She nodded, pinching her lips together in obvious annoyance.
“I was the lead singer of a commercially successful band. I’m not an inexperienced young artist who loves the music but doesn’t want the fame—something you clearly find irritatingly naive. I’ve experienced fame so I can say with absolute certainty that I love the music and I hate the fame. There are no ifs, maybes, or buts. So the condescending attitude? Get rid of it. I was a kid when our band became famous and I listened to all these people telling me I needed to share my personal life with the fans to keep them coming back for more. So, I did that, and it made me miserable giving them so much access. Do you know what happens when you give the public that kind of access? They begin to believe they have a right to you. A right to your decisions, your choices, and your opinions. No one has a right to those things. No one. My deal with Killian,” I flicked a look at him but his expression gave nothing away, “was that I put out a record but I stay out of the limelight unless it’s directly promoting a single or the album. We’re not here to negotiate. We’re here to work out how to make sure Killian holds up his end of the bargain.”
Lois shifted uncomfortably while May looked away, her lips twitching like she wanted to laugh. The two publicists seemed mildly affronted for their boss.
And Killian. Well, he met my gaze head-on and I saw the warmth of his respect in it.
“Skylar is correct. And we’ve already spoken about it. Lois has been briefed. Which means I assume that you have a plan other than trying to talk my artist out of something she has absolutely no plans of being talked out of.”
Lois swallowed and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Of course, Mr. O’Dea. I didn’t mean to insult Miss Finch. I only wanted her to be aware of the difficulties in growing a career with that kind of constraint.”
“And so you did. What’s the plan?”
“Well . . . it has been a while since the tabloids have speculated on Miss Finch’s disappearance from the public eye. That’s partly due to the aforementioned short attention span of the public, but also because without Miss Finch, the usual tabloid frenzy set off by her relationship with band member Micah Murphy fizzled out. After Micah’s stint in rehab a year ago, the partying, the groupies, has all ended. His Instagram account is pretty placid. He’s not giving the tabloid anything to chew on. The band has continued on in relative peace from the tabloids, but they’ve also suffered a loss in sales.”
None of that, thankfully, was news to me.
After telling Killian I wanted to get back online and see what had become of my band in my absence, Autumn came over to the apartment with her laptop. Killian wanted to be the one to sit with me while I opened that door to the rest of the world, but I wanted to react honestly to what I discovered. I didn’t want to worry about how Killian was feeling as I looked into the guys, i.e., Micah.
Autumn and I sat at the island together as I googled Tellurian.
The top headlines that came up were old ones.
Ones that made me feel sick.
PARENTS OF POP-ROCK PRINCESS FOUND MURDERED
STAR’S FAMILY SHOT DEAD IN MULTIMILLION DOLLAR HOME
NO LEADS IN TELLURIAN MURDER CASE
I’d felt Autumn’s hand on my shoulder as I stared at the bold headlines I’d avoided for so long.
“Are you all right?”
The pain was an old friend now. “I’m okay.”
“Skylar, you don’t have to do this.”
“It’s time.” I typed in my name to the search engine.
The first headline made me smirk.
GONE GIRL
WHERE DID THE TRAGIC PRINCESS OF ROCK GO?
“Cute,” I’d said dryly.
For the first six months, there were sporadic articles about my disappearance. After typing in Micah’s name, I’d discovered his trip to rehab. According to the newspapers he’d checked himself in three months after I took off. He’d apparently been sober ever since. The only article about him in the last three months was regarding a college scholarship fund he’d set up in Montana for kids in foster care.
That almost made me cry with pride.
I was so happy he was doing well in his personal life. I didn’t know if there was a new girl and it felt strange to now hope that there was. I was happy with someone new and I wanted him to be too.
As for the band . . . they weren’t doing so well.
DID TELLURIAN’S MOJO FLEE WITH FINCH?
MACY PROVES SHE AIN’T NO TELLURIAN
TELLURIAN’S FIFTH ALBUM FAILS TO CHART THE TOP TWENTY
It made my heart hurt to see the guys fail. To know it was my fault.
And then I saw a headline from eight months prior:
BAND PLEADS FOR THE SAFE RETURN OF SKYLAR FINCH
My breath caught and I clicked on the article. I was somewhat relieved to discover that it was a case of a headline twisting the truth to get clicks. It led me to a YouTube video of an interview with MTV the band had done eight months ago.
I stared at Macy Olson sitting in the middle of my boys, where I used to sit. Whether it was her idea or not, she still wore her hair like I used to—dyed a multitude of colors. She’d curled hers though, whereas I always wore mine poker straight.
She was traditionally much prettier than I was, with a button nose, big blue eyes, round cheekbones, and full lips. She did backing vocals on a couple of tracks for us. That’s how they’d found her. She was nice. I was glad they’d chosen someone nice.
“So,” the MTV presenter finished up a line of questioning about the direction of the new album, “of course we have to address the elephant in the room. And that’s Skylar’s ongoing disappearance from the public eye. We all understand why she had to leave the band and you guys have spoken openly about your support of that decision . . . but where is she? Her fans want to know. I mean, people are genuinely worried, and if she’s okay, maybe she should let her fans know she’s okay. Do you know where she is?”
Austin and Brandon shared a look while Micah stared stonily at the floor. Finally, Brandon sighed. He looked exhausted and couldn’t hide his worry. “Honestly, we don’t know exactly where Skylar is right now. All we know is that she’s taking some time off.”
“So, you don’t know if she’s okay?” the presenter said dramatically.
“No. I guess we don’t.”
“If she’s listening right now, what would you want to say to her?”
“That we hope she’s safe. That if she’s okay, she should call us. We miss and love her.” Brandon’s voice trembled on the last bit and he looked away, as if trying to compose himself. He seemed to fail when he said, “Can we take a break?” He got up and walked off camera.
It was the thing that broke me.
Autumn wrapped her arm around me and I leaned into her as I cried softly.
They deserved better.
The reminder brought me back to the label, to the meeting, and I glared at Lois the publicity annoyance. “We get it, you think social media is a big part of sales. And you’re right. But Tellurian’s sales haven’t plummeted because I’m not there to help Micah play out our tragic love story for the press.” I looked at Killian. “I listened to some of their new stuff yesterday. It’s . . . it’s not great. And I’m not blaming Macy. She has a good voice. The music, it’s tired.”
He nodded. “I agree. And it’s not your fault.”
It was kind of him to say so, but it was my fault.
I turned back to Lois. “Were you leading to something resembling a point earlier?”
May coughed to cover up a snort and Eve interrupted before Lois could follow her scowl with a verbal response. Killian’s sweet assistant had brought us our drinks and some fresh doughnuts. Once she’d left, I waited for Lois to respond.
“I really am sorry if I insulted you earlier.”