That he would offer me that made tears well in my eyes. “An aunt! That is so cool. Congratulations. Tell Heather congrats too.”
“I will.” He grinned. “She’s been worried about you.”
“We all have,” Micah said sullenly. He was standing at the French doors looking out over the Clyde and had been the entire time Brandon caught me up with his life. “It’s been almost two years of worrying. Fuck. Two years. Who can believe that?”
Sobered by the raw pain in his voice, I offered, “If I’d been in a better frame of mind, it never would’ve gotten to that point. It makes me feel sick that I left it this long.”
“You’ve apologized enough,” Brandon said, scowling at Micah’s back. “You’re here and you’re healthy and that’s all that matters.”
“Oh?” Micah whirled around. “Is it? A couple of apologies and we’re okay?”
Brandon narrowed his gaze. “Three days ago, you would’ve given anything to hear from Skylar and know she was okay. Remember that.”
“Brandon, it’s fine,” I soothed. “There’s no way in hell I expect any of you to forgive me so quickly.”
“Well, I have.”
I loved him. “That’s because you’re an angel. The rest of us are just tellurian.”
He grinned at my joke.
Micah huffed, “I’m starved,” and strode into the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge, perused it, and cursed under his breath. “Still a health nut, I see.” He slammed the door closed and turned to me. “Got any real food?”
I shrugged. “We could order takeout.”
So that’s what we did. While we waited, we talked about Austin and Selina, about Gayle, about friends in the music business. We did not touch on Macy and the band, as if we were all afraid to mention it.
And then my cell rang. It was Killian. “I need to take this,” I told the guys before disappearing into my bedroom.
“Hey,” I answered once I’d closed the door.
“Hi, I’m just checking in.”
Despite my warm, mushy feelings for Brandon, I hadn’t realized how tense I was until I heard Killian’s voice. It was almost as if I could feel the solid heat of him at my back. Still, I wasn’t looking forward to telling him about Micah. “We ordered some food. We’re easing into it. Catching up.”
“Was he glad to see you?”
“Very. It’s wonderful to see him again. I’ve missed him.”
“I know. I’m happy for you.”
The soft, loving way he said that made it difficult to tell him the next part. “Micah is here too. I didn’t know he was coming.”
Killian was quiet on the other end.
“Killian?”
“I’m here.”
“Well?”
“You’d have to face him sooner or later. At least it’s happening in the privacy of the flat with Brandon there.”
Then why did he sound so pissed?
“So, you’re okay? We’re okay?”
“Fine. I have a meeting. We’ll talk later.”
And he hung up, taking all my good feelings with him.
The worst of it was that I couldn’t even be mad at him. I’d acted like a jealous idiot over some one-night stand while he had valid reasons for being jealous of Micah.
“Shit,” I murmured under my breath.
I had to brace myself to go back out to the boys.
“Food arrived,” Brandon said, taking cartons out of a carrier bag.
“I didn’t even hear the buzzer.”
“They didn’t buzz up. They just appeared at the door,” Micah said, studying me. “We paid.”
“Oh, someone must have let them in while they were going out. Thanks.” I walked into the kitchen, my stomach rumbling to life at the smell of the Thai food.
“Who was on the phone?” Micah asked as I helped Brandon put out plates and cutlery.
I didn’t respond at first, waiting until we were standing around the island, digging into the food. Finally, I said, “It was Killian.”
“The guy who signed you to the record deal here?” Brandon asked.
“Yeah.”
“He a good guy?”
“How can he be?” Micah stabbed a piece of pork like he was imagining it was something or someone else. “Gayle said he signed you to his label after you’d gotten attacked by street thugs who stole your guitar. He used how messed up you were against you.”
I squirmed, supremely uncomfortable with his version of events. “That’s not true. It’s complicated.”
“There’s nothing complicated about it. You told us you were leaving the band because this life, the fame, made you miserable. But you sign a record deal with this guy and we’re supposed to believe you did that of your own volition?”
Angry, I glared at him. “You weren’t here, Micah. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Hey!” Brandon waved a fork at us. “Cut it out. We’re not going to do this. Eat your food and enjoy the fact that we’re all alive and bar one of us who is probably getting bit by a snake as we speak, we’re all together. Let’s enjoy that.”
Micah and I shared a look, and then nodded to Brandon. However, a wealth of anger simmered beneath the surface.
SITTING WITH MY BACK AGAINST the chair, I stared across the room at Micah in the dim light. It was midnight. Brandon had checked their luggage at the hotel before coming after Micah, so their rooms were waiting for them. But Brandon had barely been able to keep his eyes open with the jet lag so I’d helped him into my bedroom where he’d collapsed on the bed, out within seconds.
The apartment was dark except for lights under the kitchen cabinets and baseboards. Still, I could feel Micah looking at me from his sprawled position on the couch. We hadn’t said a word to each other in what felt like forever.
“It’s a miracle you’re still awake,” I whispered.
“I slept on the plane,” he whispered back. “Brandon was too anxious about seeing you to sleep.”
The thought made me smile.
“You don’t deserve him, you know.”
Hurt pierced me. “What?”
“Brandon. You don’t deserve him. Neither do I. He’ll love us until the end of time, no matter what shit we pull. He deserves better friends than us.”
“I’m going to make it up to him. I’ll never treat him like that again,” I vowed.
He scoffed. “You don’t know that. Let’s face it, Sky—you and I are two of the most selfish, self-absorbed bastards on the planet. That’s why we love each other. No one else would put up with us.”
Anger burned in my gut. “You don’t know me anymore.”
“I know you left. I know you run. That’s who you are.”
“I’m not running now.”
He shrugged. “So you say. Look, I’m not judging you. I’m not perfect either. I can admit that. And I’m not looking for perfect from you. I don’t expect that. I never have.”
“You’re still angry with me.”
“Of course I am. I made love to you and you skipped town the next day. For almost two years.”